


Tame Me

by miruno



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-24 23:41:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 51,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14366238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miruno/pseuds/miruno
Summary: After hooking up during an evening of heavy drinking, Reno starts to realize he has feelings for Cloud Strife. But how will those feelings work up around his job as a Turk, Cloud's mission and the aftermath of the meteor?





	1. The Night

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written years ago as a oneshot fic, but afterwards extended to many chapters. This version is a revised and better edited to make sure the first fic part and rest of the story make better sense. Revolves around the idea of Reno and Cloud having a relationship, but, considering how cautious they are towards each other during the events of Advent Children. What happened between the original game and the movie and how did their relationship cool?
> 
> Most inspiration I've had on this fic is from music by Monoral, I highly recommend listening to the band if you want to get into the correct mood!

Those eyes. Those mako-tinted eyes bore down on me like so many times before. I’d seen my fair share of mako eyes at the Shinra HQ, but these eyes were different. Cold, yes. Soft… perhaps? You could never tell what was going on in that mind of his. He was just that good at hiding behind those eyes. And still, he could slip some emotion through the wall so that you were enticed to look for more.

When was it that I’d seen them for the first time? Right, the flower girl, that Ancient. I knew immediately that he wasn’t just a bodyguard. He was precise and sharp with his movements, knowing exactly where to strike—and how. Not that the Ancient couldn’t fend for herself. They did make a good pair, I couldn’t deny that. Still, there was only one thing I could remember clearly, even through my drunken haze. It was the eyes…

Those eyes.

What a cliché, and a disappointment. Me, the tough-guy, second-in-charge Turk falling for a pair of blue eyes. Even after everything he’d done, how was it that I still couldn’t be mad at him? The last time we’d been in contact he’d beaten me nearly to death. It was, after all, probably thanks to Tseng and his lackeys that I survived. Seemed like ages ago that it had happened. And yet, here I was, staring back into those eyes with not even the slightest feeling of revenge.

Of course, I’d been bedridden all these weeks up until this morning, and believe me, the weeks had felt like eternity. I’d barely seen Rude or the new girl, Elena, as Tseng had kept them working on Shinra and Turk business. All human contact I’d had was this old nurse who came five times a day to check my charts and tweak my medicine intake. And, oh god, not to mention the sponge baths I had to endure the first weeks. Never again will I let old wrinkly fingers like that touch me.

But now I was free.  _ Finally, _ I was fine enough to leave the hospital, a few days in advance, even. Well, there had been the urgent call from Heidegger to gather everyone at HQ this Sunday, so that may have been a deciding factor. I didn’t know much about what the topic was supposed to be, probably something having to do with Rude’s tour to the Northern Crater. I didn’t care; I was still on my mandated sick leave. No need to worry about work.

So what had I done after getting released from the Shinra hospital? Obviously straight to the bar, of course. I hadn’t planned on getting wasted, but things just happened. You know, one beer after another, and soon I’ve chugged nearly twenty down. And then, this asshole of a punk comes strutting up to me, cursing about something the Turks may or may not have done to his family—I’m not going admit to anything. I won’t lie, I wasn’t interested in hearing people bother me on my own free time. Perhaps I said something wrong, but the conversation ended quickly with the guy throwing a drunken punch in my direction. He missed, of course, and I was quick to retaliate with a well-aimed fist into his face.

As you can imagine, that didn’t end well for me. The bar’s bouncer was on me in an instant, dragging my drunken body with to the door and thrusting me outside. And here I was. Dazed, drunk, and head spinning, staring at a pair of boots right in front of my face. I looked up, ready to make some snide comment about people watching out where they walk, but I stopped.

There they were. Ice blue eyes glaring down at me. I almost expected him to scoff when I flashed a drunken grin up at him. “Wadup, Strife?” I blurted before my mind could stop me.

Cloud’s eyebrows tensed and his face turned into a frown. ”What are you doing here,  _ Reno _ ?” There was an unpleasant tone in the way he pronounced my name. I didn’t know if I was supposed to answer or not, if Cloud even wanted an answer. Without a word, he offered his hand to pull me up.

“What do you think?” I slurred and barely kept my balance once back on my feet. “Enjoying a Friday night out, what’s it look like?” I was probably too sharp with my reply because Cloud looked away, shaking his head.

“You enjoy being thrown out of bars?” Cloud sounded almost amused. If there had been a smile on his lips, it disappeared as soon as he turned back in my direction.

“Well…” I gave a slight cough and patted dust off my pants. “Not all people here are as polite as you…” His eyebrow rose in a question. “You know, all of Shinra is looking for you. Maybe I should just take you in to prove to the big boss that I’m capable if doing something for once. And after that…” My voice trailed off. I’d forgotten what I was saying.

This time he actually did laugh. “Reno, I don’t think you’re capable of walking ten feet without stumbling. Do you really want to take me on right now?” Even though he tried to hide it, I caught that quick flash of a challenge in his eyes.

“Hey, hey… Relax, it’s not like I’m on company time here.” I leaned towards him and put my arm around his shoulders. Good thing I did, since otherwise I probably would have fallen over again. I meant to continue speaking right away, but his eyes had caught me. He had that trademark frown on his face, trying to tell me to let go of his shoulders.

Honestly, he was rather cute with that grumpy look. All these thoughts swarmed my drunken head. If I’d had a couple of shots more, I probably would have kissed and grabbed him and taken him away to some nearby love hotel and fucked his brains out. Hell, I might have even kissed Rufus Shinra himself had he been here. I had to bite my lip just to make sure I was really still there and not blacked out in some alcohol-induced dream. Cloud’s frown only deepened.

“Come on…” I drawled, sounding drunker than I really was. “Loosen up there, Strife. Let me buy you a drink or two, and I’ll totally forget how you beat the crap out of me last time.”

The blond only pushed my arm away from him. “Not interested.” Not interested my ass!

“Fine, whatever you want. If my olive branch isn’t accepted, I guess I’ll just have that drink by myself, simple as that.” I started stumbling across the street—almost getting hit by a passing car—towards the shady-looking pub I hadn’t yet been thrown out of.

Idiot, I’ll just drink myself stupid. I don’t know what that blond ex-soldier was doing in Midgar, but if my company isn’t good enough, he can be on his way.

The blinking sign in the pub’s window displayed the words “The Drunken Rat” to inform exactly what kind of customers lurked inside. I didn’t expect much, and those low expectations were met to the tee: old, broken down furniture, the stench of spilled beer and vomit, and only a couple of working lights to successfully hide the pitiful drunks inside. Now I was one of them.

I made my way to the furthest corner of the bar, but still close enough to the counter. There was some sort of weird hand gestures to the bartender to ask for drinks, and I suppose he did understand it. The man glared at my Turk uniform, but shrugged it off. This didn’t seem to be the kind of place that could actually choose their customers. The pint quickly thudded on the counter, part of the beer spilling onto the already disgusting surface.

“You shouldn’t drink much more if you want to get home in one piece...”

Shit, did I jump! I thought I had chosen the most desolate place of the bar, but no! Before I could recognize the speaker, my beer slid to the side as Cloud took it for himself and sat down by the bar stool next to me.

For once I was lost for words. Embarrassed for being caught off guard. As a Turk, out in the field that would be a death sentence. No matter how drunk you were, you always had to know where you were and how was around you. Or that’s what I remember Tseng preaching us Turk trainees years ago, but who would remember?

Cloud said nothing, and I had to settle to ordering another pint. I didn’t even feel like drinking anymore, and instead tried to sneak peeks of him. Cloud kept his gaze on the foamy glass, still frowning, and only parting his lips when he took quick sips of the beer. Did he come here just to steal my beer? Why wasn’t he saying anything? The more we sat there in silence the more nervous I became.

_ But he had come, _ a little voice reminded me in the back of my head.

It didn’t take him long to finish his beer; the last quarter he downed in one continuous gulp, then setting down the empty glass carefully.

“I’m sorry,” Cloud muttered, his hand still on the glass.

“Eh?” What was he talking about? I tried hiding my confusion into my newly brought beer, but it just ended in me swallowing too much at a time and having to cough up the rest.

“I’m sorry about what… happened to you.” Cloud kept his eyes pinned forward. My intestines knotted up. I could feel my face grow warm, only hoping that it didn’t show.

“It’s nothing. I’m still here, you know.” I gave a nervous laugh, knowing very well that I should just shut up altogether. “I’m… I’m sorry, too. About the whole Sector 7 thing… I mean, a job’s a job, I was ordered to, not that I enjoyed it. At all…” My voice trailed off again. There really wasn’t anything I could say to make the Sector 7 incident better. Simply put, there was no justification for it.

There was an awkward silence, both of us taking in the other one’s apology. My heart was pounding in my chest. He really felt bad for putting me in that condition. Rarely—well, never—anyone had given shit about what condition I was in. For Shinra, I was dispensable, and I really didn’t have anything else in my life, to be honest. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold myself in place and prevent me from doing anything stupid. God, I could have done with a hug right now.

“Shots?” Cloud seemed to try to break the silence in some way that, to him, was approachable for me. 

I nodded in agreement. I was afraid to open my mouth, in case I blurted something stupid. Something like… _ You’re so gorgeous. You’re the only one who’s cared to apologize. I love your eyes. I would so blow you right now… _

Shit! No, Reno, stop it. It just would be better if I excused myself from the situation and go home to sleep.

I didn’t move.

I should leave, and find myself some Honeybee whore and go fuck these thoughts away. I shouldn’t stay here.

“Had enough?”

I had no idea what had transpired in the real world outside my thoughts. Cloud had his empty shot glass in front of him, while I was only absentmindedly twirling mine, still full of the liquor. I waved my hand, giving him permission to take my drink also. It was a matter of seconds that its contents had already disappeared. Cloud grimaced at the strength of the alcohol, but the bartender was quick to fill our glasses again.

This one I had to drink, just to keep me drunk enough to make the situation less awkward. My hand was shaking slightly as I lifted the small glass to my lips. The liquid did burn, but even it was replaced by a numbing curtain of warmth afterwards.

“Yo, Spike.” Cloud looked up, a frown returning to his face. “Why are you here? Why the hell would you come back here, after everything? You’re lucky no one’s spotted you. Seriously, where’s everyone else?”

Cloud’s face went blank and he looked down. “I… don’t know. I just… had to come here.”

He made no sense, or he was way more drunk than he appeared. I leaned a bit closer. “You really should get as far away from Midgar as you can. ‘Cause by Sunday I’m pretty much forced to report you to my bosses,” I kept my voice so hushed that Cloud had to lean forwards to hear. “You,” I poked his chest with my finger, “you should leave this city or else...”

I couldn’t take it anymore. Fuck it, I was drunk, and he was too close. What exactly made me do it, was way beyond my comprehension. It didn’t take more than a slight nudge of my head forwards for my lips to meet his, and everything in my head went blank.

Cloud froze.

The voice in my head kept screaming “Stop it, you asshole!” but I kept my lips there. His pouty lips were tightly closed; I bet he was holding his breath. And yet, he didn’t pull back. I don’t know about him, but I felt like I was about to melt onto the floor. I’ve done some really brash things while drunk, but never,  _ never _ anything this stupid. I kept my eyes closed, waiting for an incoming punch or shove or whatever there was to come from kissing this blond ex-Soldier. But nothing came.

Probably a full ten or more seconds we were there, connected by the faint touch of our lips. That time felt like hours. My heart seemed to be pounding out of my chest—I only could hope Cloud couldn’t hear it—and tingling shots of electricity kept running down my back. Finally, he put his hand on my chest and pushed me backwards. I can’t deny that his touch sent more of the sparks wriggling around my whole body, especially to one certain area.

Cloud’s face was bright red as he quickly took a look around the pub to see if anyone had noticed. If they did, no one bothered the moment with another look. “What the hell, Reno?!” he whispered, probably trying not to attract any more attention.

I didn’t know what to say. I was still totally dumbfounded by what I’d actually done. If I had been drunk before, now I was so wasted that there was only one thing spinning in my mind. You probably don’t even need to guess what—or who—it was. 

I leaned forwards, almost toppling of the bar stool, asking for another moment of connection. To my utter surprise, this time Cloud met me halfway, and we were connected again. My tongue gently touched his lips, asking for permission. They parted just enough for me to make an entrance. There was some faint gasp of a protest, but that was quickly silenced. Instinctively, my hand reached for his hair. That spikey, blond mess.

How many weeks had I been cooped up in the hospital room? Too many. I hadn’t realized how deprived I was from some specific human needs. For a moment I forgot who the person across from me was. It was just raw emotion and feeling like I belonged to someone. A human connection. My free hand was slowly creeping to his thigh, searching for its way towards his crotch…

Cloud shuddered and pushed me away once more. “Stop.” His command sliced through the moment like a knife. “Reno, you’re drunk.”

“Yeah, I am.” I leaned towards him a bit too much and almost fell into his lap. Cloud was faster; he caught my shoulder and pushed me back.

“I should take you home. There’s no chance you’ll make it there in your condition.”

“Home?” Was he… suggesting to come along? Did he understand how drunk I was? He couldn’t possibly take me home, and I sure as hell couldn’t let him inside. Oh, God, I wanted him so bad. I’d never thought I’d feel like this about another guy but… He wasn’t any ordinary guy. I’d already had a taste of him, and I wasn’t going to just leave it at that.

Cloud just sat there, staring at me. I could tell the alcohol was slowly getting a grip of him, too, but his gaze was surprisingly sober. Why couldn’t I figure what was going on inside his head? Why would he always keep everything hidden there? I had no way of knowing why he even was here. Was he here just to make fun of me? To watch this Turk drink himself to whatever state I was going to end up in and then pass out.

_ But he said he’d take you home… _ Home. Home is where the bed is, and in bed you can do a lot of things except sleep. Oh, how I wanted to do all those things to him. Honestly, right now I’d do them to almost any person who ended up there with me.  I’d love to see if he could keep that façade up even throughout the whole process of me being inside him, again after again… I wanted to make him lose it. Whose name would he be calling out in the peak of his orgasm..? I was curious. Curious, and so fucking turned on.

“Reno? Did you hear anything I said?”

I was brought back from my fantasies. Cloud was standing next to me, arms crossed against his chest.

“I said I’m going.” With that statement he turned and marched out of the bar, although from his steps you could tell he wasn’t entirely sober. I swore under my breath and, not noticing he had already paid for the drinks, tossed a few gil on the counter and scrambled after him.

The cool night air hit me in the face, and, unlike usually, I didn’t feel any more sober. Worse, in fact: the rush to follow Cloud had only made the whole world around me begin to spin. I took one staggering step to the right, tripped on my own feet and fell towards the ground—again. Someone caught me in midair. That firm grip could only be him, anyone else would have let me fall to the ground.

“Easy there, Reno,” he muttered as I tried gaining my balance again. “Do you have money for a cab?” I tried to form some sort of an answer, but judging by his sigh it was far from coherent. It just felt so good to have someone so close to you. His arm was around my waist, pulling me towards his body to help me stand up. Everything was twirling; I was pretty sure I’d fall the moment he let go. It couldn’t have been easy to keep me upright. Why was I surprised of his strength, even though just a few weeks ago I’d been on the receiving end of it?

Cloud walked me to the edge of the street and tried to motion for a cab to stop. At this time of the night they would surely be occupied already, and in this part of town, there just wouldn’t be many. My head flopped onto his shoulder but he nudged it up just as quickly.

“You are not going to pass out or I’m leaving you here.” He didn’t sound all that pleased. A cab rushed past us, already taken. “I’m pretty sure you won’t get home by yourself.”

“I can get home just fine…” I managed to say. Probably the most words I could put in a sentence at the moment. Cloud nudged me straight again, and at the same time waved down a cab that did, actually, stop. He pulled the back door open and - quite forcefully - pushed me in before following.

“Where to?” the driver turned around in his seat, a cigarette in his mouth. I mumbled the directions so quietly that Cloud had to repeat them to the driver. I was about to continue with a “thank you” to Cloud for helping me out, but I managed to pass out before it.

**

I woke up to a stinging slap right onto my face. Opened my eyes, and there he was again. Despite the hurt on my cheek, I broke into probably the most drunken grin you’d ever seen. “Strife… You’re still here!”

Instead if a smile bag, the frown stayed on his face as he yanked me out of the cab. “You need to pay.”

It took me a few moments to gather myself and actually recognize my surroundings: the familiar but empty parking lot of the apartment building I lived at. Everything was quiet except the humming of the cab parked beside us. The driver was leaning out of his window looking very annoyed. I’m not sure how long Cloud had tried to wake me up, but it couldn’t have been immediately.

“Yeah, sure…” I reached for my wallet in the back pocket of my pants, fumbled, and dropped it. This time I could hear an overly exaggerated sigh coming from Cloud as he kneeled to pick it up for me. He quickly counted the correct amount (or at least I hoped it was the correct amount) of gil for the driver. The driver nodded, rolled up the window and drove away.

Meanwhile, I was just standing there, teetering on the verge of falling down. And just then I remembered: I had a flask of liquor stashed away in the breast pocket of my coat. Yes! More alcohol! I staggered a few steps backwards as I tried to first take the bottle, then open it, but there he was again, taking a hold of me. The flask was snatched from my fingers, and I’m sure the look I gave Cloud was the same as when a favorite toy is taken from a baby.

He was as close to carrying me as it was possible with me still moving my own legs. We made our way to the door to the staircase and, hopefully, finally to my apartment. My head nodded against his. He didn’t make any gesture to move it. I closed my eyes and let him guide me. There was silence around, apart from the occasional yelling from a fight a few blocks away, and the echo of our footsteps seemed very loud. As much as I would have wanted to focus on the silence, I was mesmerized by the sheer scent of Cloud. What I had been thinking of earlier, what I thought of doing to and with him, came flooding back.

Finally, at the door. He somehow managed to get us past it without much difficulty, but the stairs would be the biggest challenge. It would be four flights of them to get to my door. I might have mentioned that to him, I wasn’t sure when, but he did start dragging me up them. It probably took twice the time to get to the correct floor, and door. When we did get there Cloud let go of me and I slumped to the floor.

Everything seemed to spin even though I was perched on my ass on the floor. Again, Cloud stood there in front of me with the flask he’d stolen from me in his hand. He took a few sips, probably as some sort of reward for getting me up there. He took his time, sipping some more, before turning back to me.

“You have your keys?” he really couldn’t sound more condescending.

“In my back pocket.” I tried to get up but it seemed like the floor itself was made from oil as each time my feet or hands slipped. Cloud eyed my desperate attempts a moment before finally grabbing me under my arm and lifting me up. “Thanks…”

He reached into my pocket and I found my chance. Surprising even myself with my swiftness, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, right where I wanted him. Our lips met, and this time I wouldn’t let him push me away that easily. He’d lost his balance completely and pinned me against the wall. His lips parted and allowed my tongue inside. I let out an embarrassingly loud moan as his hand, the one in my pocket, grabbed my ass. Not sure if it was intentional or just a reaction from the kiss.

My heart was thudding so hard I was sure Cloud could hear it, and a tightness in my crotch started to grow.  _ Great job Reno, you and your drunken brain. _ I was still clenching his shirt, not letting him move away, but slowly it did become obvious it was unnecessary. He still had a firm hold of my ass and his other hand made its way into my hair. Cloud even leaned more into the kiss.

_ I can’t believe this is happening _ .

Finally, I had to break our connection for air. His blue eyes were just inches away from my face. I wasn’t sure how to interpret the look he was giving me. Slightly out of focus, piercing through me.  I was almost sporting a full on boner, which I really hoped he had failed to notice. Holy shit, this was going to be difficult. A voice in my head was yelling to just get him inside, while another told me to forget about it.

“Your keys?” he asked and pulled his hand from my pocket. I was so dazed and turned on that I didn’t really know what to make of the situation; Cloud had to, once again, help me with the lock. It clicked open.

I was frozen, not sure what to do. Right now he was the most beautiful person I’d ever laid eyes on. The hottest… My thoughts flickered back and forth from my orders at work to horny ones like how big he was down there. I had a feeling my mouth was open gaping like an idiot. What on earth were you supposed to say at a time like this?

The door to my apartment opened. This was the only chance I would have, and I was afraid I’d say or do just the wrong thing to drive him away. Not that my drunken brain would listen anyways. I still had a hold of Cloud’s shirt, and gave a little tug to ask for another kiss. He let me pull him against me. He pressed so hard against me that there was no doubt he could feel my erection.

Another pause to breathe.

“I really want you so fucking much right now,” I blurted out. Not a lie, but not a smart thing to say, either. “Please…” So now I’m begging?

A frown flickered on Cloud’s face, switching back and forth between it and confusion. I made a move towards the door. He followed. Through it. The door was pulled shut, I don’t know which of us even did it. I was in a drunken blur of horniness there wasn’t much I did notice.

There was something about the shutting of the door, like it also locked out any kind of inhibition or expectations of the real world. Immediately I threw myself on Cloud, my turn holding him against the wall. He countered by putting his arm around me and pulling me even closer. By now there was no mistaking whether either of us was hard down there.

A shudder tingled down my spine as I thought of how I was the one he was reacting to. Me. And I was reacting to his presence.

We were held together by a continuous kiss, something I at least feared to break. He was so close, so warm. I couldn’t take it anymore. My hand wandered to his hips, pulled up his shirt and slightly touched the skin. Cloud shuddered and let out a little gasp into my mouth, still not breaking us apart. My hand continued, trying to unbuckle his belt. I barely got it open, but when I did my hand dove into his pants.

The moan was much louder this time, and his head leaned back against the wall. Honestly, I’d never handled anyone else’s dick except my own, but hell, I’d had well enough time doing that in my life. Just a gentle rub, as much as I could with his pants still on. Cloud couldn’t answer my kisses anymore; he was breathing heavily in response to my fondling. His reaction seemed almost too strong. How long had it been since he’d felt this way?

My own erection was painfully held back, and I had to let it out. Even though Cloud seemed like he was incapable of doing anything but enjoy my caress, I took a hold of his hand with my free one and brought it to feel my girth. At the first touch I felt him try to move his hand away, like he’d been burned, but he quickly relaxed and let me guide his movement.

It was my turn to let out a pleased whimper. I feared my legs would give way and I’d fall to the floor. Even though it was me showing Cloud how to work my cock it felt so much better than any other time I had to do it myself.

“That… feels so good,” I barely breathed the words out. If we were to stay in this situation any longer I wouldn’t have the strength to keep myself from coming. “We need to…” A groan. Cloud’s fingers had lightly stroked my tip. “...the bed.”

My apartment was so small that it was only a few strides to reach the bedroom, even less to the actually bed. It was clumsy to move even that short distance, my hand still in his pants, stroking. We twirled and twisted the way, finally tripping on some clothes left on the floor. Cloud fell on his back on the unmade bed, and I was quick to follow him. I kneeled over his body and for a few seconds watched his mako eyes gazing back at me.

Like we were synchronized, at the same time both of us just started tearing away each others clothing. I failed my part: the leather straps of Cloud’s armor were a much harder feat to take off. Though if it was up to me I really didn’t need him to be bare on the waist up…

Cloud was quick to unstrap himself from the armor as I flung my jacket into a corner. I was in the middle of unbuttoning my wrinkled dress shirt when he pulled off his sweater to reveal his toned and muscular upper body. I’d never given a second thought to the male body; I’d always considered myself to appreciate the female form first and foremost. But shit! That body looked so good, strong, powerful. Mine.

I dove on him, my hands feeling down his nipples, abs. My head buried into his neck and blond hair. I gave a little nibble on his earlobe and Cloud shuddered. A little kiss on his neck, then a tender bite. He dug his hands into my hair, slightly tugging the ponytail as encouragement. My fingers were playing with his nipples, soon to be followed by my mouth. I gave them a lick and let my teeth gently feel the sensitive skin around.

I’d always been into the rougher side of sex, and couldn’t help but wonder how far would Cloud be willing to let me go. I took a hold of his blond spikes and yanked his head backwards while biting down harder around his nipple. His response was a gasp and moan,  almost challenging me to go further.

“Re- Reno…” I nearly came when he said my name. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavy from arousal. “Please… go lower.”

I knew what he was asking for, but, even though I was trashed drunk I wasn’t sure I could do it. Instead, I reached over him to the drawer next to the bed, opened it and tried to find the lube i had stashed away.

There, found it. I hadn’t had much use for it previously, but  I had tried some new stuff with a few blond bimbos before, so it was there, just in case. Just in case of situations like this. The lube itself was cool to the touch, but it quickly warmed up in my hands. I was still kneeling above Cloud, stroking myself with the lube. I saw him looking at my dick with an enticing, curious look. 

“Turn around,” I ordered and he followed.

“What are you-” his blue eyes looked back at me past his shoulders.

“Relax.”

One finger in. Cloud tensed immediately. I leaned in and kissed the back of his neck. My free hand went to stroke his erection, trying to get him to relax. If he didn’t, this wouldn’t go the way I wanted. He let out an approving grunt. I started slowly moving my finger in and out, making him more comfortable with the situation. Once he seemed relaxed enough, a second finger.

It took some time to get him fully relaxed, but by then I sensed he was very close to a climax. I let go of his dick, hoping that it might cool him down enough to let me get some pleasure. I took a firm hold of his hips, positioned myself and slowly started pushing in. He groaned, more in pain than pleasure.

“Relax…” I muttered and kept repeating the word as I went in deeper. He was really tight that it was almost painful for me, too. I was fully inside, my hips meeting with his ass cheeks. I had to pause and let him adjust to the feeling, even though all I wanted was to start pounding him straight away.

I stroked his back, fingers gently moving up and down, finding some old scars. I didn’t mind them. We all had our scars, and considering his past it was a surprise there wasn’t more of them.

Cloud mumbled something but I couldn’t make it out. 

“Does it hurt?”  _ Please don’t say it does, this feels too good to stop. _

“No… You just... feel really good.” His back was heaving with his breathes. “I don’t think I can wait…”

Oh god, why did he have to say such things. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t going to last long either. I pulled back, then gently back in. Cloud gasped. Maybe I’d hit that correct spot? I repeated the action, hoping to aim at the same place. He gasped again, this time mixed in with a pleasured groan. Or maybe it was me? I couldn’t tell anymore. After the next few pushes it seemed like Cloud was leaning into it more. He was starting to enjoy it, too. I definitely was.

I was starting to get close to climax. My body was giving those pre-orgasm shudders, telling me it was about time. I was probably whimpering like a puppy, pounding into that ass, but I couldn’t care less. This felt… so much better than anything I had tried with a woman. So much more… intense.

Cloud had been moaning and crying out nearly every time I pushed in. He grasped the sheets with his hands and buried his face into a pillow. It felt like he was almost embarrassed of his reaction, something that made me want to pound him even harder.

“I can’t, Reno...I’m going to…” He breathed out between gasps. I reached out in front of him and grabbed that pulsating erection. Almost instantly Cloud’s whole body tensed up and I felt the warmth ooze out as he came. It didn’t take me more than a few more pushes that I quickly followed him. My mind went blank and all I could feel for the moment was pulsating electricity running through my body.

I pulled out and suddenly felt so, so tired. Everything started spinning again, and this time it wasn’t from the orgasm. I slumped onto the bed next to Cloud. I couldn’t see his face. It was still hidden in the pillow, but he was breathing heavily.

“Cloud.. I really like your hair…” I slurred before passing out.


	2. The Morning After

Sunlight. That damn sunlight, and straight into my eyes. Not only that, the moment I lifted a hand to shield my eyes from the sun the god-awful headache struck. Yeah, the usual Saturday morning. Must have been nearly noon, but where would I be going? I just turned to my side and tried to reach for a blanket to pull over and sleep away the hangover. Nothing in my arm's length, but I sure wasn't going to move from that spot anymore.

Before any more thoughts of memories had the time to recover, that despicable, churning sensation in my abdomen began and I could taste stomach acid at the back of my throat. I sprung up from the bed, not giving a second—or first—glance at the room. It didn't take more than a few strides to the bathroom and, finally, the toilet. To be honest, there wasn't much to vomit, but it did, for a moment, allow me to breathe again.

Spitting the last traces from my mouth there was a sudden flashback of the previous night. The bar. Drinking. The blond. The sex. But something was off. I lifted my head and looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Shit, did I look hung-over. My red eyes, dark circles around them, a face as pale as chalkboard and still a streak of vomit dripping down my chin. You're such a mess, idiot, so much that I couldn't help but laugh at the image. It did, however, come out more like a pathetic snort. Something I could have done without since it seemed to remind my brain of the terrible headache. Like my head was about to explode.

I groaned and leaned over the sink to hold my head, my crimson, messy locks falling forward over my naked shoulders. The hangover was getting a hold of me again. It was so bad I had to concentrate on my breathing alone to survive the minutes without being sick a second time. I don't know why or how, but at that moment a second flashback arrived in my head. The mako eyes. Cloud Strife.

If it was possible my face went even whiter than it had been. I was sure my heart stopped, or at least took a hell of a time to start beating again. Was it just my mind playing tricks or what was this alcohol-drenched memory? I remembered… what exactly? The lustful mako eyes, the moaning, grinding, insane drunk sex. Myself in the blond, pounding into him…

Reality. It's a bitch.

I almost threw up on the spot. My knees nearly gave way and I had to clutch the sink with all the strength I had left in me while my other hand went to my mouth to try stifle the gag reflex.

_ Shit. _

The only thing that spun in my head.

_ Shit shit shit shit shit. _

I was literally speechless—or thoughtless, for that matter. The images from the night before spun in my head so fast I couldn't really cling to any specific one. Was this all even real? Maybe I'd had some fucked up sex dream about the pretty blond instead. Yeah, that must be it. I'd passed out once I got home and just dreamed it all. Wouldn't be the first time.

I couldn't shrug off the feeling I was missing something. I turned my back on the tiled bathroom wall and slid to the floor. I hadn't been alone in the bed. Someone…. blond was there, too. Another moment of hyperventilation nearly overtook me. What was I to do? Should I wake him? Was he still sleeping? What was I supposed to say?  _ Hey, thanks for the fuck. Tonight, same place same time again? _

Yeah, right, like a charming smile would do the trick. The girls love it, even I do, but Cloud…?

The cool tiles helped me to sober up just enough to start thinking again. Just breathe, fucking gather yourself. Maybe I should go back to the bedroom just to make sure, but I couldn't make myself get up. Like my legs were still paralyzed from shock. What had I done? What had we done? God, what am I to report to work? Tseng would probably just shoot me on the spot.

What the fuck had gone through my head last night? In what possible scenario had the idea of bringing Cloud Strife,  _ the _ Cloud Strife, back here been a good idea. But had it all been my idea? I could faintly remember waiting for a cab. It hadn't just been me, had it? There definitely was someone else in the car with me.

A thousand more why-thoughts flooded my mind.

_ Just stop thinking for a moment! _ But I couldn't.  _ You know you can't spend the rest of the day here. _ Why was it so intimidating to walk back and find Cloud in my bed? No, it was the idea of him actually  _ being _ there that was so scary.  _ Come on, Reno, you're a big boy. Get a grip and face the situation like a man. _

Easier said than done, brain; by the time I had pulled myself back up standing my head was spinning so bad I just wanted to slump back down. I didn't really have the time since a sound from the other side of my apartment made me freeze.

Stumbling footsteps coming this way. All I had to think was a fleeting wish of  _ please let it be some chick _ before a very familiar naked figure burst into the bathroom and lunged towards the toilet. I freaking jump and immediately fumbled for something to cover myself. What my hands reached first was a small hand towel that didn't do much to cover anything else than my groin area.

Cloud coughed a few times into the toilet before lifting his gaze at me. His eyes widened in surprise as he recognized my stupid-ass face lingering on him. I recognized the exact same emotions flicker in the blonde's eyes I had myself gone through a moment earlier. Shock, surprise, disbelief and—finally—shame. His face turned bright red as my hair and he looked away, still sitting on the floor next to the toilet.

I was just stupidly gaping at him with my mouth part open, trying to form some words. Nothing came out, and I could feel color and heat return to my cheeks as well. What was there to say?

"I…" Cloud started but my genius brain decided to interrupt him.

"You want coffee?" I blurted.

Awesome. Un-fucking-believable I just said that.

Cloud was clearly taken back by the question, though not nearly as much as I was. For a second he stared straight into my eyes, then, as if realizing we were both as naked as one can get, he pulled his legs towards as if to hide the very fact. His face went bright red again. "…Y-yeah."

It honestly took me another minute or two to react. Foolishly I just pointed at the door. "Yeah I'll uh… go make some. Shower's... free to use and… stuff." I couldn't just stand there anymore. I rushed, stumbled, threw myself out of the bathroom and shut the door behind. With the small clack of the door closing I realized I hadn't really been breathing.

I still couldn't believe it. Almost on autopilot, my knees still slightly shaking, I hurried back to my bedroom. Everything was a real mess: my clothes, his clothes, were scattered everywhere in addition to the otherwise chaotic state it was in. I picked up the closest thing that reminded me of a pair of pants only to find they were an old pair I’d already once ditched as being too dirty and full of holes. I sighed and chucked them to my side.

Once I had located yesterday's pants I pulled them on, not bothering with boxers or anything of that sort. I had to get something to ease the headache. Luckily, I always kept a stash bottle of whiskey in the drawers. It had been right next to the bottle of lube I’d dug out yesterday. I opened the bottle and emptied the contents into my mouth. It felt so good to have that sweet, bitter taste of alcohol gush down my throat. I sure as hell couldn't keep on getting any more sober from this. I threw my dress shirt on my shoulders. Tsk, a few buttons were missing.

The shower was on when I retraced my steps to my small kitchen. There was some old, nearly moldy coffee in the pan that I just poured out and rinsed the pan quickly with water. It didn't take more than a minute to get the coffee machine bubbling again. The sound was soothing with the continuous drizzle of the shower adjacent to the kitchen.

I sighed and lit a cigarette. Something to calm my nerves at the moment. My hands were still trembling, even though I tried to breathe in the nicotine infused smoke as calmly as possible. This was a mistake. A big fucking mistake. Apart from the fact that I'd had the blond in my thoughts for the past month, this was a mistake so big it probably didn't even have a mention in the Shinra employee's code of conduct. Hell, even among the Turks people have been shot for less. Tseng would probably hang me by my nuts before giving a turn to Rufus Shinra.

I glared out the window at the busy street. The parking lot of the apartment complex was filled with cars glinting in the sunlight. I wouldn't want to admit it, but last night had been… awesome. No matter how much I knew it was wrong, Reno gone too far –type of achievement, it had been so goddamn awesome. As much as I could remember of it, that is. But I didn’t want to remember. The only other time I’d been in trouble like this was the time I hooked up with Don Corneo's favorite girl.

Oh, she was a nice one, Clarissa, I think her name was. One of Honeybee Inn's most popular girls, so no wonder the Don had a thing for her. Everyone did. Always prancing around in that tiny, dark purple silk dress like she wasn't wearing anything at all, every now and then letting the audience have a glimpse of her perfume-traced underwear. Occasionally, she even had a rhinestone-encrusted tiara on her golden locks. No one was allowed to more than watch except Don Corneo—and me, for that matter. We sure had a good ride up until the point the Don busted us right in the middle of action.

I got an hour long lecture from Tseng after that night on something about being professionally discreet and maintaining a civilized relationship between Don Corneo and his lackeys. So you can probably imagine what kind of hell I'd get if this was to leak into the public. In other words, I was screwed. If nothing else I was required to file a report on any signs of the remaining AVALANCHE-members and anyone known to have a connection with them. Meh, I'll just lie and if worst comes to it, I'll just say I was too drunk to do anything.

Seriously though, this should just be brushed under the rug and I should act like nothing out of ordinary had ever happened. I hate to admit, but in a way I had the tingling sensation in the bottom of my stomach that I had done something right. I didn't like that feeling. Sure, on my sickbed I'd found myself daydreaming of Strife on occasion. I wouldn't say that meant anything since I've quite as much had the same thoughts about Elena, for example.

Then again, now that I thought of it, I've always paid more attention to the men around me. You know, those small things like how Tseng manages to keep his hair so sleek no matter what the circumstances. Or the occasional glimpses of Rufus Shinra's ass when we happened to pass in the many hallways of the Shinra tower. That white suit surely does wonders for the man's body. Then again, maybe I was just paranoid and reading too much into the situation.

Still, what a way to burst out of the closet, Reno. Go straight on to sleep with the "enemy." The cigarette was to its last huffs and I just stumped it on the kitchen counter next to the coffee machine. Another sigh. Might as well be polite. I took the cleanest mug I could find and poured it full of the warm, rich coffee ready for Cloud. The situation couldn't get much worse anyway.

As I lifted my gaze from the cup there he was, at the doorway to the kitchen. I'd been so deep in thought that I hadn't even heard when he had ended his shower. For the first time that day I got a good look at him. Cloud had apparently gone through my laundry basket in the bathroom to find even something decent to wear. All I pretty much had were the dark blue, almost black, Turk uniforms. I'd need new ones every now and then, so often that Tseng always scowled when I requested for new uniforms and Elena just scoffed at my recklessness.

Anyway, those being pretty much the only clothing I had, Cloud had had no choice but to put on a pair of my old pants and a dress shirt that had more than a few dirt/blood stains in it. He was clearly uncomfortable at the only option, and my smirking at the ridiculous—though well-fitting—outfit didn't make it any better. I was about to make some sort of remark about him but those blue eyes flashed so deadly at me I decided to hold my tongue.

_ Act. Cool. _

"Coffee?" I offered the mug to him. Cloud's expression didn't even twitch. So, he's not going to move. The same kind of loathing I'd seen yesterday was creeping back on his face. Or was it just something he used to conceal another kind of emotion? I made an exaggerated sigh and rolled my eyes. The filled coffee mug spilled some of its contents onto the floor when I took the few steps to give it to him. "Fine, be like that."

Before Cloud had a chance to say anything back, nor my brain time to stop me, I leaned just a bit forwards and gave a quick kiss on the blond's lips. Cloud tensed so much it felt like kissing a stone statue, and if I still wasn't holding the mug it probably would have dropped from his hands to the floor altogether. It wasn't more than a second, and no tongue—mind you it's past noon and no time for that stuff. The moment I eased the pressure even a little Cloud took a step backwards.

"What-" he practically spat.

I shrugged. "Just wanted to see if that had the same effect sober."

For a moment it looked like Cloud was going to beat the crap out of me, but instead he just looked away to avoid my eyes. "Did it?"

"Nope," I quickly lied and turned my back on him to hide how much the kiss had actually had an effect on me. Shit. The feel of his lips brought back yet again those sensations of the past night. How easy everything had felt then.

"Good." His answer was short. I turned and Cloud was still avoiding my gaze, even though I had the feeling that every time I wasn't looking at him the blue mako eyes were boring into my back.

"Yeah, so..." I pulled my loose hair together and tied them together into the almost trademarked ponytail I always wore. "I'm pretty sure my bosses won't appreciate this so if you don't mind, let's just part our own ways, eh? I mean, I've got some crap meeting scheduled tomorrow and if you're still here by then I'm going to have no option but to take you in."

Cloud’s expression didn’t change.

"...uh...into custody! To the Shinra tower," I way too apparently tried to save myself, making myself sink even deeper in the process. "I mean, I am going to be on company time then, so..." It was useless to try to explain things. "I’m sorry, I’ve never been good at these things. It’s not like I’ve never done this before, but usually it's just girls I bring here, and, you know, since we're sorta on other sides here, it's, um, a bit-"

"Awkward." Cloud finished.

I smiled. "Yeah. You're practically reading my mind already, what else do you know of me?" I had to bite my tongue to keep my nervous mouth shut for even a few minutes. "You do know I'm not usually this much of an ass." I almost felt like jumping out the window at that point.

Cloud took a sniff and a sip from the coffee mug. He did a good job in hiding the gag reflex, but I noticed it. Surely I hadn't made all  _ that _ bad coffee. "I should go." He placed the mug back on the counter and turned. He lingered there at the doorway a few seconds as if I was supposed to retaliate with something apparently smart but I was too busy biting my tongue and tasting blood.

I couldn't help but watch him turn the corner and back towards the bedroom. Damn, his ass looked good in my pants! At the thought, a very familiar warmth started growing in my crotch area. I had to turn away and stare out the window again, trying not to listen to Cloud searching for his clothing, undressing (another thought that didn't really help the heat) and redressing into them.

In just a matter of minutes I saw the next glimpse of him as he staggered towards the door. I hadn't noticed it before but his walking did look rather painful. Instantly my face flushed red and I hoped that Cloud wouldn't turn around to see me. He did pause at the door, hand on the handle. I probably didn't breathe there at all, like I was waiting for some major bomb to explode.

"Reno." Hearing my name spoken sent a jolt of jittery waves down my back. "Please stay out of Sephiroth's way and let me take care of him." The lock clicked open and Cloud pushed the door open. It was my last chance to say anything to him, anything at all.

"Sure, but I'm not the one calling the shots here, Spike." Cloud once again hesitated at the nickname but did step outside into the apartment hall. "By the way, say hi and apologize to the flower girl for me, she seems like a nice person, really." I tried to shout as a last farewell.

Cloud stopped dead. He turned enough for me to look straight into his eyes. They were icy cold with anger and something like sorrow. Shit, I almost cowered at the look, but luckily it didn't last long. The door was shut with such force behind him that this time I did jump at the loud bang.

"Sheesh, no need to be so jealous," I muttered, a bit hurt from the last look. I would have liked to watch him leave through the window, but that would be a bit too desperate, wouldn't it? Instead, my thoughts rushed to the start of a hard-on in my crotch. Fucking Cloud, did he really have to be so... so good looking? And the more I thought of him the more I kept on remembering the previous night and the more I thought about that the more I got aroused again.

I threw off my clothes and stepped into the shower. Even though I turned the water as cold as it would get it didn't help the slightest. I really didn't want to stoop so low, it seemed to me at the moment.  _ Shit _ . I hit the shower wall with my hand and leaned on it to gain some balance. My right hand had found its way to my throbbing member and wrapped itself around it.

As I started pumping I forced my thoughts on the first woman to come into my mind: Elena. I really didn't care anymore how desperate it must have been, but I had to get this over with. I closed my eyes and did my very best to imagine the rookie Turk giving me head, and for a moment it did work up until the moment when I was just about to unload. The Elena in my thoughts lifted her head to smirk at me but instead I was faced with mako-tinted blue eyes. Cloud.

"Reno..." the blond cooed and took me in his mouth whole. I had no time to change the scenario before I felt warm cum on my fingers and my body doing a quick spasm in delight.

Shit.

I slumped on my knees to the shower floor.  _ Now that's a bit embarrassing, Reno _ , a voice taunted in my head.  _ Can't make yourself cum without imagining the Strife-boy sucking you off? _

"Shut up!" I hit the wall again, this time almost sure I got at least a slight fracture in my hand. My face felt like it was so hot the cold water changed to steam when it hit it. I wanted to disappear into the drain with the water.

"Fucking Strife..."

 


	3. The Office

For once I was actually glad to be getting back to work at the Shinra tower, even if it was for a Sunday. Anything to escape my apartment and what had happened there few nights past. The previous day I'd pretty much been wallowing in a pit of embarrassment and hangover, so just the thought of seeing some familiar faces made me hurry past the main hall and to the elevators. Dosed with a fair amount of caffeine in my veins I couldn't help but whistle a tune as I waited for the elevator.

"Someone's cheery." A sturdy hand fell on my shoulder making me flinch. I recognized the voice immediately. Rude lingered next to me with that huge frame of his, probably doubling the mass I had. If he usually looked grim, he now looked like a chocobo had first shat on his suit and then brutally assaulted his glasses, something he was always very precise on. "I tried calling yesterday."

I really hadn't bothered to answer him at all, due to certain circumstances. "I had a hangover."

Rude shrugged, the silent type he was. "I was almost worried," his face gave no indication to the message he was saying, "I heard the hospital released you a day early. Thought that might have been a mistake. Apparently not if you were already drinking."

"Oh come on, the hospital was driving me crazy." I punched his shoulder in a friendly manner. "And nothing happened, I went home and slept late and survived the hangover." Luckily the elevator dinged at that moment, allowing me to change the topic. As Sundays weren't the most popular workdays, no one else accompanied us into the elevator and Rude punched the button for floor 60 and the long trip upstairs began.

"So, you heard anything what's up with the meeting?" The floors of the tower zipped past the glass walls of the elevator. "Tseng never mentioned anything to me, so…"

"The memo only stated an update to our current mission." I wasn't sure if Rude found it funny to state the obvious. "And Tseng's supposed to report of the events up north."

"What's the deal with that meteor, anyway?" I'd totally forgotten the wretched thing in the sky, ever looming over Midgar. "The news haven't really been all that informative about it and some cults claim it's divine wrath or other shit like that. You were in the airship, at least, so mind giving an old friend some insider info, eh? Scarlet still the same old skank?"

Rude looked away. "Is there any gossip you won't stay out of?" He looked surprisingly pensive.

"You know me; it's the only way to keep sane in this city." I couldn't help a grin, thinking of Scarlet in her oh-so-provocative dress.

Floor 30.

"Reno…" For a moment it felt like Rude wasn't going to continue. "Have you ever thought if what we’re doing is… wrong? That we're actually doing more harm than good for the planet?"

I just slightly tensed. Did Rude suspect anything? "So now you're all loving planet earth and hippy stuff like that? Bah!" I leaned on the elevator wall. "I'm just here to follow orders. The means or reasons are way beyond me. Earn your paycheck and don't think. See how far I've got with those tactics." I smirked; knowing that being second-in-command was something Rude was more or less bitter about. Still, I wanted for him to know I had his back. "But you know, if I had the choice, I'd rather have at least that Tifa live." A too obvious wink in Rude's direction.

He just turned his gaze to the screen with the floor numbers blinking. For all I cared, Rude could have the Tifa-girl all to himself. Quite honestly, ever since he had seen the girl he didn't have the same conviction in hitting on the girls in bars. It had been a nice game for us as long as I could remember; to see which one of us would get more phone numbers in a single evening.

The casual picking on each other was exactly what I needed, and the events of Friday-night slowly started to feel like a bad dream. It's a wonder what a sober mind can do to you. I'd probably be able to shrug everything off as it is.

Finally the elevator slowed and halted at floor 60. It was one of the only floors in the whole tower that had no other function but to serve as the Turks offices. Even so, none others than the highest executives knew that the Turks office resided there. To the outsider the floor looked only as a heavily guarded spot that separated the rest of the building from the more reclusive and guarded floors. It was sort of an irony that the Soldier-guards patrolling the floor were only a decoy for one of the most secret organizations within Shinra corp.

The actual door to our offices was bare, resembling more of a cleaning closet with an ID-card reader on the side. I nodded a hello to a few Soldier-guards patrolling there and swiped my employee card by the reader. The familiar beep rang to signal we were accepted into the inner corridors. You could tell that we were completely secluded from the other part of the whole building; there wasn't a single security camera in the premises. Some things were better left inside these walls.

Of course officially the Department of Administrative Research had its head office on the upper floors, but only for Heidegger. What was left of us was moved around behind the scenes like a secret lover. The Shinra company's own, personal lapdogs. Hell, we even had our own elevator leading to the higher floors just to avoid contact with the rest of the personnel.

Tseng was the one who had his own office, and even I had to share mine with Rude and Elena, even though there was more than plenty empty rooms on the floor. They were mostly used for "interrogation" or some secret meetings with the executives. During the worst of times there was a constant stench of dried blood coming from at least one of the interrogation rooms, and Tseng would snidely remark to me that they needed cleaning. I'd, of course, delegate the job forwards to Rude or Elena.

Sometimes I really hoped the President would at least trust a few janitors to do the job, but no. I at least did my best not to spill any unnecessary blood but Rude... well, he didn't care. Apparently it didn't bother him that I got the ass-whipping from it afterwards.

We followed the sweet smell of fresh coffee to our shared office. Elena must have already been there early, promptly attempting to score some points from Tseng with the coffee. She was still young, but she had the dedication a new Turk recruit always had in the first years working. A bit clumsy, though, on some parts, and she seemed to have an apt to mimic Tseng's behavior almost to the tee if she wanted it. It drove me crazy. There's only room for one Tseng in the Turks.

Just as expected, opening the door to our cramped office, Elena was standing next to the coffee machine and pouring herself a cup. "You're late," she remarked. Rude eagerly went straight to the coffee.

"You were early." I slumped into my chair, the rickety thing giving a groan as if to warn of its last breaths. "And I see no Tseng here."

Elena wrinkled her little nose. "Just for your information, he's in a meeting with Heidegger. They've been at it for an hour already. I told him you two are probably just late, as usual."

Meh, I'm not punctual but I do my job well. Elena's look was that annoying mixture of spite and glee that she had been here early to earn praise from Tseng. She was such a kiss-ass. "Elena, you talk way too much. And if you really want Tseng's attention, try growing a pair of double-D's instead of those things you have." I pointed in her breasts' direction.

Elena went bright red. "Reno, that's so unprofessional! Sexual harassment!" She glanced at Rude for support but the big guy was only chuckling to himself, enjoying the situation.

I grinned. It was so easy to get Elena so flustered about Tseng. She'd had a crush on him for as long as I remember, but never dared to act upon it. But she was right, I'd need to hurry. Just when I'd gotten myself so comfortably seated in the chair. "File a report," I tried mimicking Tseng's most used words and reached to one of the locked drawers on my desk. Just like the doors, a flash of my ID-card was enough to unlock it and get my electro-mag-rod, blessed little thing.

"So, Elena, what've you heard of the circumstances lately?" Rude tried changing the subject.

"Ever since you guys came back from the glacier, nothing." She put a finger to her forehead and frowned. "There was something, though. I think I heard Reeve speaking Thursday about the Ancient, Ms. Gainsborough. Or repeating rumors, more like that. They say she's died. Tseng's been really devastated about the whole thing, no wonder. I mean, he just recovered from his wounds and now this… I really think he had a soft spot for her."

I didn't really listen any more. Good thing I was already sitting in the chair, otherwise my legs would have given way. I got a flashback from yesterday. The glare Cloud had given me before leaving. He'd always seemed so protective of the girl in a caring way. And if she was dead then… Oh crap, I'd cheerfully told him to say hi to her, no wonder he got so upset. Shit, how tactless could I be?

"Reno?" Rude's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I was still dumbstruck by the news that it took me a few seconds to react. Sure, she'd been cute, but... wasn't she supposed to be the one Shinra needed? To find the Promised Land. What was going to happen now? And what I'd understood the Promised Land was what Shinra could use to stop Sephiroth. Had the meteor appeared the same time she had… Was this... really the end? Then I remembered a phrase Cloud had told me yesterday:  _ Stay out of Sephiroth's way and let me take care of him. _ Did he have some kind of plan despite all this?

I came back to reality. "Yeah it's just a… real surprise. Assuming you have the right info, Elena."

"Well no one's confirmed this but if you consider Tseng's aberrant behavior. I'm not that stupid, I can make my own assumptions." Elena sighed. "It's a pity, in a way. She seemed nice."

"Oh come on, don't tell me you were all gooey-eyed over her?" I snapped, not meaning to, though. Right now I just wouldn't want to be reminded of yesterday.

"Don't tell me you don't think you owed them anything after they helped save me!" Elena's lips went into that cute pout she so frequently showed nowadays. Then, realizing I had actually insulted her—in a way—she added: "I think  _ you _ had a thing for her."

"Hey, I'm the one who saved your ass in Wutai; don't go blaming Strife and his company for it. Just shut up for a moment and let me think."

"Not so cheery anymore," Rude muttered from behind the coffee mug. I gave him a glare and threw a pencil at his direction.

It took Tseng still 30 minutes to finish the meeting with Heidegger, after which he solemnly entered our office. Quite conveniently, at the moment I had my legs stretched on my desk and twirling my 'mag-rod carelessly over my head. He scoffed at my posture as Elena quickly straightened her own to greet him with a sharp "Sir."

"Reno, get up." Tseng's order pierced the air. This wasn't something I could question. Tseng's face was that spectacular example of someone who'd had a foot-long stick up their ass for the past week. The serious Tseng. The no bullshit Tseng. He just nodded for us to follow and just as quickly turned on his heels and back to the hall. Elena was right behind him while I had to stumble past the table and take a few hurried steps to keep in pace with them.

Tseng's office was in such an annoying pristine condition, almost twice the size of ours. Personally, I didn't understand Tseng's obsession in this 'feng shui,' but every time I was there it seemed I moved a chair an inch in the wrong direction or maybe I just stood always in a 'negative space' that made Tseng scowl at me. And then he wondered why I didn't like being there. I swear everything in that room was dripping with Tseng's perfectionist essence.

Tseng walked behind his desk in seven large strides (and it was seven each and every fucking time) and sat himself behind it. He crossed his hands under his chin and made a small nod of a gesture for the rest of us to sit down. My focus was on the perfect piles of files and paper on one side while a small bonsai rested on the other. How did he do it, keep things in such order? Elena and Rude immediately seated themselves, but I rather closed the door and kept leaning on it, not daring to take a step in the wrong direction.

The click of the door closing was the cue for Elena to speak up: "Is it true, sir, that the Ancient has died?"

Poor girl, she didn't know when to keep quiet. Not that I'm the best to criticize, but I can mostly keep my tongue in check. Elena… she hadn't learned that yet. I'd known Tseng long enough to notice the microsecond of sorrow that passed his face.

He had always been somewhat close to the Ancient, having had the duty to follow her moves ever since she'd been a child. More than a few times I'd seen him show emotions like affection whenever she had been brought up in discussion. At that moment I knew it was true. Tseng's face rarely betrayed him. Surprisingly fast, though, he gathered himself and leaned forward.

"What I'm about to tell you three is highly sensitive information, and I expect none of it to leave these walls." Tseng's gaze went back and forth between me and Elena, making sure we understood every word. Even Elena looked away from his eyes. Almost instinctively I was about to reply with some smart-ass comment but luckily realized in time this wouldn't be the place for it.

When Tseng had discerned we were all listening he looked at Elena for her answer: "Yes. We're not clear of the circumstances considering her death, but what intelligence I've managed to gather from the inhabitants of Bone Village in the north, that is the case."

"How 'bout you just skip to the part with the glacier and that meteor looming in the sky?" Sometimes Tseng had to be sped up. Unfortunately, neither Rude nor Elena had the guts to do so. "This is unusual for us to be called here like this so you might just as well get to the point." I didn't mean to be audacious, but this was how me and Tseng interacted, how we always had.

Tseng almost smiled at my abrupt comment. In the end he knew he couldn't change me and my personality, no matter how much he'd tried. "I can't disclose everything, but what's important for you three to know is that Sephiroth is behind this. Rufus believed he had found the Promised Land near the glaciers, but there were a few complications on the way…"

"Was it Cloud?" Elena interrupted again and the mention of the blonde's name made my whole body tense for a second.

Tseng gave her a condescending yet warm look before continuing. "The meteor and recent Weapon attacks are Sephiroth's doing. The Weapons Development Department is currently researching for solutions so you should not trouble yourselves with that issue."

"So you're saying that we should leave our lives in the hands of that bitch?" I swear Elena rolled her eyes at my words even though I couldn't see her face.

"Watch your tongue, Reno," Tseng snapped. "You might not like her, but she is still your superior, like I am, too." He closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. My constant interruptions drove him as crazy as Tseng's perfectionism drove me. "We managed to capture two of AVALANCHE's members, who are currently in our custody." By the way Rude grasped the chair's handle one of them must have been Tifa. "We did, however, lose contact with Cloud Strife, and his current location is unknown to us. Professor Hojo has requested we bring the man to him once apprehended."

My mind had gone blank. A gush of cold sweat surfaced on my back. I thought I'd had enough of these surprises for one day. "What do you mean, lost contact?" I couldn't even hide the slight panic in my voice.

"Sephiroth has secluded himself with an impenetrable shield and, presumably, Cloud Strife is locked in there with him. Since there's at least a slim chance that he could have escaped, we need to still assume he is alive. These people are, after all, terrorists and a threat to the company." Tseng paused at my pale face. "Reno, is everything okay?" The change in his voice to concern made even Rude and Elena turn to look at me.

I was probably just going crazy. Mako poisoning or something of that sorts. Maybe the stress of this job was finally getting to me. If Cloud was trapped in the north with Sephiroth,  _ who _ had been in my apartment? Those black-robed clones, or whatever, resembling Sephiroth's image, could this have been one of them or… something else? But…I was sure it had been Cloud. I'd bet my goggles on it.

"No, I'm not… I don't feel good," I managed to let out of my mouth. Tseng kept his eyes on me trying to figure what on earth was going through my head.

"Reno, can I have a word with you?" He rose abruptly and took the seven strides to me, grabbing my arm and forced me out into the hall. Elena and Rude were left in Tseng's office, totally baffled by the scene.

Tseng walked me around a corner; I probably couldn't have made the journey myself if it wasn't for his iron grip. He pushed me against the wall and gave me a hard slap on my cheek. The pain fast-forwarded my thoughts. I couldn't even lift an arm to hold my sore skin since Tseng held my shoulder still against the wall.

"Shit, Tseng!" I winced and turned my face away.

"Get a grip, your subordinates are in that room and you're like you saw a ghost. What's wrong? Were they wrong at the hospital to release you already?"

"No, it's nothing!" An instant reply just to make sure Tseng got I was lying. "I, I just had one of those nightmare things last night. Sleep paralysis, you know? Scary as hell." I waited patiently as Tseng studied my face for what seemed like an hour.

"If you have some problems with our orders, you're free to file a report. Of course, I'll have to forward it to Rufus himself…"

If something, Rufus Shinra was scarier than Tseng could ever be. "No! I'm just… honestly, Tseng, this whole situation… I haven't really wrapped my mind around it, yet. I’m barely out of the hospital and you’re giving all this information. I'm not quite yet in work orientation." Maybe if I stopped talking for a moment he wouldn't think I was lying—that much.

Finally Tseng sighed and eased the grip on my shoulder. "Go home, you're in no mental state to be at work."

"No, I'm fine, Tseng, just give me a minute."

"I don't care what nightmares you've been having, but this behavior is not acceptable here, you know that. Go home, and I expect you to be here tomorrow 7am sharp."

Of course he'd give me the rest of the day off with the expense of tomorrow morning, typical Tseng. But that wasn't one of my concerns at the moment. I wanted to get shit-faced drunk. Tseng leaned back and finally released his grip. Immediately my knees buckled and he had to grab my arm again. He even had to walk me through the halls and to the elevators.

"Of course, I can't give you the full pay for today, Reno," he muttered calmly while waiting for the elevator.

"Oh, come on, at least I showed up." The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

Before Tseng pushed me into it, he paused and looked me straight in the eye. "Gather yourself; I can't have my second in charge getting spooked by some stupid dreams. The company—  _ I _ need you to be at your best. Things aren't getting any easier from here forth."

"I know, I'm sorry," I muttered right before the doors closed and the age-long trip to the reception began. What a way to start the day.  



	4. Cloud

"Hey, buddy, you all right?"

The sound seemed faint at first, but it slowly strengthened into a dizzy whirlwind in his head. He didn't want to open his eyes in fear of seeing the whole world around him spin. He wanted to disappear and forget all of this. Someone was speaking. Someone familiar? No… it was no one.

_ Leave me alone… _

"Come on, you can't sleep here!"

Someone was poking his shoulder. A prickling sensation.  _ Stop it… _ Had he moved his hand? The poking ended. Where was this? He tried opening his eyes; the sunlight hurt too much.

"Am I gonna have to call the police?"

_ No, not them. Just let me… _

He forced his eyes open. Sunlight… it hurt so bad. Was this a familiar face? The bright red hair and—  _ No, your mind's playing tricks again. _ This was no one he knew, that was sure. Just someone, a passer-by.

"Do you live here?"

_ Do I live where? _

The someone took his arm and lifted him up. The dizziness was so intense, but even though he tried keeping his eyes open and look at his surroundings. He had a feeling he'd been here before, but when and where? He couldn’t quite figure it, everything was spinning. It was like the first time in the lifestream… No, this is not it.

A… parking lot? There were cars. Something about the buildings, like this was home. Just apartment buildings, one after another, though he couldn't see that far in the blinding sunlight It was someone’s home. The scent of the air brought back memories. Smoke and air polluted by all the traffic. And a train somewhere.

_ You know this place, think! _

It was where everything had started. When he'd seen her. The name, her name, was lost; he couldn't grasp it. He tried forming the name but all that came out was strange gurgling. She had to be somewhere near, but it felt so far away. He remembered her, and at the same time he didn't. Is she gone?

_ When is this? _

He tried taking a step but stumbled. Someone else was talking far away. Shouting? No, speaking. It sounded like whispers.

"Hey come and help! This guy needs the hospital!"

Steps… why did they sound so overwhelming? He knew them. If only he could remember when and where he'd heard them before.

"Call the ambulance!"

_ No don't, I'm fine. I'll remember… _

The steps stopped so abruptly.

"The hell're  _ you _ doing here?" The voice was surprisingly clear. He recognized it!

_ You… _

"You know this one?"

_ Yes, I know him. He's… what's his name? _

"Y-yeah. I can take care of him, don't you worry…"

The person kneeled next to him, shading him from the sunlight. Finally it seemed he could look. Not the red hair again.

_ Why is my head so dizzy? _

He saw the face, something that felt both safe and comforting. He was lifted up but was barely able to walk. No, he couldn't stay here. He'd heard it; she was calling. Who…? He didn't even understand where he was taken. Stairs?

"I swear, this is the last time I'm doing a favor for you, Strife."

_ Strife… I'm Cloud. But you are… _

"Re…no?"

 


	5. Chapter 5

As if I wasn't already pissed with the fact that Tseng had so blatantly sent me home after just two hours at the Shinra tower, I'd run out of cigarettes, missed the train and had some slum kids nearly mug me, had it not been for my Turk reflexes. Sure, letting off some steam on the teenagers did help my mood, but only slightly. It was more the events of the past few days that bothered me. And not only that, but my own actions.

Just think, I could have been the hero of Shinra, bringing them Cloud Strife himself. Oh, but no, I'd just had to let him once again walk out the door and disappear. And I hated the little voice in my head that every now and then reminded how I'd actually  _ enjoyed _ the blond's company. How I'd shudder just at his touch, how his little grin was so enticing, how I'd totally been swept away by his pretty sky-blue eyes...

_ Clonck! _

My thoughts were interrupted by my face banging into a lamp post. Great, I couldn't even focus enough to watch where I was going. The swears that escaped my lips made a few passers-by frown at my direction. I felt my nose but, luckily, there was no blood. Right, this was pretty much the last straw. To hell with Tseng and tomorrow morning, and to hell with my idiotic mind and its recollections of one spiky-haired blond. I'd just go to the Honeybee Inn and spend the rest of my money on booze and hookers.

Still rubbing my nose I turned the corner on the block to finally see my crap-shack of an apartment building. The parking lot was full of cars, pretty obvious for a Sunday. I wasn't even surprised to see the building's janitor kneeling down near the front door. 

He was a funny fellow, nearing his 70's and so in love with the damn building that he'd patrol around even during the weekends, just in case something was out of order. Sometimes I think he'd have it easier just retiring but gods forbid even then he’d probably skulk around. Not that I could complain, though, since in general there wasn't much wrong with the building except, well, age. Personally, I think the thing's been one of the first constructions in whole Midgar, that's how old it seemed. Yes, the plumbing and heating worked but during the nights I could swear the whole building sometimes groaned, just waiting for the moment it could give up entirely.

The old janitor (no, I'd never bothered to remember his name) was shouting something, I didn't really care what. "Call the ambulance!" or something like that. Yeah, someone just probably had been stabbed, wouldn't be the first time.

But that's when I actually did see who was there, huddled near the wall. Of all the people I'd want to see right now, this had to be him. My mind didn't even have the time to really process the sight before it spoke.

"The hell're  _ you _ doing here?"

No, this couldn't be him. Not in that condition... He was pretty much slouched in a fetal position, trembling like a lone leaf during fall. I almost felt sorry for the poor blond, but before anything the Turk in me took over. No, this couldn't be Cloud Strife. It was... impossible. Everything I'd heard from Tseng, and if this was him, what's the deal with his condition. Yesterday he'd pretty much been fine if not for a hangover. Then I remembered those robed people. Clones, experiments, or whatever they were. As strange as it was, they’d been spotted around the globe, especially near Nibleheim. Rumor was they were some kind of failed test subjects of the madman Hojo. This had to be one of them.

The old man janitor was questioning if I knew him. "Y-yeah. I can take care of him, don't you worry..." I absentmindedly told him. I wasn't sure if this Cloud look-alike could be able to walk or not. At least he seemed to be shielding his eyes. I kneeled down and put his arm around my shoulder to lift him up. I'd felt that same weight on my arms before, I was sure of it. Just as quickly I tried to remind myself that there was no possibility this could be the real Cloud.

The janitor was kind enough to open the door and I part dragged, part helped 'Cloud' up the stairs. Slowly he was starting to take small steps, even though he mostly stumbled on them. "I swear, this is the last time I'm doing a favor for you,  _ Strife _ ," I muttered, already thinking of ways to get this being to talk. If this was some fucked-up plan of Sephiroth's to play mind games on Shinra, he wouldn't have that chance anymore.

The more that I thought of it, the more irritated I became. I almost felt like kicking some sense into the barely conscious body I was more or less dragging up the stairs. The way to my floor seemed like eternity; dragging a nearly limp body with you is no easy task. By the time I'd reached my door, Cloud—or whoever this was—was clinging to my arm like it was the last thing keeping him alive.

"Re…no."

It was faint, and I barely even heard him, but I do recognize my own name. The first coherent thing I'd heard him say. I had to pause, the keys in my hand. It sounded so much like… _ him. _ What was I even doing? No, just get him conscious, and then get an answer to all this confusing shit.

Once again, I felt way too sober for the situation. Not that I'd like to be drunk and in the same situation; we all knew where that would lead to again. The door's lock clicked open and I tried to push it open while still supporting most of Cloud's weight. Surprisingly, though, his hand grasped the door frame and he somehow managed to pull himself up—a bit. I didn't mean to glance at him, but I sure could have done without it.

His eyes, so damn burning, were staring at me like someone trying to remember a person. He didn't even blink. And, just a second later, his eyes clouded and he slumped down towards the floor had I not grabbed him. Even I staggered, having this time to hold his whole weight. His head bobbed against my chest I could barely pull him inside and shut the door. With just as much discomfort I got him to my couch, right next to the kitchen on the left.

Looking at him, I had no idea what in burning hell should I do. In the back of my head the annoying voice told me that this was him, no doubt. I swear, as corny and cliché as it was, he looked so relaxed and peaceful, I had to wonder what was it that had overcome him. His hair was a worse mess than usual, but otherwise his face didn't sport the frequent frown I was used to seeing in him.

_ Explain how he just traveled thousands of miles here in a few days. _

It couldn't be him, and yet here he was: Cloud. Staring at that face, I couldn't be angry anymore. I didn't even question his presence. I’d just carried him up here; it couldn't be me just imagining things. I wasn't even the kind to believe in some divine force, but maybe… Maybe there were some higher powers involved here. Maybe this was supposed to happen...

_ Don't be an ass, Reno! _

I found my eyes trailing across his body. What harm would it do? He was unconscious. I wasn't sure if to call him beautiful or handsome, either way, I couldn't take my eyes off him. Even totally relaxed, the tips of his lips were curved slightly downwards in a constant pout. Cute, almost. His face was just perfect, so much that I almost felt jealous for him.

I knew too well what was under his clothes. Every. Single. Detail. Even if I tried, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. And what did I do? I just stood there like an idiot staring at him. I was sure this was Cloud Strife, I just knew it somewhere in... my heart?

"Don't let it fool you," I muttered partly out loud. "This could be whatever crazy magic for all you know." I wasn't sure I believed that myself, either, and saying it aloud didn't make it any more true.

My gaze traveled down his neck where I'd left a mark a few days past. The slight curve of his shoulders, and his lean yet muscular body... I yearned to step forward and touch it. Oh, I knew too well what was hidden underneath his clothes. Sure, if this was a girl I'd so take advantage of her unconscious state and feel all over that body, but... I couldn't move, like I was afraid it was just some hallucination and he would disappear the moment I reached out.

The more I watched, the more I found myself wanting him, and the more I wanted him the more blood was gushing into the totally wrong places. And I sure as hell had to have that optimistic thought that maybe in some crazy way he would feel the same and—

My phone rang and the vibration in my pocket nearly made me jump. Great timing. Of course it was Rude, no doubt calling to demand what had happened between me and Tseng earlier.

"Yo, wadup, Rude?" I tried to sound as normal as I could, still keeping my eyes on the unconscious blond in case he decided to wake up.

"What lies did you tell Tseng to get the day off?" Rude was clearly pissed.

"Nothing! He's the one who forced me to leave. Thought I wasn't in the right state of mind or something..." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, thinking of Tseng and his bossy nature.

"About that, you  _ were _ kinda spooked from all the information..."

"Listen, I haven't slept well, okay? And don't you go telling Elena anything of this, 'cause I'll—" Cloud stirred. "Hey, Rude, call you back, I gotta go."

"Don't you hang up on—"

I didn't hear the rest of his sentence as I ended the call and stuffed the phone back in my pocket. Cloud had muttered something incoherent and put a hand to his forehead. He tried to get up from the couch but either he was too weak or his head was spinning too much that he just fell back.

"Where...?" Finally a word I could understand.

_ Now, Reno, act cool, professional. _

"Midgar," I rather bluntly replied.

Cloud attempted again to get up, this time succeeding but accompanied with a painful groan. "How did I..." he looked confused around. "Reno?"

"I think I should be the one asking that question, Strife. How the hell did you get here?" He still bore that confused look on his pretty face.

He looked around the room, his eyes pausing a second longer on the bed. "I don't... know. I remember… being at the crater. Then you and I,  we..." He frowned.

"Don't try to feign any memory loss. And if you try anything funny, I've got Soldier on speed-dial and they'll be here in a matter of minutes." I had no idea where that outrageous lie had come from. I was so intently waiting for some sort of sign from him that I barely even breathed. "Anyway, I thought I'd question you first before taking you to Shinra..."

"Reno, please..." A horde of butterflies charged into my stomach at the words. I had to turn away. From the corner of my eye I saw him trying to get up. Cloud managed to stand up but almost immediately his knees buckled and he nearly fell onto the floor. I didn't mean to react but yet again my reflexes were faster. I caught him just before he could hurt himself. His hands grasped my arms hard. I could hear his heavy breathing against my chest.

He pulled me closer to him. "H-hold me, please." His arms were around me in some sort of desperate embrace.

My face probably went bright red and I could feel a part of me unwillingly stiffen from the words. What was I supposed to do or say? Did he have some sort of amnesia or something else? I tried to lean back so he wouldn't notice the hardening member in my groin but Cloud had some strong arms for his size. It surely wasn't hidden from him anymore.

I wasn't sure if I was frozen from shock or surprise from his actions. I just stood there, letting him squeeze me and trying to fight back the humiliation from my body's reaction to it.

"I need you," he whispered, just barely audible.

And that's when I lost it. So what if this wasn't Cloud, or if he was delirious from whatever, but my hard-on wouldn't ease itself on its own. Maybe if we... maybe if doing it sober would give me proof that this was what I really wanted—or not. From that moment on it was like I didn't even control my own actions.

I lifted his head and looked into those eyes. "I don’t think you’re okay, are you?"

The answer he gave me was in the form of a raised eyebrow and a tiny smirk.His reaction was, I admit, a bit scary. With Turk-like reflexes he spun me around and flung me on the couch. For a moment I thought he had just diverted my attention and now would make his escape, but instead the next second he was on top of me, pinning me to the cushions.

I thought he'd say something, but there he was, silent, and staring blankly into my eyes. I was still sort of shocked from the sudden movement that I couldn't do anything except look him back. His knee was pushing painfully into my groin, and it was hard not to groan. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

Cloud's hand pushed against my chest so that I barely managed to gasp for air. His eyes scanning my face and the other hand slowly running through my hair. I got chills from it. I still dared not to make a movement, knowing very well that if he wanted, Cloud could easily knock me out. The hand from my hair caressed my cheeks, then my neck and down to my collar bones. I shuddered. If I hadn’t already been so pissed at myself for once falling for him, the situation might have been arousing and exciting.

He leaned forward, his knee still digging into my now painful erection. His face was just above mine, and I could hear him whisper words that I'd honestly been dreading: "I know what you want..." His hand continued to travel downwards on my chest, pausing at the belt of my pants.

"N-no, you're wrong, I— nngh!" Cloud's hand had finally found my crotch and given a slight squeeze. I tried to squirm free but his other hand was still keeping me pressed down on the couch. Slowly he began sliding down the zipper, so slowly that I barely could handle it.

"You're not... you can't be..." I tried again to form a reasonable sentence. He was acting so differently from when we’d last seen, this definitely couldn’t be Cloud. Surely?

"I know what you want," Cloud just repeated, the same look in his eyes. By now he'd released my full erection from my pants. I was still gasping for air from beneath his arm.

Finally he eased his grip on my chest and I could breathe normally. Before I could move away or do anything else he'd slipped down to his knees on the floor and taken my whole member into his mouth.

Everything went white. I probably said something ridiculous but had no idea what. He kept his mouth still until I had calmed down a bit. Then, excruciatingly slowly he pulled his head back, his tongue running down the side of my cock and right up to the tip. He did the whole movement again, just as slowly. I desperately tried to move my hips to increase the speed but yet again his hand was pressing me down making it impossible.

I didn’t really want to be in this situation, but at the same time I couldn’t help but go on with it. He was… It felt simply too good. It would have been too painful to just stop it here. I couldn’t think clearly, and my only hope was to get this over as quickly as possible.

He continued, and I was blinded by the ecstatic feel of his warm, moist mouth taking me in over and over again. Dip, suck, pull, and repeat. I would've gladly been able to vocalize my feelings but the only thing coming out my mouth were miserable whimpers and gasps. His pace was killing me slowly, and I needed him to hasten it.

I grasped the couch cushions so tight my knuckles were white. I tried my best to voice out a plea for Cloud to speed up but I was mute with every bob of his head over my throbbing member. Somehow my other hand managed to trail to his blond hair, grasped it and yanked his head up. His eyes were still on me, boring into my skull.

"You..." I was still gasping from the utter bliss I'd been given. "Do it... proper." Words were surprisingly hard to form.

Cloud's mouth was partly open, my hand pulling his head back and stretching his neck. Had I looked straight at him I probably would have come on the spot. Instead, I kept my eyes closed and just hoped he understood the message. Just a few seconds later I could feel his mouth around me yet again. This time the tempo was faster.

"Cloud, I-" I was on the brink. "I'm going to— don't stop, I-" I wanted him to go faster, take me in deeper. My hips lurched forward, no longer regarding the pressure his hand was giving them, and I could remotely feel Cloud nearly gag at it. I quickly found his pace and each time his head leaned towards me I bucked my hips to for him to get a full taste of me.

"Cloud..." I managed to form his name. This encouraged him to speed up even more, now moaning into my erection. It was too much, the second time he pulled up I couldn't hold it in anymore. My whole body spasmed and I released my load only partly into Cloud's mouth. The rest of it went either on his cheek or just dropped to the floor.

I was breathing heavily even minutes afterwards; I couldn't form any sentences, and was still suffering the orgasm running through my body. I had no idea if he even was in the room still, or what a mess I must have looked like. Shit, this seemed more like a dream than reality. Still, I didn't just get head from an imaginary Cloud Strife, so…

"Hey, Strife," I cooed and finally lifted my gaze to check on him. This had to end. 

I didn't expect what I saw: Cloud was huddled on the floor holding his head, face looking pained. Immediately I jumped from my position on the couch to the floor and tried putting a hand over him.

"You okay, Cloud?" I didn't know what else to say. These kinds of things weren't really my expertise. Suddenly I was almost afraid to touch him, not sure what would really do any good. "Hey, I'm sorry if I did something…"

"It…. hurts," he said between anguished gasps. "I can… hear him…"

"Who? What’s going on?” If this was Cloud, something was clearly wrong. “Um... is there anything I can do to help? Aspirin?"

_ Yeah, offer aspirin for someone who's probably hearing voice, or worse. _

Seriously, this was not the time to start freaking out. Cloud was starting to tremble and mutter those same words. "Hey, Cloud. Cloud! Now you're scaring me." I tried shaking him a bit but he flinched at my touch.

"I have to go back," he was muttering.

_ Where, Cloud? What are you saying? _

I shook him again, trying to get even some sort of response. This time he froze. "I- I'm sorry. Okay, you know, it's better we just forget about this, right?"

I didn't have time to say anything more. Cloud turned and glared at me the way he usually did when we'd met. Ice cold eyes. This wasn't him, that look wasn't him. I pulled my hand away and backed slightly. Cloud was faster, grabbing an empty beer bottle from the floor and lunged towards me.

I somehow dodged his swing but doing so fell on my back. He was right behind me, and I desperately tried shielding my head, at least, from a coming blow. The last thing I remember was thinking that maybe I should have kept my guard better. Then the bottle crashed on my head and darkness overcame me.

 


	6. The Tunnels

Midgar was in chaos. It had been for the past few days, ever since the attack on Shinra tower. The moment Tseng had heard Rufus was ordering the firing of the Sister Ray he had ordered me, Rude and Elena to make sure the President had additional escape routes if things went really south. They had. But just like the Turks we are, we were there to carry the barely alive Rufus Shinra to safety. No matter how much I'd personally wanted to leave that asshole of a president to burn in his own building, those were the orders.

I'd known there was something between Tseng and Rufus for a while already before this, ever since Sephiroth had finished off the rich-brat-Rufus' old man. Tseng had suddenly taken more interest in the new President's welfare and frequently would accompany Rufus in some super-classified meetings involving only the two of them. In the past weeks it was pretty obvious the only person Tseng had to take orders from was the President himself. Heidegger, on the other hand, had always been a total ass, in my opinion. The only unfortunate part of this turn of events was that we still were to pretend to be under his orders.

Not that we could honestly do much in the disorder of the city, while Soldier desperately tried to keep up peace and stop all the rioting. After helicoptering the President to Kalm, we'd been immediately ordered to return to Midgar and report back to Heidegger. Tseng had, however, stayed behind.

I don't really remember much of that day anymore, like everything had passed in a blur of heat, fire and the cries of civilians. No one knew what had actually happened, but even though, all connection between the upper disc and the slums had been closed, as were most of the roads away from the city itself. I had no idea what the Soldier chiefs were planning, but after Heidegger's orders had only been "Keep the scum away from the plates!" I personally didn’t have much enthusiasm to follow them. Most likely he viewed me as scum as well.

Elena, of course, had tried her best to stay collected, but both Rude and I saw the attack on the city had taken its toll on her. She had been overly concerned about saving the citizens, desperately trying to show people evacuation routes and trying to save them from collapsed buildings. Nearly twelve hours straight she worked, until me and Rude had to pry her away and back to the remains of the Shinra tower to rest. Finally, there she collapsed and cried for an hour before falling asleep.

Rude had somewhat followed Elena's example, but in his own collected way. We'd had a short discussion of whether or not to help with the chaos, but in the end Midgar was our city, too. I'd hate to see it destroyed, even thought someone like Heidegger, Scarlet, or even Rufus Shinra would discard it so easily.

Even now not much had changed; Soldier maintained order and people were still panicking. After the lower stories of the tower had been deemed safe to inhabit—for the time—Heidegger, Scarlet and Reeve had set up a temporary base in one of the many conference rooms still in decent condition. Everyone knew it was just a desperate attempt to save the company, and meanwhile we were waiting for Tseng to contact us. Two days and nothing, like he'd left us in Heidegger's care.

The three of us hadn't had much time to relax, what with the evacuations and public safety issues we had to deal with. So when I'd got the call that Heidegger wanted to see us, we knew things wouldn't get any easier. As urgent as the call had sounded, we were still left waiting at the empty Shinra tower’s lobby 

Elena had immediately slouched on a bench. She didn't clearly wasn't used to such tenuous physical labor as Rude or me. "Why can't this just be over with?" she sighed. "I don't think I can take another day in this chaos."

I'd lit a cigarette, knowing very well that for once not a single guard would bother to instruct me to go outside. "This is over. For the company, at least." I blew the smoke out and watched it float to the ceiling high above. It was surprisingly quiet; most of the workers had evacuated just like any sane person would.

"Well what are we doing here, then? No one's here to fire us, and even the President-"

"Stop being such a wuss, Elena! Tseng said to report to Heidegger. You're a Turk, not a rookie anymore, so act like one." As much as I hated Heidegger, he was the only boss we had around, and even though I knew the company would fall in a few short days, it did comfort me to know someone was in charge of my actions. Maybe that's what being a Turk gets you…

"If nothing else, we have a duty for this company," Rude finished. "You knew what you signed up for…" He gave me a concerned glance, and it was nice to know I wasn't the only one worrying about Elena's state of mind.

"I know, but—"

A door behind the reception area opened and Scarlet emerged with Heidegger and Reeve, escorted by a couple of Soldier guards. Out of habit I immediately straightened up my posture when they came closer. Reeve looked more or less uncomfortable with the guards, and I couldn't help but wonder what had happened between the three of them. Heidegger was his usual fat self, scowling at my face whenever he addressed me.

"Reno, we have a problem." Even though he didn't speak loudly, his bellowing voice echoed in the hall.

"Sir?"

"Cloud and his… friends are arriving to the city in a matter of hours. I need you three to find and dispose of them. After that, I want you to locate professor Hojo and take him into custody. We believe Strife’s plan is to assassinate the professor, and you must reach them before they are able to reach him." Heidegger gave a sideways look at Reeve, who just turned his gaze away. "The professor should be found in the reactor control room."

"Yes, sir." I'd managed for the past weeks not to think of Cloud altogether, so this wasn't really the best time to hear he was coming right in the middle of the chaos and disorder.

Heidegger coughed encouragingly and kept his eyes on Reeve. It took a nudge from Scarlet to finally get the man to talk. "They'll be most likely coming from the slum sewers and the railway tracks." His words seemed exceptionally forced, making me wonder even more.

"You heard it, now get going!" Scarlet's annoying voice rang in the hall as she turned and led the way for the rest of them up the stairs to the second floor.

Once they were surely out of hearing range I couldn't help but mimic her voice: "Now get going…" I pretty much spat the words out. It was actually nice to see Elena smile even a little, considering the circumstances.

None of us looked very enthusiastic to go out into the streets, but what else could we do? It felt weird knowing Cloud was coming back to the city. The last time I'd seen him was, well… when he'd ended up knocking me unconscious in some sort of psychotic state. If that even had been him, I wasn't sure anymore. For the first days afterwards I'd been so pissed at myself that I'd overworked so much that Tseng had to question if I'd hit my head for being so involved in filing reports and whatnot. I never gave him a good answer and he finally stopped asking.

By the end of the week I'd even spent double the amount of gil in the Honeybee Inn than I usually did in a whole month, and it had sort of helped with my feelings. Secretly I'd hoped I didn't need to encounter the blond man again, but that was just silly. Our agendas seemed to be too much in sync and he’d show up at the same places way too often.

When I finally forgot to think for a moment I nodded towards the door. "You heard him, we've got a job to do."

**

I wasn't particularly claustrophobic, but the train tunnels scared me. Even with the emergency lights shining well enough to light the whole tunnel, there was always a feeling in the back of my neck that some sort of beast would jump lurking right when I turned my head. Rude knew my discomfort, and had no pity to not tease me about it, occasionally poking me in the back when my head was turned. Each and every time I either flinched or startled, and Rude would just chuckle at my reaction.

"Are you sure this time we'll find them?" Elena had kept on talking part to herself and part to us the whole time we'd been in the tunnels. "I mean, just killing them seems pretty harsh…"

"That's been our orders from the start," Rude stated.

"Yeah, nothing's changed, except that I'm pretty much the only one who's had a beating here…" I remembered the first time getting the chance to test Cloud's strength in battle—something that had gone horribly wrong on my behalf.

"Oh, you mean payback time?" Elena skipped forwards a couple of steps. She made a few martial arts poses in front of us. "I'm ready!"

I rolled my eyes at her; how she sometimes seemed so young, almost like a child. "You're underestimating them. Don't think of them as any other thug we've encountered." I walked past her and gave her a light shove to throw off her balance. "Come on, we don't have time for games."

Honestly, I was everything for games. Elena was right; I didn't want to really kill Cloud. I probably couldn't make myself do it. That was made clear for me a while ago. If you asked me straight on, I probably wouldn't admit it, but I just wanted to see he was okay. Considering that last time he went from being nearly catatonic into…

I had to stop the thought when I felt my face start to heat up.  _ No, just don't think of it. You just want to talk with him, Reno. _ Please, I couldn't possibly start having of those thoughts now, of all the occasions. The eeriness of the empty tunnels did just that. A loud groan sounded from the darkness ahead that made my heart jump to my throat.

This could very well be the last time I saw him. Ever. Was I going to tell Rude or Elena to really kill them. Maybe just rough them up, but not something so… permanent. Or maybe if I showed them some mercy and let them go this once, he might see that I'm a real person here under all the Turk apparel. Maybe then he-

_ Maybe then what? _

Yeah, then what? What the hell was I assuming would happen? That I had a chance with him? There were so many things wrong about it, even if not counting the fact I work for the Turks and Shinra. I cursed under my breath for letting those thoughts invade my mind again.  _ Just wait until, or if, you find them. _

Rude stopped abruptly and grabbed my shoulder to stop as well. Elena was a few yards in front of us, having not noticed Rude stopping. I tried hissing to get her attention and get her to pause. Nope, no use. She walked still forwards through the curving tunnel and just a few seconds later we could hear her shouting.

"Aha! Found them!"

Rude and I exchanged looks clearly stating 'She never learns,' before realizing we didn't have the advantage of surprise anymore. I'd say that if something, this was more or less embarrassing having to put up with her behavior. We could have at least made even a bit more striking entrance. And it always has to be Elena to screw things up. Not only that, I could still hear her blabbering on even when we didn't quite see her yet.

"Aww… but what are we going to do? I really don't think I'm up to this, sorry…" Walking up the turn in the tunnel we finally saw Elena just a few yards away, having her gun pointed at the always as eccentric group.

The dark-skinned Barret Wallace had his own gun-arm aimed at Elena, with Tifa Lockhart, Rude's secret crush, right next to him poised and ready to attack. But the person I really was anticipating, Cloud, was only leaning against his buster sword and eyeing the situation. When Rude and I emerged for them to see, our eyes locked for a single moment, after which Cloud turned back to Elena. Maybe I imagined it, but it seemed like he had noticed something familiar. I couldn't tell in the dim lighting.

"Reno… I don't think we should be following the orders right now…" Elena finally glanced behind to see my extremely annoyed expression.

"Elena, don't act so weak," I scolded her, just to keep up appearances. "It's one-on-one here."

"After all, we're Turks," Rude once again finished for me.

Elena looked down, finally realizing her mess-up. "But I… Yes, you're right."

"What are you doing here?!" Barret roared, making the whole tunnel echo. He swapped his aim from me, Rude and back to Elena. "We don't have time for this!"

Rude cracked his knuckles. "We've got work to do," he hinted with a slight grin. It was sometimes scary how he got so worked up about fighting others.

"Our orders were to locate you and… kill." Like always, Elena went on blurting everything about our orders.

"You can't!" Tifa yelled back, almost springing towards us if not for a strong, sudden grip of Cloud's hand on her arm. "Cloud…"

Elena, in turn, looked for me for the next instructions. Honestly, right now I couldn't have cared less. "I don't know… I'm not really that much up to it." Shrugging this off wouldn't help. I could see Rude look at me questioningly.

"Reno, you said it yourself: even if the company's in whatever turmoil, we're the ones to follow orders to the end." Elena just wouldn't stop. "That's what being a Turk is all about!"

Just like Rude and Elena were looking at me for the next move, Tifa and Barret glanced at Cloud, who still hadn't said a word. I'd noted he hadn't looked in my direction once after the first time we'd emerged. Just when he was about to say something I had to interrupt with yet again a genius idea.

"Hey, Strife. Let me talk to you, in private, and I'll let you three go unharmed."

"What?" Elena breathed in confusion.

"Cloud, you can't! You don't know what he's going to do…" Tifa told the blond.

Cloud still didn't say anything. His cold blue eyes were on me nearly making me shiver. "I mean, even if we do end up brawling, it must be a huge waste of resources, yours and mine. And not to speak of the time. I understand you're in a hurry…?"

Cloud finally shifted his weight but still didn't say anything.

Elena couldn't believe what I was saying. "Reno, what…?"

"Sh, I have a plan," I tried muttering so they wouldn't hear. Then, turning back to him I took off my gun and electro-mag rod attached to my belt and gave them to Elena. "See, unarmed. I just want to talk, man to man."

I could feel Cloud's gaze on me, trying to figure if this was really some kind of plan or was I really sincere. He leaned and whispered something into Tifa's ear before handing the enormous sword to her. Tifa nodded and turned to repeat the same info to Barret.

"Reno, what is this?" Rude demanded.

"I've got a plan, don't worry," I was surprised at how convincing I sounded. "But yo, no fighting here, okay? I'm serious, Elena." She was clearly disturbed by the contradicting orders she was under at the moment, but I couldn't care less.

Cloud following me, we backtracked our way about a hundred feet away from the rest of our lackeys. I made sure we were far enough to be out of eyesight before turning to Cloud and letting out a small sigh to see he seemed, at least on the outside, to be in one piece. The relief quickly turned into a thousand butterflies trying to escape my stomach. Suddenly I realized I had no idea what to say.

"What's this about?" Cloud's eyes stared into me, hard. As much as I wanted to talk things over with him, he sure didn't look like he had the time.

"Hey, I just wanted to know things are okay… between us, you know." I tried to lean on the tunnel wall casually even though my heart seemed to beat right through my throat. A big question mark appeared on Cloud's face. "About what happened… earlier."

For what seemed like ages he just stared at me with that same bewildered expression, and I even began to think I'd imagined all that had happened. Then, a quick look of recognition flashed across his face and he turned his gaze away. "That… I wasn't myself," he paused, "and I think we should forget about it." He was again avoiding my eyes.

I leaned forwards and took a step towards him. "Well, maybe…" My legs could barely hold me up straight. I'd been dreading to say the next words, and found it hard to let them really escape my lips. But, in the end, what had I to lose at this point? "Maybe I don't want to forget." I took a firm but gentle hold of his arm.

An array of emotions went through his face, everything from confusion to disgust to disbelief. He was clearly trying to mouth something, but could only shake his head slightly. His usual frown had taken a firm hold of his face. "Reno, no. I can't explain it, but it wasn't me…then. Let me go."

He turned to go but I wouldn't let go of his arm. Instead, I pulled him back and took a hold of his other arm and immediately he tensed. "No. Just listen, please, Cloud." Now that I'd got started I better go on through with it. "I'm sorry it has to be now, of all the times, but I'm afraid I won't get the chance to say this afterwards."

Was it fear in his eyes? "Don't say it." I barely heard his whisper.

"I don't want you to get hurt, okay? And maybe… after all this we could go out for a drink, eh? To celebrate or…something." Cloud's glare was enough to prove that he'd pretty much heard enough. "Sorry, I'm just not good with words, and…" I made a quick glance to make sure no one could see us. "Oh, fuck it…"

I leaned forwards, closed my eyes and pressed my lips onto his. I knew this was one of the worst ideas ever, and probably the almost inevitable end of the world was messing with my head, but the thought of this being the last time to see the man was enough to make me act like a real love-struck idiot. And hey, if it came to it, I wouldn't have to see him anymore. Sure, I'd be in hell with Heidegger, Tseng or Rufus, or even all of them, but otherwise, what was there to lose?

The first few seconds Cloud was tense as ever, but then a miracle happened and he relaxed just enough to let my tongue in. At the same time it was like an abundance of fireworks had exploded all around my body. The tips of my fingers and toes just tingled; my legs nearly gave way; there was this gushing sensation of intense heat running up and down my spine.

Cloud's kisses were for the beginning a bit clumsy, perhaps from the element of my surprise. Even though, he was responding to my kiss. For a moment I forgot where we were; instead, we were back in my apartment, just the two of us. I wanted to hold on to him forever, never let him go so it would just be us together. It must have been no more than a few seconds, but to me it felt like so much longer.

What actually brought me back to reality wasn't the rancid stench of the tunnel or the moist air chilling my neck, but rather Cloud himself, pulling away from the deep kiss and suddenly pushing me away. I tried to hold on to him as long as I could, but it only resulted in him shoving me away onto the wall.

"No, this is wrong, Reno," he just said, wiping his mouth and yet again glaring at me. "You… I can't." He turned to leave.

"Hey, what's this about?" My voice rose probably a bit too loud. Why would he just push me away like that? I thought it was obvious how he felt, especially by the way he'd just been kissing me.

"Stop doing this to me, okay?" Cloud tried to hold back his… Irritation? Anger? "Stop whatever you're trying here. It can't happen. Not then, not now, not tomorrow. Never. I have more important things to do now than… whatever it is you want."

I'd never really seen him angry, but this must have been it. Especially his last word hit me hard. Why would he say something so harsh if he didn't mean it? Instead of getting hurt, I let the same kind of anger arise. "Me? What I'm doing? You're the one who's so messed up in your head you can't decide if you want this or not. If it's that hard, just go fuck yourself, whatever! Go save the world for all I care and become the hero. Fucking wannabe Soldier trash…"

I thought he'd come and punch me in the face by the way he looked, but he just took a deep breath and scowled at me, that familiar frown back on his face. Slowly he shook his head and turned to walk away back to the rest of his party. I was dumbstruck from what I'd personally said and what he'd really done there.

_ Sheesh, Strife, what the hell's wrong with you? _

Still, the last word he'd said had had an effect on me. ' _ Never,' _ he'd said. Only now that I was left alone and my sudden burst of anger had calmed, there was a feeling of something clenching my chest. Hurt. I slumped against the tunnel wall and bit my lip to prevent any tears from even starting to form. I had my dignity. If he could just like that denounce everything, so could I. It's not like anything had ever been serious.

_ Fucking, fucking asshole of a Strife…. _

I breathed in, only to notice that my breath faltered dangerously. I tried telling myself not to care of Cloud's words, but despite that my eyes were getting teary. At the same time I heard footsteps coming my way, and judging by the sound of them it was Rude and Elena. My Turk pride kicked in and I bit my lip so hard that it began to bleed in order to squeeze back the forming tears.

"Shit!" I muttered as I held a hand to my lip.

"Reno!" Already I was starting to get a headache from Elena's voice. "What did you do? Cloud came back looking like really angry and all. Rude wanted to know what happened but they just left quickly. You okay?" She kneeled next to me.

"I'm fine." I spat some of the blood from my mouth. Yeah, I was pissed, hurt and unbelievably confused, but otherwise I was fine.

Rude smirked at the blood. "He got you, didn't he?" He offered a hand to pull me up.

"No, and stop saying that or I'll have to knock you down." In truth, I was no match for Rude in a one-on-one fist fight.

Elena actually snorted at that point. "Ha! He really did beat you up, did he? Oh my god, Reno, this is so embarrassing…"

Rude was trying to help me stand, thinking I'd actually been overpowered by Cloud. I nudged him off and punched Elena on her arm a bit harder than intended. She cringed in pain, moved my arm's length away but still kept grinning at me. She exchanged a look with Rude before continuing her mocking. To what was some kind of comfort, she was still rubbing her arm where I'd hit her.

"I know, Reno, you tried to be all gallant and save us from a beating but looks like your plan really backfired…"

Rude had been so generous to position himself between us so I couldn't possibly retaliate. I glared at him. "Dude, don't you start with the same," I warned.

He did an exceptionally good expression of mock surprise. "Me? Oh, no. I'm just glad I'm not the one having to report this to Heidegger."

"Shut up!"

 


	7. Chapter 7

Even though the "Proud Clod" had had its weaknesses, the fight had not been easy. He had been distracted most of it. It had been a surprise how he seemed to have trouble dodging even the most basic attacks of the mechanical beast. Luckily, it seemed that Tifa and Barret were so focused in the heat of the battle they hadn't noticed. Even now, looking at the burning wreck he could still feel his lips tingle and the pit of his stomach twitching into small knots.

He hated the feeling. It had been present from the moment he'd seen the familiar group of Turks, or rather one particular one. Cloud didn't have an explanation to his reaction of the red-haired Turk. Yes, he had the memories, but as much as he'd watched himself do the things he'd done, he kept on telling himself it wasn't him. And that was the truth.

After Tifa had helped him recover his mind, his true identity, everything else had seemed like a bad dream and something he could eventually forget. He now knew who he was and who he would become. He'd never been a puppet like Sephiroth had claimed, but rather a prisoner of his own mind. At first it had felt liberating to really know himself for the first time in a long while, but then certain memories started to come back.

Not just all the things he'd done around Sephiroth, but everything that had taken place in Midgar afterwards. As much as he'd hoped they were just bad dreams, Cloud finally had to admit things had happened he couldn't take back. He hadn't told anyone, not even Tifa or Nanaki, who he'd learned to respect more than probably anyone else in their odd group.

It was simply because he was too embarrassed. Embarrassed of the memories and the feelings he'd had. They were too good to be acceptable. Not that he was disgusted of the idea of having sex with another man, but rather that he had been so out of control, like someone entirely different had been moving him around. Cloud was certain he would never really act like that. He wasn't the kind. He understood who he was, and this real Cloud wasn't like that.

So where had things ended up, then? Of course he knew the Turks were on their heels, and surely they would have caught up to him eventually. Back in the railway tunnel he'd noticed Reno's eyes lock on to him immediately. They had known more than Cloud was ready to admit. He'd felt a shiver go down his spine and couldn't make himself look back.

It hadn't been the real him in the Turk's apartment. That's what he kept on repeating in his mind. When Reno had asked to talk with him privately, Cloud had seriously considered the option of fighting them, knowing very well the three Turks wouldn't be much of an obstacle. It was like the one moment when he relaxed and let his guard down that other person in him handed his sword to Tifa and told her to wait there.

_ This is not me, _ he kept on repeating to himself, while his intestines seemed to be doing cartwheels and somersaults. He didn't like that feeling. It was too distracting. They had bigger issues to deal with than some sudden thrill of childlike infatuation. Not that he even would call it that, even though all the signs were there.

_ This isn't me. _

He remembered too well everything that had happened, and every movement Reno had made. Even though in some sense he knew it was absurd, but Cloud was angry for not having any control over himself. In some part of his mind he hoped the red-head would only suggest some kind of truce between the two parties, so when he had started going on about how things should be okay between the two of them…

Cloud didn't want to hear of it. Reno was a walking reminder of everything he had no control over. The part inside him that had given Sephiroth the black materia. He didn't want to be reminded of it. If only Reno would stay away and leave him alone, things would surely become easier. Cloud could go on living the life he should have a long time ago.

And yet, when Reno had said those words and taken a hold of his arm… There had been an entire waterfall of emotions going down his whole body at the Turk's touch. They were so unexpected and sudden that Cloud actually got scared. Even though he'd found out what tricks his own mind had played on him, he had no intentions of hurting himself anymore. That was the road he saw ahead of him in Reno.

_ That person wasn't me… _

He'd been nearly paralyzed with the fear of losing control. Back then, a few weeks ago, in his memories Cloud recognized himself, but like he had been watching everything from afar. He wasn't going to let that happen again. The moment Reno had leaned forwards and pressed his lips against Cloud's was what he'd really been dreading. It even took Cloud a few seconds to even realize he'd relaxed enough to respond to the kiss.

_ This isn't me. _

His body felt so warm and safe during those few moments. There was another person who would hold him close and— No, he couldn't, this wasn't him. The fear of losing control turned into panic and anger. If he could as easily give into sudden spurs, how on earth could he face Sephiroth again? He didn't need these distractions right now.

"Cloud?" Tifa's hand came on his shoulder. "Are you coming?" She watched Cloud, still looking at the soon-to-be burning ruins of Scarlet's anti-Weapon artillery. The bitter scent of burning fuel drifted in the air. "We had no choice, it was them or us."

Cloud only nodded, still deep in his own thoughts.

"Cait Sith is waiting, he knows where Hojo is, and Vincent wants to come along. We have to go on, Cloud."

She was right, there was no time to dwell on superficial matters. Turning his back to the pile of melting metal Cloud wished this would soon be the last he had to hear of the Shinra Electric Power Company, and especially of the Turks. Stopping Sephiroth was—and always had been—their number one priority, and it shouldn't change, no matter what the circumstances. He had a planet to save.

 


	8. The Party

For the past weeks Kalm had turned out to be the new headquarters of what used to be the Turks. I suspected Tseng had either bribed or threatened the poor innkeeper into closing the doors for anyone else except authorized personnel to stay there. Those included us, the Turks, and Rufus Shinra with his personal doctors. A few times I'd even seen Reeve Tuesti, the only executive of Shinra who had actually survived through all this shit. Actually I didn't mind at all; for once it was nice to have some space and the softest bed I'd ever slept in.

Of course, officially we were still on Rufus' payroll, as Tseng put it. I had enough respect towards the Wutaian that I thought I'd play along with the plan—for now. At least there was some steady income. Seems that even though the company had fallen, the Shinra family had wealth hidden all over the world. Even so, Tseng forbid us from seeing Rufus in his current state, and he'd be the one giving us our pay.

So much for the Investigative Division of General Affairs; all the Turks were now was Rufus Shinra's bodyguards. It was only the following day after the destruction of Midgar that Tseng had given us the speech on keeping Rufus safe. He'd been very precise in that Tseng-like manner that "as long as Rufus Shinra is alive we are obligated to keep him safe. If he's to jump off a building, we're the ones to catch him, and if he says  _ we _ jump off a building, that's what we're going to do." Elena had been ogling Tseng the whole time like he'd been the one to save the planet.

Rude had been smart enough to keep quiet, but I'd just had to mutter "we'll see about that," loud enough for Tseng to hear. He'd quickly snapped back something about me being free to try and find any other job, for which I had no choice but to take my words back. But, as I already said, after a few weeks I couldn't complain. Our days consisted mainly of hanging out in the inn's lobby and occasionally checking ID's of people requesting to see Rufus.

It did feel good to have at least three people I could consider my family, since otherwise I really didn't have a place to go to. I could trust my life with any one of them, even Tseng, despite the fact that I was so annoyed with his unearthly concern for Rufus' welfare. Hopefully things would never come to that, but you never know what Rufus was planning. Speaking of which, I found it extremely odd that Reeve had already visited the former president twice in the past month. Call it a Turk hunch, but in my opinion the only thing you could get out of Rufus these days was money. And for what purpose would Reeve have to come begging from his former employer?

Rude and Elena weren't as concerned as I was, even though I knew it was none of my business. After all, no harm would come of it since Tseng would always supervise any meeting with the recovering President Shinra. I knew what Tuesti had been doing behind the backs of the other executives; I'd had my suspicions for a while, but once he'd ordered the entire evacuation of Midgar due to certain circumstances it was pretty obvious. He'd known too much.

Why I hadn't told my suspicions to anyone, I really don't know. No, I just didn't want to admit it; I probably hadn't wanted Cloud and his group get caught that easily. In hindsight maybe it would have been better and I'd have avoided a lot of crap on my side. It didn't matter anymore. At first I'd been so pissed at Cloud, his behavior and everything he'd said, but honestly, there hadn't been much time to stay angry. There had been so much to do, so many sectors to evacuate. And when the evacuations and barely escaping the meteor’s collision had all been over, we were back in Kalm and I was so tired I nearly slept 24 hours straight.

Things slowed down after that. We had to stay in town to watch over Rufus. The first few days Tseng had given us some time off that the three of us just happened to spend mostly drinking to get over everything that had happened. Honestly, it had been really refreshing to spend some free time with my co-workers, getting ourselves so wasted we'd never remember all that had happened the previous night. By day three Tseng realized it hadn't been a smart move, judging by the looks I was getting while clinging to my very life in the pits of a bad hangover. Still, it was a cleansing three days for my mind, being able to forget the events of the past months.

It was half-way into March that Reeve arrived for his third visit. It was one of those annoying spring days that outwards looked warm but still had the ability to chill you to the bone. Some nights even snow still fell only to melt right away in the sun. Personally, I hated this time of the year. I always catch the flu, no matter how hard I try to avoid it.

Wednesday, right after lunch, the time when I usually took a well-earned siesta with a stomach full of the innkeeper's wife's delicious cooking. I usually would insist Elena keep watch during this time, but today she'd been adamant that I at least try to stay awake. The inn’s reception area was limited, with only a small desk, a few chairs and a couch for possible customers to sit on. The couch was old, but extremely comfortable and very difficult to stay awake on. Each time I dozed off Elena would poke me in the ribs with my very own electro-mag rod, making me jump wide awake at the slight shock it gave me.

"Cut it off already…" the fifth time was enough for me and I turned my side so my back would be take the rest of the damage. Elena was hovering over the couch, the rod in her hand and frowning at me.

"Tseng said Reeve would be arriving today, so you need to be sharp when he comes."

"It's not like he's gonna come right after lunch," I had to pause for a yawn. "Why's he even coming?"

"None of your business, Reno," Rude commented from a nearby chair, lifting his gaze from the mobile phone he was texting with. Apparently finishing the message and sending it, he finally put it back into his pocket. "You got anything planned for Friday?"

"Hm? Anything better than keeping an eye on Mr. high-and-mighty? Nope. Why?"

I didn't miss the look Elena and Rude exchanged before she leaned over the couch and continued for Rude. "We just might have gotten the weekend off," she flashed a grin, "and Rude knows this party and we could be going there…"

I raised an eyebrow. "A party?" At that same time Rude's phone made a beep and he surprisingly fast took it out and checked for the received text. He made a small smile and was about to put the phone back. I was way faster, jumping up from the couch and snagging the phone from his hand.

"Hey!" Rude only managed to shout before I was far behind Elena in safety.

"You've been texting someone the whole time we've been here! It's about time I found out who…"

Rude gave Elena a pleading look, and at first I thought she'd stay out of our quarrel, but just as fast as I'd been she took the phone from my hand. "It's Tifa," she answered shortly.

"Eh?  _ The _ Tifa? But how..? When did you-? Rude, what's she saying?"

"It's true, you know…" Elena continued and tossed the phone back to Rude. "Remember the last time we saw them? In the railway tunnel?"

_ How could I forget? _

"Well when you were… carrying out that plan of yours, Rude was such a playboy he got Tifa's number. I never thought he'd get it but he seems to be quite the charmer."

I was gaping at Rude, who looked surprisingly uncomfortable. "You never told me! Why didn't you tell me?"

Rude sighed. "You were really upset about whatever happened, I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore…"

I didn't have any smart answer to that. How could I, considering what  _ had _ happened. And anyway, my mind was still trying to comprehend the whole concept of Rude having Tifa's number. I'd always known he had a stupid crush on the girl, but I could never imagine him really talking to her. "But how'd you…?"

"So you want to learn from the best, eh?" For a moment Rude's embarrassment disappeared when he managed to get back at me.

"No! I'm just shocked you wouldn't tell me? I thought we told each other everything? We’re like brothers!" I partly mocked the disappointment in my voice. I actually was kind of hurt by the fact that even Elena knew something about Rude that I didn't.

"Well anyway," Elena continued with a tone of voice that hinted of a catch in what she was going to say, "this Friday there's going to be a get-together, Vincent, Yuffie and Cid are coming, and we're also invited. I'm actually honored, considering everything we've done, but I guess it's partly thanks to Rude we got the invite. Well, that and not being so hostile with them in the end."

"But, but…" Have I ever mentioned I didn't like being speechless? "What about Tseng? Does he know? He couldn't possibly approve…"

"It's not like we're enemies anymore. Even Reeve's been coming here to talk with Rufus, so things can't be that bad," Elena shrugged. "I think it would be a good time to reconcile with Cloud, you know. I still have no idea what you told him, and you haven't been talking about it at all…" Rude went back to answering the text. "Tell her we're all coming!"

"No, I'm not—" I tried saying but a cough from the reception desk interrupted my protest. Elena regained surprisingly fast her posture to greet the dark-complexioned man with a familiar looking suit.

Reeve Tuesti had an amused look on his face; most likely he'd been there a while listening to our conversation. I scoffed at his face, attempting to seem at the least bit professional. "They're upstairs waiting."

Reeve nodded and continued to the stairs, where he paused. "Reno, you should really come, Friday." He turned and gave me a genuine smile. "It would be good for us all to bury the hatchet and start anew."

"I'm sure everyone wants to see you," Elena added as Reeve disappeared into the upper floor.

I wasn't so sure about that. I knew at least one person who I definitely didn't want to see, and most likely he felt the same way. I knew now that Elena had seen my reluctance, I'd have no choice but to go with them on Friday. She'd probably get Rude to knock me unconscious and then carry me there if needed. But then again, maybe it might not be that bad, especially if I got to see Rude try hitting it on with Tifa.  _ And _ I could just stay with Elena the whole evening and not have to talk to anyone else.

But hey, if there would be free booze, why not go? I was pretty sure I wouldn't do anything stupid as long as Elena or Rude was there. Damn them for leaving me the last time, look where it had got me… Whatever, if Cloud didn't want anything to do with me, I might as well not have anything to do with him, either.

_ Shit _ , I nearly cursed aloud to stop myself thinking of him. It had been nearly two months since the last time I'd seen him. Still, occasionally when I found myself thinking of the blond, there was that disturbing feeling of something clenching my chest. Well, it didn't help me at all, knowing that I'd let myself be too hopeful and weak in such a matter. That for a little moment I'd forgotten all about reason and common sense and letting some stupid emotions lead the way.

"So, Reno, you think you'll come?" Rude asked after letting me think about it for a while.

"Yeah, whatever." I settled back on the comfortable couch. "If nothing else, let me be your wingman, eh? Now can I have my nap in peace?" It was useless to ask, since Elena would wake me five times from my slumber in the next hour. She just wouldn't let me enjoy a moment to myself, no matter what.

**

I'd forgotten how long it actually took to drive from Kalm to Midgar, or what was left of it. Most of the time I'd flown the Shinra helicopters back and forth, being able to cover the ground in less than an hour, but with the antique car Rude was driving the trip would last at least twice the time. Elena and Rude had so conveniently left out the part where exactly this “party” was taking place.

Many of the city's former citizens had immediately started to rebuild new settlements by the side of the destroyed megalopolis. Edge, they called it. Fitting name considering its location. The few chopper flights I'd made over ruins had actually made me admire the will and stamina of the people. Surprisingly fast they'd constructed a small shack-village that grew in the time of a month to resemble small houses. But that was a long way to go for us to reach it. Halfway through the trip you could still see smoke rising from the ruins of Midgar from the old mako reactors.

"Are we there yet?" I checked my watch to see we'd been driving for an hour and a half already. It would probably surprise you to know that of all the possible vehicles in the world the car was the only one I got motion sickness in. Especially in a tiny car with practically no air-conditioning whatsoever.

Rude glanced at me in the back seat through the rear-view mirror. "Don't be a child."

"At least open a window, please. I'm gonna be sick if this trip goes on for much longer…"

"And that has nothing to do with fact that you've chugged down four beers already?" Elena turned around in the seat in front of me.

"Of course not." The familiar sound of my fifth beer can opening made her roll her eyes at me.

"You're impossible! Anyway, I think we should be there soon…"

Elena was a big liar. It took us nearly another hour to finally get to the Edge-settlement. I was surprised at how much like a town it did look like. Humans could be so productive in just a matter of months. Even though it was nearing 6pm, many people were still going on with building the houses. I had to wonder did they keep at it all throughout the night.

Rude parked the car a few hundred feet away from the actual town in the flat area I'd used as my helicopter's landing pad before. It felt funny walking amidst the people, some of which recognized us as the ones helping out with Midgar's evacuation. Being a Turk I'd got used to the idea that I was invisible to the people, or if they did notice, I'd get called Shinra trash or other not so flattering names. People were actually smiling at us.

Elena was walking a few steps ahead of us, clearly knowing where to go. She'd changed from the usual Turk uniform into a simple pale blue t-shirt and a black miniskirt that I partly hoped would reveal a bit too much during the course of the coming evening. She had a dark blue hoodie on top of the shirt, and her hair was pulled up in the tiniest ponytail. Rude and I hadn't bothered to change clothes, mostly due to the fact that I, at least, didn't have anything else than the ones the company had given us.

Since most of the buildings still didn't have much of their façade painted, and looked all the same, I was unsure how Elena would know where we were headed. Well, that was before we turned a corner to a side street and there was no doubt which house it was. The roaring laughter of Barret and Cid Highwind erupted from the next building on our right. Elena immediately pranced up to the open door and entered, leaving Rude and I to follow on ourselves.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I was surprised when we stepped inside. It was a bar, and somewhere in my mind I recalled from some reports that Tifa had previously owned her own bar in Sector 7. The decor was a random assembly of various furniture with no apparent cohesion, but I guess nothing better was available. What did spike my attention was the full cabinets of liquor behind the counter and beside them Tifa Lockheart herself, already pouring Elena her first drink.

Seeing that we'd entered, Tifa smiled and waved. "Welcome to the new and improved Seventh Heaven! Reno, Elena said you almost didn't come."

I was sort of caught off guard by this sudden familiarity, and I even noticed Rude slightly tense. I nudged him slightly to go on ahead of me to join Elena and Tifa. I took a quick glance around the room to see if Cloud was anywhere before following him. Luckily, no. Cid and Barret were by a corner table, drinks in hand and clearly having enjoyed a good amount of them already. Every now and then they would burst out laughing, each one trying to out-laugh the other.

Vincent Valentine, the former Turk I'd heard a fair amount about, was at the other end of the counter with Yuffie Kisaragi and—who I assumed was Barret's child Marlene—a girl no older than five or six years. What I heard of their discussion, Yuffie was desperately trying to get Vincent to juggle some materia for the girl. The man, however, seemed flustered from her attempts and tried declining politely. It was funny to see Cait Sith in Marlene's arms being pulled around like some sort of plushie. I didn't understand why Reeve would let an expensive robot like that in the hands of a little girl.

Speaking of the man, he made his entrance at that point. He patted my shoulder warmly and gave a matching smile with the goatee of his. "Good to see you here, Reno." I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that a few months ago we would have been at each other's throats.

"Uh… yeah. Not like I had much of a choice."

Reeve beckoned for me to follow to the bar counter where two pints of beer were waiting for us. He took a sip before turning back to me. "You know, I don't think I've thanked you yet."

"For what?"

"You let them go. Cloud, Tifa and Barret, in Midgar during the whole ordeal. I felt so bad about having to tell you where they were coming from, but with Heidegger and Scarlet, I had no choice, bless their souls."

I snorted, nearly spewing the gulp of beer I'd just taken. "Ha! Scarlet was a ho and Heidegger never knew to keep his mouth shut; they're not worth any blessings or memories."

Reeve sighed. "You're always like that, are you?"

"Like what?"

"A badmouth!" Tifa leaned from the other side of the counter. I tried my best not to stare at her breasts that were practically lying on the tabletop. “So, how have you been, Reno?”

I frowned. “You’re asking me? Even though I was pretty much a thorn in your side all the time?”

She leaned even closer. “I really do think you’re a good person. Thank you, for stepping aside back then. I really appreciated it, we all did.”

“Why is everybody thanking me? I don’t think I deserve that.” I felt awkward. There were no reasons for anyone of Cloud’s crew to thank me, or the Turks. I’m pretty sure I did much more damage than good. Even the genuine smile on Tifa’s face didn’t make me feel any better.

“You know, Reno, I’ve been here the whole time people have been building Edge. They say you helped with the evacuation of Midgar. Most of them wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

I shrugged and turned away. “Whatever you say…”

Tifa clearly took the hint and turned her attention to my former colleague. "Hey, Reeve, where's Cloud?"

"He wanted to visit her church with Nanaki. Said he wouldn't be long, though."

They then went into a discussion of the bar's interior and possible designs for it. I wasn't at all interested, so the next person I could turn to was Elena. She was sitting on one of the bar stools in a way that her skirt revealed the better part of her thigh. I didn’t want to let myself be discouraged by the out of line thank you’s, so there was one way I could get some entertainment tonight.

"Should you be showing off that much of yourself here, what do you think Tseng would like of it?" I poked at Elena’s slit.

"Reno, be nice! I can have fun if I want to. I did ask Tseng if he wanted to come, too, but he said someone should stay and watch Rufus. I don't get it, it's like he fears Rufus' condition will worsen the moment he steps out of that inn… What's up with them, anyway?"

"I don't know and I don't want to know, Elena. For all I care they could be banging there all day." I laughed slightly at my own thought of Tseng and Rufus doing it.

"Eww… Reno, disgusting! You're drunk already." Elena was truly shocked at the idea, however. "You can't talk like that of your bosses."

"Sure I can; it's off-duty time," I probably grinned stupidly before chugging down the beer left in my glass. Maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all.

**

It took a few hours for everyone to get worked up from the alcohol, but by then I'd pretty much forgotten any awkwardness that had been present when we'd arrived. I'd actually seen things I almost wish I could unsee. That is, an incredibly even arm wrestling match between Barret and Rude, Yuffie continuously trying to grope Tifa and Elena (now  _ that _ was something I sure am going to remember the rest of my life), and yours truly having a dance-off against Rude and Cid. I’m not going to go into details on how things ended that way, but it sure wasn't one of the highlights of my life.

Cloud and the four-legged Nanaki had arrived an hour later, but I hadn't bothered to even try to make eye contact with him. Cloud was the same, and even though I occasionally sneaked a few glimpses at him he never even looked in my direction. The more I got drunk the more I kept glancing in his direction, and the more I saw him having fun - even smiling - with Tifa the more I wanted to drink.

He still wore the Soldier outfit, with all the padded armor removed. I was trying to be nonchalant when looking in his direction, but most of the times I had to remind myself to look somewhere else instead. It really annoyed me that he had such a good time here, even though I was sitting half a room away.

Of course there had been food, and, mind you, it was the best I've had in a long while. Or maybe I was so wasted it felt like the best food ever. All those different kinds of party snacks from mini hotdogs and hamburgers to candied apples. I'd stuffed myself full of the hamburgers, not caring if any was left for the rest of them. It was actually in the middle of me chewing down the sixth hamburger that Rude interrupted me with that sturdy hand of his on my shoulder. I nearly choked on the mouthful.

"Reno, let's go upstairs, I've something to tell you."

"Don't you dare confess your love to me!" I managed to sputter between coughs of the hamburger bun.

Rude snorted and took such a hold of my shoulder that I had no option but to follow. I hadn't that much been aware of how drunk I was until now. Had it not been for Rude, I probably wouldn't have made it up the stairs in the first place. He shoved me into the first door on the right once on the second floor into a room looking most like some kind of living room slash bedroom. There were a few armchairs and a sofa in the middle, a wardrobe to the left and in the back corner a simple one-person bed. And of course there was Tifa and Cloud.

"Oh, no, no..." I'd stumbled from Rude's push but surprisingly quickly acquired my balance back and tried to spin around to rush out of the room. Rude just slammed the door shut almost in my face.

"Reno…" Tifa began. She was one of the only ones who hadn't had almost anything to drink that night. She nudged Cloud. "I know you two don't really get along, but I think now would be a good time for you to sort things out between you."

"Tifa, no, this isn't a good idea-" Cloud began but was quickly hushed by her. He crossed his arms in response.

"I think we're going to have to do some teamwork to fix this planet and town, so you two better get along, too!"

"I agree," Rude chimed. He opened the door just to let Tifa out. "And don't you dare start fighting and wake up Marlene."

"And don't come out until you've kissed and made up!" Tifa's voice rang just before Rude closed the door behind them, leaving me and Cloud in the room alone. I could hear them snickering to each other on the other side.

There was the longest, most awkward silence I've ever been in. It was really hard for me to stand up, and it seemed whatever way I stood the floor was swaying back and forth. I remembered the last time I'd been this drunk and with Cloud in the same room, and for that specific reason I dared not move. It was Cloud who finally broke the silence.

"She's right." There was another long pause as I waited for whatever he was going to say next. "I… I'm sorry. For what I said."

This time I wasn't going to let my guard down so easily. "You should really decide on an opinion and stick with it." Why was my voice sounding so bitter? "I don't have anything to say to you."

"I think I just panicked. It wasn't fair towards you…"

"Oh, don't patronize me." Just like that, irritation had taken over and I felt much more sober.

"I'm not-" Luckily Cloud noticed in time his rising tone of voice and stopped in time. He took a step towards me. I was still standing like an idiot in the same place. "Tifa and Reeve have been all over me telling that we’re going to need your help moving forward. She said I should apologize. I did, didn’t I? I don’t want to think anymore of what’s done and in the past.”

“Me neither.” Finally, something we could agree on. “But you have to admit, it was a bit cold, what you said. Ever thought of what I felt like? First you’re into it, then not. Would you please choose your side? Or just admit you’re just fucking toying with me.”

He took another step towards me, now almost in arm's length. I'd seen that glare in his mako-eyes before. "Reno, would you shut up for a moment."

"Make me," I taunted back. I knew what he was going to do. Tell some crap about his past that should somehow make everything he's said okay. It wouldn't, or at least I wanted to believe that. I didn't know what my drunken brain would make of the situation anymore. But what he did, I definitely wasn't expecting.

It was one quick step and I thought he'd smack me this time for sure, but instead the very same second his lips were on mine. I nearly stumbled backwards but Cloud had a hold of me. For a moment I thought my legs had given way, or at least I didn't feel them anymore. I didn't feel my hands, my body; only the feel of his hands on my cheeks and that sickly hot sweet mouth devouring mine. I don't know at what point it stopped. All I remember is finally staring at a slightly abash face of Cloud, with simply no words to say.

"You're drunk."

_ Why, Reno, why? _

"I haven't had a drink the whole night." Cloud didn't continue, like waiting for me to say something. Like what could I say? Even if I said something it would probably be just the wrong thing.

"Then I'm way too drunk," I muttered and looked around. "I've passed out and I'm dreaming. There's no way you would otherwise ever…"

His lips closed against mine again, and quite conveniently my brain stopped thinking. Thank god, since I would have had too many questions otherwise. He pressed his body against mine, hands still holding my head. At some point my arms had started working, burying themselves in his blond hair. I might have whimpered, I might have been dreaming, I might have as well pissed my pants, I don't know. There's a minute-long blank in my memory of that night that I have no idea what happened.

"Cloud, I want you so bad," is the first thing I remember saying, grasping his hair. I'd already begun opening his shirt but my drunken fingers were of no use. "Come on… help me out here…"

Cloud leaned backwards. "No… Not here. Everyone's downstairs and Marlene's sleeping…"

It felt like my crotch was about to explode. "Clouuuud…." I whined, desperate that he wouldn't change his mind anymore. "You started this! I don't care if you're gonna hate me tomorrow, or whatever, but I'm fucking horny right now and you better help me with it." He was taken aback by my prompt order, and I'm sure it was very close that he didn't just walk away. I teasingly led a finger down his shirt and back up. "You should take me right here and right now or I'm going downstairs to tell them all," I whispered in his ear.

Something in his eyes changed at my words to surprisingly lustful. By the time I realized what I'd actually asked for it was already too late; he had spun me around and down onto the couch and in a heartbeat was over me. In a moment of panic I floundered with my arms and legs, trying to get Cloud off of me. Instead, it just helped him pull my pants off.

"No, no! I'm the one who's supposed to-" My voice trailed off when he began slowly pulling my boxers away. Cloud hesitated a moment, something going through his mind. Then he bobbed his head down over my erection. The sound I let out was a mixture of ecstasy and surprise, so loud that Cloud immediately lifted his head.

"You have to be quiet." He glanced cautiously towards the door. I could only nod, hoping that downstairs the others were making enough noise to mute my whimpers. Cloud licked his fingers a few times—shit that looked so hot—before closing his mouth over me again. I did fairly well in keeping quiet, considering that I really wanted to encourage him on. I'd felt his other hand move under my back down until one of his fingers entered-

I gasped so loud I was sure anyone outside the door would surely have heard it. Cloud understood that at this rate I couldn't keep quiet. He leaned all over me, pinning me down to the couch and so, partly against the finger inside me. I tried picking up my head to steal a kiss but didn't quite reach him. He got the hint and pressed against me for another kiss; I could taste myself in his mouth. Cloud kept purring into my mouth until I'd relaxed enough for a second finger to enter.

To help me relax even more, he began stroking me in the same rhythm as he was trying to get my ass to ease. I didn't know what to think. There was on one end the bliss and other pain. I tried to somehow motion him to ease even a little but I couldn't speak with Cloud's lips tightly against mine, and my arm was trembling from pain or arousal, whichever.

After what seemed like forever Cloud slid his fingers out and I could, for a moment, breathe again. He lifted himself off me enough to take off his own pants, kicking them off to the side before he turned back to me. "…You sure?"

Still, all I could do was nod, knowing very well what was coming next. Slowly, the blond pushed himself inside me. My gasps and groans were so loud Cloud had to stifle them again with a kiss. He was patient enough to wait for me to relax yet again before he began pulling out just as slow. I clenched his hair as a few tears appeared in my eyes. The next time he pushed forward he hit that one spot that made me cry out so loud Cloud had to put a hand over my mouth.

Once I recovered from the ecstatic shock, Cloud began a steady rhythm going in and out, each time grazing the same spot. And every time I almost forgot to hold back my cries. What really didn't help me at all was Cloud's own moans. Even though he had been the one telling me to be quiet, he was the one who had more issues in keeping silent.

He hadn't been at it for long, but I was totally on the edge. I tried in some sense to match his movement, but every time he hit my spot I went numb and it was like orgasmic electricity running through my whole body. Cloud probably felt just the same, considering his panting and how he clutched my shoulder.

"C-Cloud," I tried forming a sentence. He opened his eyes and looked at me, the movement stopping. "Please… touch me, I'm going to-"

I nearly came the moment he put his hand around my member. Cloud continued again with his thrusts, this time even a bit faster than before. I sure as hell couldn't take this much longer. I tried telling him that, but the words were a mixture of vague syllables and panting. I reached out to get a hold of Cloud's head and pulled it down for a last kiss. Just then I felt his body spasm and he moaned something into my mouth. It took one last shove and I felt the orgasm take over me. I was so glad we'd been kissing or I'd have shouted out loud.

Cloud slumped, tired, on me. Neither of us could say anything, both in that weary after-sex state. I wrapped my arms around the blond and buried my face in his messy hair. Just a few minutes later I realized how drunk I was. If I closed my eyes it felt like my whole world was doing cartwheels, and not in a good way.

"Hey, Cloud," I muttered. There was only a small 'hm' of an answer. "You think it's okay if I crash here tonight…?"

I don't remember what he answered; I must have passed out by then.


	9. 70 Hours pt.1

Morning. Or what I assumed was morning. I was slowly waking up and moved my arm to where my alarm clock usually was. My hand hit the air. It took a few seconds for me to register where I was. Slowly everything came back to me, as did the realization that I was no longer in the same spot where I'd passed out. I panicked momentarily, one of those Turk instincts that just wouldn't let go, and was about to jump out of the bed if I hadn't tangled myself in the sheets. So, accordingly, I fell flat on my face on the floor, scraping my chin on the way. Didn't really help my confused state at all.

I groaned as I tried to untie myself from the clasp of the sheets. It didn't take long for me to notice I wasn't wearing anything else except my partly open white dress shirt, and just as fast I remembered the previous night. I froze. How had everything happened like that? Well, simple: I was drunk, again, and…

Wait, where was Cloud?

I panicked, and like a fool lifted the sheets sprawled around me on the floor as if he would really be hiding beneath them. I suddenly became very self-conscious, realizing I was alone and almost as close to naked as one could get in a room in Tifa Lockheart's Seventh Heaven. What if someone was to walk inside? How the hell could I talk my way out of this situation? What's the time, even? Where are my pants?

I was so confused I thought I was surely still drunk and the reality of the hangover hadn't hit yet. I had to calm down for a moment; breathed deep and ruffled through my hair a few times. The room was actually much smaller than it had seemed last night, no more than twenty feet across. The couch and the two armchairs took up most of the space, and even the couch looked so small I wondered how we had even fit on it.

There was a knock on the door that nearly gave me a heart attack. I frantically tried to gather the sheets to cover myself somewhat before anyone would enter. As the door handle pressed down I quickly hoped to whatever higher being there was it wouldn't be Rude—I'd hear from this the rest of my life if it had been. When I saw it wasn't, I managed to sigh a relief, but right afterwards I noticed the slightly messed up blond hair.

It was Cloud, carrying a mug with him. A strong and bitter scent wafted into the room. But that wasn't the thing I noticed first; the man was only wearing his pants, and otherwise was shirtless. I went bright red—don't know why—and looked down. Why was I so shy suddenly? Good thing I wasn't the only one. Cloud noted my embarrassment and with flustered steps he walked up to me and presented the mug.

"Drink, it'll make you feel better," he simply said.

I took a sniff at the contents that otherwise looked like regular tea but gods, the smell! Like old socks being cooked with rat piss. "I think it just made me feel worse…" I nearly gagged.

"It's herbal tea Yuffie brought from Wutai. Helps with a hangover." I couldn't make out if he was being curt because he was mad at me or something else.

"I'm not… that hung over," I protested but took a sip of the vile-smelling fluid. Actually, it didn't taste nearly as bad as I'd expected. I tried to smile a thank you but the smell of the tea made it look more like a scowl. Cloud sat down on the floor and crossed his legs. I tried keeping my gaze on the tea instead of his toned body. He waited patiently as I finished the cup. I'd tried to take my time, knowing one of us would eventually have to say something, and I didn't want it to be me. Surprise, my mouth couldn't keep still.

"So, you…um, always walk around here half naked?" Why couldn’t I say something normal? I wanted to sink down through the floor.

"Everyone else has left." He sighed at my still confused face. "It's three in the afternoon, Reno."

How long had I been sleeping?

"Rude and Elena left already. I told them I'd give you a ride back to Kalm." Cloud got up, went to the couch and threw my pants back at me. "You should get dressed." He turned his gaze away as if to give me some privacy.

The situation was so awkward at first I didn't know what else to do except what I was told. I combed through my hair with my hands and tied up them up somewhat decently. Then it suddenly hit me: Cloud was about to just drive me back to Kalm and leave me there and never be in contact ever again. Some sort of self-preservation instinct kicked in at that moment. "You can't do this," I found myself saying.

He was still turned away. "Do what?"

"Act like a heartless bitch every time something happens between us." I walked up to him. "See? Now you won't even look at me. What did I do to deserve this?" I tried turning him around but he swatted my hands away.

"I don't want to like you," Cloud's voice was sharp, but it didn't hide the fact that for once he'd blurted out something he hadn't meant to.

I stopped. There had been bitterness in his voice, but something else: fear. I suddenly realized what was holding him back. I took a step closer, close enough to wrap my arms around him and rest my chin on his shoulder. Cloud shuddered slightly but I held him firmly. "But you do, do you?"

"This is not a good idea," he insisted, still tense.

"It was never a good idea, but maybe you should sometimes give it a try, shouldn't you? Cloud, you know I'm not good at talking, so I can't tell you what you want to hear. I don't even know what to say except that… I like you, too." I was pretty sure had I used the word "love" he would have bolted straight out the door. "I mean, there’s nothing wrong in two people liking each other company, right?" I released the hold on him. "There, I don't have anything else to say."

I waited a moment to see if he'd reply. Nothing.  _ Fine, be that way, then, Strife _ . I saw my jacket lying on the floor and reached for it. I scoffed at him as I walked towards the door. This better be the last time I get screwed like that, fucking alcohol-induced mind of mine. I was ready to slam the door behind me, just to make a point of what I felt about his childish behavior.

"Wait!"

I swear my heart skipped a beat there. I turned slowly. Cloud was still avoiding straight eye contact.

"Maybe you could stay, Reno? Just a while longer? We could… try starting all over again."

It was a relief to hear him say that. I didn't care if he couldn't say the words; it was pretty clear by now that he had some issues letting himself go. Even now he didn't exactly say he had any feelings towards me, but, personally, I was glad as long as he didn't tell me to fuck off. I don't think there was a person on earth who could really understand what went on in that head of his. It would be better if I didn't even try that. Just go with the flow, as long as it lasts.

"I suppose… Not that I have anywhere to go," I tried flashing a charming smile. "I'm starving, though, you got any food here?"

**

Cloud took me downstairs and behind the bar into the kitchen space. You could see most of the kitchen supplies were still lacking, but at least there was an oven and a microwave. Good enough for me. Sure, there was a self-constructed table with a couple of chairs beside it, but otherwise the room was bare. It was clear Tifa had first focused on the bar side, and left the rest to be taken care of later on.

There had been some leftover burgers from last night that Cloud quickly warmed in the microwave. He'd just watched me eat them in silence, but I could see him being uncomfortable. I was too hungry to mind, just stuffing myself until it felt like I would burst. I was starting to get cheery again, knowing that Cloud would, for the time being, let me hang around.

Good thing he'd pulled on a sweatshirt or I probably wouldn't have been able to eat at all. I'd always known he had to be in good shape for all he'd been doing the past months, but once I really got a good look at his muscular figure I couldn't take my eyes off. Like for me, it was really, really hard to get any muscle build. At one point I'd tried keeping up with Rude in the Shinra company gym but that was a wasted hour. Not only being totally worn out, I'd managed to sprain some muscle in my back so that I couldn't work in the field for a week.

But Cloud, he didn't have huge muscle mass. He was… just perfect. He definitely wasn't the type to flaunt his body about, even though I sure wouldn't mind. Even now, he was a bit fazed by my staring. I couldn't keep my eyes off him! There was something extremely sexy about the way he was bothered. I could still notice the small glances he gave me in the same manner from across the table.

I wondered it he'd ever been in a relationship. I'd had plenty on-off flings, but never anything serious. Not that this was any sort of relationship, but I had to wonder. That blond had some sort of huge wall keeping his desires apart from his rational self. And how did I know he desired me? Oh, you'd know, too, if you'd felt his kisses and arms around you. You'd know for sure.

"Thanks for the food." I leaned back in my chair, patting my full stomach. He smiled a "you're welcome" back. "So… where's everyone else?"

"Vincent, Cid and Yuffie already left back to Wutai. The rest are helping with the constructions."

"And you?"

"Well someone has to stay here and make sure you won't destroy the place…"

I scoffed. "That's pretty harsh there, Spike. Don't you have any trust in me?" He only rolled his eyes at me. "Hey, listen… If I'm going to stay here a while, then we should go do something rather than be house-sitting. I'm getting bored."

"You get bored easily."

I shrugged and leaned forwards towards the blond. "What can I say, with the Turks there was something interesting to do every day. Speaking of which," I gave him a sly wink, knowing very well this was only a desperate attempt, "I know one thing we could do here to pass the time…"

Cloud realized my hinted message a bit too late. He shook his head and got up from his chair. "You're impossible." He was slowly letting that wall of his go down.

"Can't blame me for trying, at least." I was feeling like some teenage girl getting to spend the first time with their crush. "I know, take me someplace you like to go. Somewhere where we could, you know, talk."

"Talk?" Cloud was absentmindedly putting some dishes into a sink and running water over them. "You really do like to talk." He shut the faucet and looked over his shoulder at me. That smile made me feel like jelly all over. "I’d like to listen to you."

**

The wind blew past us as Cloud increased the speed on his motorcycle. The engine roared in protest but kept its course. It was maybe a fifteen minute ride from the outskirts of Edge that the terrain began rising at first into steep hills and soon into the mountain range cutting nearly through the whole continent. We didn't go that far; only to the first hills. Cloud stopped the bike on one particular edge of a cliff that looked onto Midgar and its ruins.

There was a blissful silence after he turned off the engine, but I didn't want to let go of his waist. It reminded me of the first time we'd been this close. Granted, we'd both been pretty drunk, but still… I closed my eyes and let myself just enjoy the moment. The air was much fresher even such a little way out of the city. For a moment it felt like there was nothing else in the world except Cloud and me. I felt him lean back onto me.

"You smell nice," I muttered, giving a small kiss on his neck.

"You've said that before," he remarked casually. I was actually taken aback a bit. When had I said such a thing? Well, maybe this was just another proof that he'd really been thinking of me.

For an hour we didn't even get off the whole bike, but instead sat there just enjoying each other's company and watching the ruined city. It was a peaceful sight, and I liked the fact that Cloud didn't seem at all anxious about the silence there was between us. Maybe he liked it just as much as I did. When we did finally dismount, we'd sit side by side on the ground, still cool in the early spring sun.

And we talked. As silly as it sounds, that's what we did. Just talked about random stuff varying from the time we'd teamed up in Wutai to Cloud recounting of Sephiroth's demise and to what plans Tifa had for her new bar. It felt good to hear him speak so much, for a change. I knew there were some things I couldn't tell him, concerning Rufus, but for the time being I wanted him to feel like he could open up to me. And the more he did speak, the more he'd lean against my shoulder. I felt like I never wanted to let go of him. Being there felt safe.

"Reno?" Cloud suddenly asked.

"Hm?" It took a moment to register he'd asked something.

"Do you still want that ride back to Kalm or are you going to stay here the night?"

I felt my face grow warm. I knew what that question really was about. "Well, the sun's going to set soon anyway, and um, it's pretty cold to drive all the way to Kalm and-" I was surprised how nervous I'd become all of a sudden. "I mean, if it's no inconvenience to you, that is… I could stay."

"It won't be." Cloud lifted his head just enough to give me a slight kiss on me cheek. My face turned even a darker shade of red; I even felt my neck burning. How did he always seem to catch me off guard?

"Th-that's good, then."

Cloud let his head fall again on my shoulder, his hair tickling my chin. He put an arm around my waist and we sat there still another hour. There was going to be no hurry anywhere.

 


	10. The Dinner

It was closer to 8pm and dark when we made it back to the Seventh Heaven. After dusk had set it had been impossible to drive the motorcycle full speed back to Edge, and halfway there one of those early spring rainstorms had attacked the lands around Midgar. It was one of those reminders that even though the days could be warm, stick a Reno outside in the rain and you get one freezing, pissed off Turk. Even though Cloud did his best to drive as fast as he could, the cold wind made things even worse. By the time we stumbled into the warmth of the bar I was shivering so badly I wished Cloud had the nerves to put even an arm around me. Of course that was a desperate wish; the moment we stepped inside the bar I could feel him grow tense, and Tifa's voice from the kitchen shouted back to us.

"Hey, Cloud! Where've you been? I was almost getting worried something had happened on the way to Kalm…" The brown-haired woman emerged from the kitchen with a large spoon in her hand, her sentence faltering as she noticed me. "Reno… I thought you'd left already."

Cloud was about to say something but I was faster. "Yeah, that was the plan, but then his bike broke down midway and we had to get some gas, and then the rainstorm surprised us, and it was just easier to come back here." Cloud gave a small cough to warn me to stop at some point. I gave him a pat on the back and grinned at the suspicious-looking Tifa. "So, as it seems, you're stuck with me tonight. What's that smell, you cooking something good?"

If there was a time to bless my blabbering mouth, this was it. Tifa didn't have any time to protest before I'd disappeared into the warmth of the kitchen. She did, however, give one of those "I warned you" glares at Cloud. He, on the other hand, gave such a nervous smile back that I thought she'd bust us on the lie.

Tifa kept on giving me dubious looks the whole time she hovered over the stove. It was like I was going to do something evil the moment she averted her gaze. All I dared do was sit in the chair by the table and wait for her to say something. Cloud, across the table, seemed to be just as still, like we were little kids going to get a scolding from their mother.

Finally, after what was the longest 15 minutes of my life, Tifa brought the pot to the table and laid out plates for us. It was some kind of soup, and the smell was delicious. I didn't even care what was in it; the whole time waiting I'd been praying no one would hear my stomach's demands for nutrition. And just like that, once I tasted the divine soup, I forgot to worry about Tifa and hr opinions.

"Praise Ifrit, this is the best thing I've had in ages!" I was spooning the soup so fast even Cloud looked at me with disapproval. Tifa, however, smiled for the first time.

"If Cloud would tell that more often, I'd be cooking every day…"

"It's good, Tifa, really," he tried to repair the damage I'd done. Tifa flashed a glare at his direction. Good thing he was the type to shut up when getting nervous; Cloud just lowered his head to concentrate on eating.

It was awkward from then forth. Tifa was sitting at the end of the table so she could see both of us. Still, Cloud and I kept exchanging seemingly unnoticeable glances at each other, trying to convey some sort of secret messages. I didn’t know what was going on in his head, but I really just couldn't keep my eyes off him. And all the time I could feel Tifa's eyes pinned on me. Even after we'd all finished, neither of us had the courage to be the first one to say something.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Tifa finally declared after a few minutes. Her voice cut through the air like a knife. "Yesterday you weren't at first talking at all, and now you're like you have some secret between the two of you. What's the deal?" Her voice made it clear neither of us was allowed to leave until she had an explanation.

"Nothing!" Cloud answered too fast, and I had to save the situation.

"You of all the people being this suspicious, Tifa! After what you and Rude did to us, sneaky bastards…" Despite the outcome, I wasn't okay with them plotting behind my back, trying to get me and Cloud to reconcile. "Your scheme worked, everything's fine between us. Today, I overslept and my so-called friends left, leaving me with you two. How do you think I feel?" I could tell from her look that she didn't quite believe it, but there wasn't anything better to tell her, anyway.

She sighed in defeat. "Well I'm not going to send anyone out into that storm, so you got lucky,  _ Reno _ ." Her tone softened when she realized there wasn't much to do with the situation. "You probably want to take a shower. It's the second door to the right upstairs. Towels are in the cupboard."

I wasn't sure if this was my cue to be dismissed, or was she going to say something still. I even waited a while longer before getting up in case Cloud would offer to show me. I tried giving him a look to come along, but he refused to meet my eye, not brave enough to defy Tifa's words. Slightly defeated, I thanked Tifa for the food once more before taking my leave upstairs.

If the food had been divine, the shower was utter ecstasy. It was only when the hot water hit my head that I realized how cold I'd been. I turned it as hot as possible and just stood there in a trance. Sure, I wouldn't have minded if Cloud had been there, too, but damn! I nearly fell asleep in there. The only fault I could find was that I had to put back on my damp, dirty clothes from earlier—as if I'd brought some spare ones along. I took the towel with me when stepping out of the bathroom-shower to try to dry my hair.

I assumed I was allowed to sleep in the same room I'd slept the previous night, but before I got to open the door I could hear Tifa and Cloud downstairs talking. Hearing my name mentioned caught my attention, and instead of going into the room I decided to stay there and listen for a while.

"I don't know what's gone into you," Tifa was saying. "Why couldn't you just drive Reno back to Kalm?"

"I told you already, Tifa. There's nothing weird going on…"

"Are you hearing yourself? You don't know if he's here to spy on us or something. You know," she lowered her voice so that I barely heard it, "Rufus Shinra is in Kalm. He's probably holding some sort of grudge against us. There's nothing good to come out of that man, and especially the people who work for him!"

"You're exaggerating, even Reeve's been going there with some business in mind. And what about you and Rude? You seemed to be getting along well…"

"Well I don't trust Reeve, either, and Rude and I are just friends. I told him it would be awkward if they stayed any longer. I just don't want to see anyone take advantage of you. You mean a lot to me, Cloud."

"Please, can we have this conversation some other time? I'm tired, and it's been a long day."

"Fine. But you're going to be the one cleaning that room Reno's sleeping in. He's your responsibility now."

I barely made it back into my room before Cloud came storming up the stairs and straight into my temporary bedroom. I tried to look nonchalant and kept drying my hair with the towel and feigning surprise at his entrance.

"What's with the look?" I asked, half joking.

"What look?" he snapped back. He'd turned much more sour than I'd expected.

"Well sorry for asking…" I tried not to sound too spiteful; I'd learned he would only retaliate with the same sort of attitude. "She doesn’t trust me does she?"

Cloud walked up to me and smacked the back of my head. "You were listening, weren't you?"

I only showed him the most charming smile I knew, hoping he would succumb to it. "You know I can't resist good gossip."

"Just try to behave."

I took a hold of his hips and tried to steal a kiss from his grumpy face. "It's a bit hard if you keep staying in my line of sight."

He tilted his head so that I merely pecked his cheek. "No, I'm serious, Reno. Just cut it for now."

This time he wasn't as quick to avoid my lips and I did get that kiss I'd been looking for. It was another second when everything else disappeared from the world. "This really isn't fair." I kept giving him those little kisses between my sentences. "You care way too much about what others think of you. You should really try to relax…" Slowly Cloud began to answer my light proposes.

"And you," he tugged me towards the door to close it, "you don't care nearly enough of what others think."

My back hit the doorknob rather painfully but I wouldn't let him see it. I fumbled to lock it, silently rejoicing when I heard it click. I was getting tired of talking. "Maybe there’s something that you could learn from me, then..."

**

It hadn't taken more than a few minutes, but even though, we were both exhausted from the sudden thrill. Cloud's head resting against my shoulder, we were a real tangle of body parts, trying to fit into one of the armchairs. But once we'd found that good spot it had been a perfect fit. It was actually so comfortable that I began to rethink my attitude towards after-sex snuggling. I'd usually been the type to be the first one trying to leave the poor girl, hoping she wouldn't remember my name.

_ Hm, maybe you just needed to find the right one… _

Like so many times before, it was Cloud who tried to get up first. I tried to hold him back but, like I already might have pointed out, he had more strength over me. I was left like a small child that had their favorite toy taken away. I tried throwing some desperate puppy-eyed looks at him but Cloud just stubbornly picked up his pants.

"I have to see where Tifa is. If she's not that upset of the fight…"

"But what about me? What if I'm gonna be upset you chose her over me?" He had a point, though. Even if she had her doubts about my integrity, there was no point in ignoring her completely; it was like throwing fuel into a fire… Besides, it wasn't like she owned Cloud, so why did she feel like she could dictate what he can and can't do.

"I'm pretty sure then you'd come crawling and begging me back." He said it with such a straight face I wasn't sure if this was Cloud's idea of a joke. But he was right, that was exactly what I'd do. Not that I'd admit it to him.

"Bah, I'm not that desperate." I leaned across the armchair and crossed my legs, very aware I wasn't wearing any pants. "I'll just wait here until  _ you _ come back for another taste of Reno." I even gave him the cheesiest wink. It was ridiculous, sure, but I was willing to be that ridiculous if it was to see a smile on his face. At first he just stared at me in disbelief, but finally I saw that hint of a grin before he disappeared into the hall outside.

 


	11. Chapter 11

I got bored quickly. I’d expected Cloud to be back in a matter of few minutes, but after fifteen I had to get up, put on my pants and try to find him. Once I'd stepped out of the room into the hallway my curiosity gained the best of me and I decided to take a quick peek on the other parts of the second floor. I couldn't help being a bit nosy; how often did you get a chance like this? Maybe I'd find some secret of Cloud's I could tease him for later on. Even though he seemed uncomfortable with me trying to get him to loosen up, I liked the idea of having some leverage over him. 

I grinned at myself for being such a fool with a crush on the man, but that's the way I am. I remembered the first time I'd seen - what I considered to be my first crush, love, whatever - Honeybee's very own prize attraction, Clarissa. She was the most gorgeous dancer ever to appear on the "inn's" stage, and Rude always had to literally drag me out of the brothel. Now that I thought about it, she'd had blond hair almost identical to the shade of Cloud's. Maybe that was the thing that got me going…

At this point I realized I'd been so much in my thoughts that I'd walked around the second floor not even paying attention to my surroundings. I'd passed a few doors not bothering to open them. The hall went on for another ten feet before it turned a corner and opened up to a large loft-like space with various kinds of salvaged furniture and even a fireplace. One wall had its whole length windowed, but since it was almost dark outside I couldn't see the view. I was pretty sure once Tifa had the time and money to furnish the space it could even be called cozy. I clicked the light switch next to me and a pale warm glow from a single lamp in the ceiling lit the room.

There were some framed photographs on one of tables and a small, simple vase with a few flowers beside them. I noticed the blond, spiky hair on one of them, but had to move closer to recognize the rest of the people. It was Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, and Barret posing in front of what apparently was the previous 7th Heaven in sector 7. It must have been taken on the beginning of their adventure; even Cloud looked really happy and enjoying the presence of his friends. I felt another surge of guilt for the fact that I'd been the one to drop the plate on that sector.

That was the first time I'd lost to them in a fight, and good thing Tseng had been there with the chopper or I'd probably been crushed along with the sector as well. I tried to remember that day, and what exactly my feelings had been towards Cloud. It had felt like I hadn't given my best during the fight, but on the other hand I sure wouldn't take the same kind of beating again. Gods bless the mako technology, or I'd had been hospitalized for at least twice the time. Playing with the thought, maybe I'd lost on purpose?

Nah, I'm too cocky for that.

"Reno." I knew the voice. Cloud had sneaked up to me and was leaning against the wall.

I got flustered by his sudden presence, realizing I'd really been thinking of him the whole time, and fumbled with the picture frame. I nearly knocked the vase on the ground but somehow managed to catch it. "Yeah, I uh… just wanted to look around." Cloud walked up to me and took the picture in his hands. His eyes turned gloomy and the usual frown returned to his face. Having lost Aeris must have really taken its toll on him.

"I'm not sure if anyone's told this to you but, I'm sorry about all that." I was surprised such eloquent words came out of my mouth. "Sector 7, and Aeris..."

Cloud put the picture back down. "It's fine. Besides, I think you got what you deserved for it." If he was referring to our fight, he was sounding annoyingly smug.

I gave a small cough. "I was going easy on you… And I don't recall three against one ever being a fair fight!" My hand found its way to his waist and down to his ass to give a slight squeeze. "Don't tell me you would've rather finished me off?" Why was it that I couldn't keep my hands in check around him?

"Maybe I would have if you hadn't so cowardly run away…"

Ouch.

He turned his head to give me a light kiss, but, hearing Tifa from the hallway, retracted before I got any taste of him. "Cloud! I'm going to bed," she called before I heard a door closing.

"We should go, too," Cloud sighed. He didn't even wait for me to answer before he turned on his heels. He paused at the light switch. "You coming?"

I jerked into motion. "Oh, you mean us? You want me to sleep with you, like in the same bed?" It was the thought of just being next to him that made me so jittery.

He was a bit confounded by my reaction; I was just as much. "You don't have to… If you want, you can sleep in your own bed, as well."

"No! No!" I rushed to him before he turned off the light. I changed my tone, trying to sound even a little seductive. "Though I don't think I'd be getting much sleep this night with you."

I wanted him to agree, but all Cloud did was stroke my cheek. "You know we can't with Tifa sleeping next door."

"Hm, maybe she'd like to join in…" I added slyly. He only gave me a playful shove and rolled his eyes in disgust. "Okay, okay, that was a bad one." He continued his way to an open door on the right. "I didn't mean it, like, really!" I almost pranced to follow him. "I mean, she's not bad looking, don't get me wrong..."

Cloud caught a hold of me and pressed me against the doorframe. I thought he'd kiss me, but instead he put a finger to my lips. "Shh… The walls aren't as thick as you think."

I nodded, but kept on going in a whisper. "Not as hot as you, although I wouldn't mind having the both of you…"

"Behave," he ordered with a grin before closing the door.

Cloud's room was much smaller than the one I was staying in, and the single bed took up most of the space. There was a wardrobe right to my left, next to it a wooden armchair with Cloud's SOLDIER-armor resting on it and the trademarked buster sword slanting against the corner. There wasn't much else; a small nightstand by the bed and a single lamp on it that lit the whole room. Above the bed a window was staring into darkness, and I could see our reflections from it. I'd expected Cloud to be much neater, but instead random articles of clothing or scrap paper lay here and there on the floor.

"You know there's only one way we're fitting on that bed." Yeah, it was big enough for one grown man, but two…not a chance.

"Don't like it, sleep on the floor. I'm serious, Reno, she'll hear." This time he did give me that kiss. "I think it's good for you to learn some self-control."

I'd started unbuttoning my shirt. "But I don't want to practice." There had been only a few things in my mind ever since last night, and Cloud so conveniently had something to do with every one of them. I knew I couldn't be there forever, so why not get everything out of the situation? I doubt he saw it the same way. I only got half-way down my shirt until I had to stop. Cloud had taken off his sweater, enough said.

He saw that I was clearly having problems with the seemingly simple task of undressing and took a few steps to help. Occasionally his fingers touched lightly my skin and every time I got shivers down my spine. I was barely breathing, afraid that I'd lose myself if I made any unnecessary move. He let my shirt fall to the floor and just stood there looking at me. I could tell he was exercising some serious self-control at the moment. But his eyes betrayed him. I saw the hunger in them. It was like in slow motion that he finally pressed those slightly rough lips against mine.

I did my best to restrain myself, but I didn't last long. I took a step backwards and pulled him against me so that I was between him and the wardrobe. His bare chest against mine. Mouth against mouth, tongue against tongue. My hand trailed down his back and pulled his hips hard against mine, showing just how much I wanted him. It seemed like the rougher I grabbed him the harder he pushed against my body.

Something wasn't right. I couldn't and wouldn't pinpoint it at first, but when Cloud pulled out of the kiss and some reality hit my brain I realized my phone was ringing and vibrating in my pocket. "You gotta be kidding me…" I muttered. What a mood killer. I tried to pull Cloud closer again, but he gave me the look.

"Answer it." For him, the heat and intensity was gone already. I swore in my head for having not turned my phone on silent.

"What?" I snapped into the receiving end.

"Reno, where are you?" Of course if it had to be someone to interrupt me from getting laid it was going to be Rude.

"Edge." I tried to sound as irritated as possible to hint Rude to hang up. "Yes, I'm alive; yes, I'm coming back tomorrow."

"Tseng wants you here, now. How fast can you get here?"

_ No, I'm not leaving yet, you don't know I'm dealing with here, Rude. _

I took a deep breath to calm myself, partly from the endorphin rush I'd had, partly to control my anger. "I'll be there tomorrow, okay? Listen, I'm sorta in the middle of something here…"

The 'hmm' Rude gave me on the other end was suggestive enough for me to nearly throw the phone into the wall. Instead, I hung up as violently as I possibly could. I glanced at Cloud, knowing that he wouldn't be in the mood anymore. He'd already climbed under the covers of his bed. Why was he so easily distracted?

_ Seriously, loosen up, Strife... _

My phone began ringing again. Rude, again. This time I just declined his call and turned off the whole thing. I gave Cloud a final, inquiring look, but his yawn was the answer. I gave an overly melodramatic sigh and accepted the fact this night the only thing I was getting was sleep. Once I slipped under the covers Cloud put an arm around me and nuzzled against my neck.

"I'll take you back tomorrow," he murmured sleepily. After a few minutes he'd fallen asleep, snoring in a way it was almost cute. It took me a longer time to fall asleep; I'd reckoned that if this was going to be the last night I could be with him in a while, I was going to remember everything possible about the man. I tried concentrating on his touch, his breath on my neck, his scent, just so I could recall them later on. Eventually, even I dozed off, the light still turned on.


	12. Chapter 12

Even before I woke up I felt like floating in a warm bath of pink fluff, with the sun shining warmly on my body. It was the moment right before waking up when you're not sure if your dreaming or not. This was the time during the mornings that I liked to stay in that limbo state between being awake and dreaming. Unfortunately, usually it was my alarm clock that gave me the sudden shock back to reality, but today there wasn't anything. Only the sun and a soft breeze caressing my face. No, it wasn't the wind; it was too real to be a breeze in my mind.

I tried opening my eyes but the sunlight was so strong I had to lift a hand to shield myself. I blinked a few times and finally focused on the pair of blue eyes watching me. Cloud was on his side looking at me with a curious look on his face, one hand gently stroking my cheek. Seemed like he'd been at it for a while already.

"Whassa time?" I groggily asked, trying to swat away his hand. "How long've you been staring at me?"

"Almost seven."

"In the morning?" I was still feeling pretty sluggish, not even sure if I was still half asleep. "Why am I awake?" I turned to my side and pulled the covers over me. "Lemme sleep a bit longer, 'kay?"

Cloud pulled the covers all the way off of me. "You should get up before Tifa wakes."

"Mm-mmm." I was falling asleep again. "She can wait..."

Somewhere in the distance I heard Cloud sigh. "Seriously, Reno, get up." His hand left my cheek and slowly started trailing down my side towards my hips. "Hm, I bet there's one thing you'd rather do than sleep..." He didn't even have to finish the sentence that I'd turned around, fully awake and opt for some early morning exercise.

"You really don't have to ask twice..."

Instead of taking me in a lustful embrace, Cloud quickly rolled over the side of the bed and stood up. "Not so tired anymore, are you?" He had this sly look in his eyes and I knew I'd just been tricked. Not much use pretending to sleep anymore.

"You... You're evil!" Of course he knew I wasn't really mad at him. I did feel a bit violated, however. I was going to get back at him for this, surely.

He only tossed me my shirt. "You should get out of here, Tifa usually wakes me up around these times."

Grumbling, I mushed my shirt into a small ball and got up from the bed. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand before giving him a light kiss and stepping out into the hall. The moment I'd closed the door to his room I had this uneasy feeling at the back of my neck, and not a second later my heart sank down to the floor.

"Reno,  _ what _ are you doing?" Tifa's voice was as icy as it was sharp.

I went pale white. "Me?" I turned slowly, trying to look as casual as possible. Not that easy when you're half-naked. "What I'm doing? I... I was about to...uh... My phone! Cloud accidently took it yesterday, and I just thought I'd sneak in and get it. See?" I showed her the phone in my hand. "This is a bit awkward, though... He's still sleeping, if you’re wondering." I tried to say the last part as loud as I could so that it still didn't sound suspicious, hoping that Cloud would hear it on the other side and actually pretend to be sleeping. "Not that I would ever do anything else to him, I swear! Really sorry about this. And, uh... good morning to you, too!"

I slipped back into my room before she could say anything else. Once I'd closed the door I gave a sigh of relief. Shit, that had been too close. I ran the scenario in my head: if she'd woken up even five minutes earlier and busted us in the same bed... Cloud was right; there was no point in going public with this... thing we had. Not yet, anyway. I was pretty sure Tifa would kill me if she found out. She probably believed I was just taking advantage of Cloud or something else like that. Not to mention whatever stories Rude possibly could have told her. And I knew he surely  _ had _ told her things about my not-so-glorious endeavors with the ladies.

I could hear her talking with Cloud faintly, but wasn't able to distinguish any words. Most likely she was just scolding him for not being careful enough around me or something else like that. Oh, if only you knew, Tifa... I would never hurt the man. Well, that is, after I got back at him for the nasty trick he'd played. If there was one thing I hated, it was early mornings. I'd always had problems with them, ever since I joined the Turks. Especially when Tseng had taken over, he'd insisted that we have these early morning meetings twice a week. It didn't take more than a few weeks that he'd realized I wasn't going to be able to attend them and finally forfeited the idea.

Meh, again my thoughts had gone running off. There were steps in the hall; I recognized Cloud's, and the other pair was Tifa's. They faded down the stairs, but I was still apprehensive at what point was it safe to join them. I turned my phone back on, and it didn't take long for a huge spam of text messages from Rude and Elena to flood the screen. I wasn't really bothered by any of them, but on particular from Elena did make me a bit nervous: " _ Tseng is going to kill you if you're not here by tonight. _ " If I had to choose between Cloud's company and Tseng's wrath, it wasn't a hard decision. Well, I had to eventually return to Kalm anyway, and Tifa surely wouldn't let me stay any longer.

I scanned the room for any of my belongings. My Shinra-issued jacket was on the back of one of the armchairs where I'd thrown it after the shower yesterday. I just had to peek if there were any unwanted stains on the couch or armchairs, and at the same time saw my goggles partly hidden under a pillow on the couch. I hadn't even noticed they were missing. I never went anywhere without them, but somehow I’d gone the whole of yesterday without them.

"You're getting sloppy…" I muttered to myself, trying to set the goggles back on my head somewhat smartly. After quickly making the bed as well as I knew how to—not very well for that matter—and otherwise making sure the room was in decent condition, I went downstairs. Hopefully there would be at least coffee.

There was. And some toast. Tifa had started up a small pot of porridge, but judging by the looks she gave me when I entered there wouldn't be enough for me. I didn't mind. Coffee was the only thing I needed in the mornings. Otherwise, breakfast was just as awkward as dinner yesterday, for me, at least. Tifa and Cloud were having some discussion on the possibility of expanding their business, but I could hear from his voice he wasn't concentrating on what was said. Cloud did a good job in not looking at me, and even though I tried to watch the swirls of coffee in my mug I just couldn't sit there and not catch glimpses of him.

"Is your bike badly broken?" Tifa was asking. I didn't understand the question at all, but Cloud caught on faster. "You need help with it?"

"Nothing that can't be fixed in an hour or two. Probably just some busted wiring or something." I was actually amazed that Cloud could lie so smoothly. I'd already forgotten about the explanation I'd given Tifa yesterday, but Cloud was so convincing even I almost considered the bike had really broken. "I'll be on it the first thing today. No offense, Tifa, but I think Reno would be of better help fixing it…"

I thought Tifa would get upset, but she only smiled. "Ah, that's just good. I know nothing of those things. Wouldn't be of much help anyway." She gave me a careful glance. "You men can go do whatever it is you do with bikes; I'm keeping this day off. I thought I'd go visit her church. It's so peaceful there and the flowers never seem to wilt… It’s a wonder it survived all the destruction."

"No worries, we'll manage here." I felt a sting of jealousy from the way Cloud smiled at her.

**

Tifa left soon after breakfast. I had a hunch where she was going: the church in sector 5 where I'd been sent to apprehend the pretty Ancient-girl. Where I'd seen Cloud for the first time… I suddenly felt funny, thinking of that day. I'd known there had been something special about him, the way how easily he disarmed the infantrymen I'd taken along. I'd been really pissed that they'd escaped so easily. Oh, how little had I known then. I'd never have guessed how much my feelings towards him would change.

Cloud had gone outside to send Tifa on her way and seemingly inspect his "broken" motorcycle. I waited until I was sure she had disappeared out of sight before joining him. Occasionally other inhabitants of Edge walked past, so I dared not to get all that physical with him.

"You don't have to pretend to be fixing it anymore…" I noted at Cloud, kneeling by his bike. "And anyway, if you're going to drive me back to Kalm today, shouldn't we spend some quality time before that." By 'quality time' I didn't mean sitting around a table chitchatting.

Cloud didn't answer at first. He was examining some part of the motorcycle's exhaust tube. Finally, he gave a groaned sigh. "I'm really sorry, Reno, but she really does need some fixing up." He took off the sweatshirt he had on to reveal a simple black top underneath. "I at least have to clean these parts, or she'll rust…"

"You have to be kidding?" I kneeled beside him and tried to look interested in what he was doing. "I'm second to a motorcycle? Come on, where'd the love go?" It just slipped out of my mouth. Cloud tensed but kept his attention on the bike.

"I'll be quick with her, don't worry." His voice was uncomfortably monotone, but when he flashed me that smile of his nothing mattered anymore. "You can keep me company, though."

I personally know nothing about motorcycles except that they're awesome to drive—or even be as a passenger if a certain somebody was the one doing the driving. So I just forfeited and sat on the ground next to him and waited. In a way it was nice to see him so focused on one thing, even if it wasn't me. Maybe this was what he liked to do; how would I know? But the more I sat there and watched him work the more I got annoyed. I'd rather have his hands all over me than some pile of metal.

_ Reno, you're jealous of an inanimate object. _

Just to concentrate on something else, I began studying Cloud, partly really just fantasizing about all the things we'd done and perhaps going to do. For some reason my attention stuck on a bruise on his left arm. I quickly replayed the past weekend in my mind in case I'd been too rough in some situations, but didn't come up with anything.

"What's that?" I pointed out the small shade on his bicep.

"Hm?" Finally he was distracted even a little bit from the motorcycle. "Oh, I… don't know. I must have hit it somewhere…" He ran a hand over it.

"Does it hurt? It looks bad." I wasn't sure if it was the sunlight, but the bruising almost flickered and slightly changed in shape and color constantly.

"No… I haven’t actually even noticed it before. I don’t think it’s nothing to worry about, though," Cloud only shrugged it off and turned back to the bike.

"You should get it checked out, looks like it's infected or something."

"Maybe I will…" All his concentration was on the bike again.

**

It was half past nine that I got the phone call. Cloud had already finished with his bike, but suddenly decided it was a good time to wash it, as well. I'd been watching him a little way off so I wouldn't get wet. Even though it was sunny, the few moments it got clouded there was this chill only present during early spring. I couldn't wait until he was finished and we could go inside to warm up.

Just when I saw Cloud was getting ready with the whole cleaning operation, I heard the familiar ringtone of my phone. It didn't take a genius to figure who it could be; it was one of those annoying pop songs that used to play on the radio I'd set for Rude's calls.

"I told you, I'll be there today," I didn't bother even greeting him with a simple hello.

"Reno, you were instructed to be here yesterday." It wasn't Rude. No, the only person being able to sound so cynical was Tseng. The asshole probably borrowed Rude's phone just so I wouldn't decline his call.

I pretty much choked on my words. "Sir, yes! There just were some complications on the way. There was a real storm last night and no buses were leaving and it was just impossible for me to get there."

"Well I expect you to be here in an hour. Of course I assume that you're already on the way…" Tseng knew very well I hadn't left to Kalm yet. He just liked to see—or hear, as it was in this case—me squirm and fail to follow his schedules, only to be able to later on scold me on it.

"Yeah, no problem, I'll be there, boss! And in time, no worries…" Cloud was walking up to me. "Hey, I really need to go now. The, um, bus is stopping and I need to take a leak." There was a sigh on the other end before Tseng hung up. I couldn't help but sigh, too. Cloud didn't have to say anything, he just looked at me with a question on his face.

"I really need to get back to Kalm, Tseng's going to kill me."

"I'll go take a shower and change, then I'll drive you back. That okay?"

"Hmm…can I come, too?" I had to ask. If I really was going to die today, I'd rather have sex at least once before that. Maybe twice.

Cloud totally surprised me and gave a snide grin. "At least now you can be as loud as you want…" It was almost like he'd been embarrassed by his own words, since Cloud just turned around and walked towards the front door of the bar.

"Oh… that a challenge?" I rushed to catch up with him. He eluded my slick fingers on his waist until we were inside and the door closed, when he finally let me take a hold of him. Cloud didn't get far; I spun him right around and against the closed door for a kiss. "You ever thought of doing it on the bar counter…?" Again, some words just accidentally left my mouth.

Cloud pulled back from the kiss but let me hold us close. " _ I'm _ going to take a shower," he just stated, grinning at my sudden horniness. He ducked under my arm and continued his way toward the stairs. I was quick behind him. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been really lazy about publishing more to this, and now I even don't feel like putting it all out there, but I guess I'll at least post all the chapters I've written so far. Personally, I feel like I could do so much better with the quality of writing. Still, it might be good for me to put this out there in case someone's still reading... ^^'

I wasn't expecting a parade or anything, but the reception I got from Tseng once I'd returned to Kalm was something I hadn't experienced in a while. It was like he'd been waiting at the inn reception just for me to eventually walk in. I'd been whistling the short walk to the inn from the place Cloud had dropped me off. It hadn't yet sunk in that I probably wouldn't be seeing him for a while; I was still tipsy from everything that had happened during the weekend, and during this morning. 

By the time we'd been able to leave, it was almost eleven; so much for being back in Kalm within the hour from Tseng's phone call. Of course, I would have liked to stay longer, but Cloud insisted that we get on the road. I didn't even have time to dry my hair, but, on the other hand, the speed Cloud drove his bike it didn't take long for them to dry completely.

The trip to Kalm had been a lot faster than I'd remembered. Halfway I'd convinced Cloud to stop and let me drive the rest of the way. He agreed, though reluctantly. He really did love that bike of his. It had been a while since I'd last ridden a motorcycle, but I sure wasn't going to tell Cloud that. I didn't even pay attention to his warning about the sensitive throttle, and after a jerky start we were able to continue.

I'd forgotten how fun it was to ignore all the speed limits and drive full speed down the empty highway. I think Cloud had some survival instincts with him: he was gripping my waist so hard I was afraid it would leave a bruise. A few times he tried to hint for me to slow down, but I just laughed it off and enjoyed the feeling of freedom the drive gave me. By the time we arrived at Kalm (I parked the bike just a few blocks away from the inn we were staying at) Cloud gave a relieved sigh and slowly released his grip on me.

"Remind me to never let you drive again, Reno…" he'd muttered, and I could see his hands were slightly shaking. I'm pretty sure I didn't drive  _ that _ recklessly.

"Yeah, you know me: it's all in or nothing."

An awkward silence followed. It had been like neither of us really knew what to say at that moment.

"I'm probably supposed to say something cliché here, right?" Cloud actually smiled at my comment. I gave him back the keys to his bike and enjoyed the slight touch of his fingers against my palm. I wasn't going to do anything to arouse suspicions in the other people walking the streets. "But, you know, if you're sometimes around these parts, give me a call, or whatever." It suddenly had hit me we hadn't discussed about any future plans about… this thing we had. "I mean, we're going to see each other again, right?" I tried my best to sound casual.

Cloud shifted uncomfortably. This was just as new to him as it was for me. "Yeah…"

I pointed at the vague direction of the inn. "So… I'll be going. Just call me if you have some spare time, 'kay? You have my number, right?" He gave me a small grin and nodded. I paused next to him, waiting if he'd make some sort of move.

"You should really go, or else Tseng will really kill you," were the only words I got from him.

I cringed, remembering why I'd been in a hurry in the first place. "Right!" I took a few hurried steps away from him before I turned for the last time. "Just… call me?"

**

Yeah, Tseng wasn't happy. He glared at me when I finally entered the inn's reception and informally noted: "I see your hour is thrice the time, Reno." Let me correct: Tseng wasn't just not happy, he was mad.

"Complications on the way…" I muttered, knowing all too well I couldn't talk my way out of this. "I'm sorry, okay?"

At the same time Rude and Elena made their way down to the reception from the stairs. Elena had this smug look on her face, but Rude was broadly grinning as if he knew more about my weekend than I assumed. Neither of them, however, said anything, most likely thanks to Tseng's scowl.

"What's the deal, then?" There was no use trying to kiss up to Tseng anymore.

"Rufus." Tseng's answer was short, but he didn't need to mention anymore. I got cold chills down my back knowing I'd actually kept Rufus Shinra waiting all this time. Even though the man had been bedridden for the past months, he still was capable of sparking fear in me. Tseng nodded for us to follow him upstairs. Elena was quickly right behind his heels, but Rude stayed back to linger beside me.

"You found some girl, eh?" he asked slyly, keeping his voice as low as he could.

"None of your business." I must have blushed slightly, considering his reaction.

"Knew it. No other reason why you wouldn't answer my calls."

I was about to snap back at him but we were already behind Rufus' door and Tseng stopped. He gave two sharp knocks on the door and an unfamiliar voice beckoned us to enter. The room was surprisingly plain and simple for Rufus to stay in, but, on the other hand, there weren't that many options these days anymore. The room was twice as large as the one the rest of us had been given, with one window looking straight into the town's center plaza. There were a few chairs around the room, but no tables.

Rufus was sitting up in the king-size bed (probably the only one in the whole inn) with a doctor of some sorts huddled beside him changing some of his bandages. I hadn't realized how badly the former Shinra-president had been injured: the left side of his body had been burned in the explosion, and even though now the worst had been healed, there still were some nasty scars left running all the way down from his neck and his sides. Nothing that couldn't later on be fixed with a few surgeries, however. There were still some scars on his face from all the shrapnel that had bombarded him during the Diamond Weapon's attack. Even after so many months he still looked like a wreck; proof that he, too, needed the time to heal. In his state Rufus Shinra almost looked… human and I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

Tseng exchanged a look with the doctor, a tall, bald man who looked as much of a stereotypical doctor as one can. He even had those round glasses perched on his nose. "He is showing remarkable progress in healing everywhere else but this particular arm. I've tried all kinds of mako-treatment but nothing has yet to work apart from slightly preventing the spreading of it… I'm sorry, sir." He nodded to Rufus, who seemed irritated that he was spoken of like he wasn't even present.

"How bad is it?" Tseng asked with such concern in his voice I'd only heard a few times before, and those had been when he had been talking about Aeris Gainsborough.

"You can see for yourself, I was just changing his bandages…" The doctor moved aside to let us take a look of Rufus' arm.

At first glance it looked like there was nothing but a few bruises on his arm, but after I looked closer, there was something really familiar about the dark patches on his skin. It began just above his wrist, an area of dark purple or black skin that almost looked scaly in pattern. What really caught my attention was how it seemed to move or shimmer as if it was alive. Like Rufus' arm was infested with some unknown plague. It was almost identical to the dark bruise I'd seen this morning on Cloud's arm.

"What is that?" Elena inquired. 

If compared to the bruise on Cloud, this was much larger and almost seemed more aggressive by the way it kept on subtly changing shade. It had spread all through one side of his forearm, leaving behind a couple of open sores that secreted some sort of black goo. The moment the doctor had removed the linen bandages the secretion started again fervently. He hurried to clean the goo-like pus with cotton balls dipped in disinfectant. Rufus winced at the sting of the operation, but otherwise made no sound even though it was obvious he was in pain.

"We don't know," Tseng replied to Elena's question. "It first appeared shortly after the meteor and Midgar had been destroyed, and it's been spreading ever since."

"We’ve named it  _ geostigma _ ," the doctor continued. "There have been reports of it all around the world, even though some suggest the worst cases are in the Midgar-area. It surely has something to do with the incident with the lifestream, but researching it has turned out to be very difficult. Not many people have come forth with it."

"You should check yourselves in case you're infected as well. After all, we were very close when it happened," Tseng said. He'd gone over to Rufus' side to stand watch. "But as far as we know, it's not contagious." Rufus made a small gesture and Tseng bent over him as the blond man whispered something in his ear.

I was confused, almost scared. Judging by the doctor’s expression this was something entirely new. No one, not even trained medical experts, knew how it could be treated - if it could be. And what would be the consequences? Was it lethal? If it was, then… Cloud would also...

"Reno, you have something to say?" Tseng asked sharply. He’s always very acute at reading faces, and I must have given away some of my worries.

"I… saw something like that in Edge. Some people had bruises resembling that."

"So it wasn't a waste for you to disobey orders, then," Rufus quietly said, his voice hoarse, but just as cold as it ever had been. He gave a satisfied smirk, knowing very well I wasn't going to say anything back at him.

_ Arrogant prick. _

The doctor went back to redressing the geostigma. "I've had a colleague send some herbs from Wutai, if those would possibly help with the President's condition. It might not be of any use, but what you're paying me, I prefer to try everything possible."

"Of course. Thank you, Dr. Regis," Tseng thanked. "As for you," he turned to Rude, Elena and me, "you should go back to Edge and look for any clues to the origins of this disease. If the rumors are correct, the areas around Midgar are the ones most infected. I'm surprised no one mentioned this to you Friday…"

I gave a small cough. "Well, sir, we were more focused on having fun than work." Elena and Rude were looking uncomfortable next to me. "I mean, a day off should be a day off... Don't expect us to be on our A-game all the time."

Before Tseng could reply, Rufus sharply reminded: "But  _ I _ expect you to be."

I looked down. "Yes, sir." Damn it, why was I still so spooked about Rufus? It wasn't like he anymore had the resources to really make my life living hell.

"You are dismissed," Rufus stated and waved his left hand to show us out. Tseng would, of course, stay behind.

We were barely out the door when Elena smacked me on the back of my head. "Reno, you idiot!" she hissed, careful not to speak so loud it could be heard back in the room.

"What?!" We started making our way back downstairs.

"You don't speak back to Rufus Shinra! You should know better."

"Well sorry for being me…" She'd hit me harder than I'd thought; my head was still sore when we stepped out of the inn and I lit a cigarette. I offered one for Rude and Elena, but both declined.

"So, who's the girl?" Rude immediately inquired.

"The who?" I was busy thinking about Cloud and the geostigma he apparently had. Did he even know it was some worldwide phenomenon?

"Who'd you hook up with in Edge?" Rude just wouldn't stop.

"No one, I told you already…" I wouldn't be so grumpy if he wouldn't be so nosy. Suddenly it hit me, someone I could lie about just to get him to shut up. "Fine! You remember that Honeybee Inn girl, Clarissa? I just might have bumped into her yesterday and well, she couldn't resist my charm, you know." It was the best I could come up with.

"You for real? About time!" Rude actually patted me on the back. "How long have you been trying to get her?"

"Too long for that matter." Damn I'm good at lying. "But you know, I can't commit right now so it's just about sex…"

At this point Elena gave me that disgusted look she so frequently used to give. "Oh, that's disgusting! You guys are terrible."

"We're just men," I just loved to see her get upset.

"Ugh, I'm going inside."

I glanced at her disappearing back into the inn. "You reckon she's going to change some day?"

Rude gave me one of those looks. "With you around? Never," he chuckled. "So, about Clarissa…"

It didn't really bother me to go on about some fictional encounter I'd had with an old crush, but the more I told Rude, the more he believed it was true. Occasionally I even felt like I was going too far with the descriptions, but, then again, Rude had heard worse from me during the years.

And yet, I was glad I'd be able to return to Edge soon.

 


	14. Chapter 14

_ What had changed?  _ He kept on repeating that question in his mind but had no answer. Reno was still that same cocky fool he'd always been, but at some point Cloud had decided it was okay to have these feelings. Well, the question 'what had changed' seemed almost pointless; everything had changed. He wasn't the same man he had been just a few months ago, and in the time since he'd been able to find his true self, the real Cloud. Not the Cloud who claimed to be 1st class Soldier, not the failed experiment of the mad professor Hojo, nor the mindless puppet of Sephiroth.

He had his friends to thank for it, Tifa most of all. She had been there for him every time he'd been in trouble, and every time she'd helped him back on his feet. He owed her more than just his life. He owed her the future. Cloud knew very well what feelings Tifa had for him, but he didn’t know how to respond to them.

Ever since Aeris had died he'd been afraid to let himself get attached to another human being. Even though in the end he had defeated Sephiroth, he didn't have the power to protect her from him. It pained Cloud to think that there could have been something he could have done to prevent it. As much as Tifa tried to tell him otherwise, he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt he had. It wasn't just Aeris; Zack had died for him, and what had come out of that? It seemed like everyone had sacrificed themselves for Cloud's sake, and still so many people had died along with Midgar.

He hadn't celebrated nearly as long after Sephiroth's defeat as his friends had. One of the first things he'd done was go visit the ruins of Midgar and the church in Sector 5. Aeris' church. The church was the only one left standing in the sector's ruins, but Cloud wasn't surprised. She had something to do with it, he was certain. Despite everything the city had gone through, flowers still flourished inside. He'd stay for hours, sitting close to the spot where he'd met Aeris for the first time.

It brought memories back, and it was good. Cloud had needed the peace of mind after everything he'd gone through. It almost felt like she was there, comforting him. He thought back to the day in the church. She had seemed so normal. Why did he have to drag her along? Maybe then she'd still be alive… No, Cloud knew that was a lie. If he hadn't been there for her that day Reno would have found her and who knows what Hojo had planned for her.

_ Reno… _

In some weird way the red-head reminded him of Zack and the friendship they'd had. It was the care-free grin Reno would so frequently flash around him; it was almost identical to Zack's smile, or what Cloud could remember of it. Not only that, the smile made him feel safe, but he hadn't realized this until the evening in Midgar when Reno had requested to talk with him in the train tunnels.

It was only later on in the church, thinking of the time, that Cloud understood how cold he'd been. It was quite obvious Reno had something going on for him, but even if Cloud was to turn him down, it had been a bit harsh. He'd seen it in Reno's eyes. Cloud came up with the silliest excuses for his behavior: he had bigger problems to deal with, it could have been anyone kissing him back, or that he was just overwhelmed with emotions in that situation… But no matter how much he thought of it, there was one thing he couldn't deny: he kept on thinking about the red-haired Turk.

Sure, it was stupid, but Cloud couldn't help himself. At first he'd almost been worried that Reno had been in Midgar when it was destroyed, but Tifa had at some point mentioned having spoken to Rude, so they must have survived the destruction. He had been relieved, of course not showing it to anyone. In the end, what good would come of it anyway, even if there was to happen something between the two of them.

Logically thinking, there was no future. Once people were beginning to reconstruct Edge, Cloud realized he had no time to worry about other people aside from the ones closest to him. With Reno things had been just a silly mistake. He'd been so doped on the mako energy in the lifestream that the moments he'd spent with Reno were just like drug-induced fantasy.

_ But you still keep thinking about him. _

Cloud startled. It almost sounded like Aeris had spoken those words. He even had to look around the empty church in case she was hiding behind one of the pillars. He was alone. It must have just been his imagination. Yet, those words seemed to cling onto him throughout the months rebuilding the city and Tifa's bar.

By the time the bar was finished, Tifa had had the idea of throwing a party for "the gang" as she put it. Of course, she'd forgotten to mention that included Reno, Rude and Elena, as well. By the time the truth unfolded, it was too late for Cloud to back down. He knew Tifa had some kind of plan to patch up things between him and Reno—having been in contact with Rude had just reinforced the belief that they had some kind of hostilities between them. As much as Tifa liked Rude as a friend, she knew Reno would be following him along, and that included Cloud eventually bumping into him.

He knew Tifa meant well, but the thought of meeting Reno again after such a long time was awkward, to say the least. Even if he had been thinking of the Turk the past months, the last time they'd seen each other haunted him. He knew Reno had been hurt by his words, so why would he even want to talk to him anymore. Besides, Cloud didn't want to get involved with anyone anymore. It was enough to deal with Tifa and her feelings towards him. Things shouldn't get too complicated.

But they had.

So, what had changed? Cloud smiled to himself as he realized the answer: everything. He'd watched Reno's back until the man disappeared behind a corner. The past weekend, it had felt good to let his own guard down and for once and let himself be happy. It was what she would want him to do.

Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance to move on and put everything behind him.

 


	15. Chapter 15

"Tseng, am I seeing things?"

It was a helicopter, a real Shinra helicopter. One of those I'd flown so frequently just a few months ago. Sure, the chopper was an old model, some parts rusted and the motor probably would give in if I flew it any faster than 60 knots, but in my eyes it was the most beautiful thing I'd seen. Most of the Shinra helicopters had been ordered by Tseng to help search the Midgar ruins for any survivors, so the past weeks I hadn't had the chance, not even once, to get to fly one of these beauties.

It was the following Tuesday, and Tseng had finally given us permission to go back to Edge and search for any clues on the "geostigma" that was plaguing Rufus. That part I wasn't all that excited about, but to get a chance to lift off in a real helicopter and fly it, I'd kiss up to him as much as was needed. I couldn't help but run up to the machine and inspect the steel frame and propellers. Yeah, it was nearly antique, but that was part of its beauty.

"Well, you do need to get to Edge and back quickly," I heard Tseng say a few yards behind me. "It's the only one I was able to get for you, but," he gave a small cough at my childlike fascination on the chopper, "apparently it will do."

I turned around. "Seriously, Tseng, you've made my day. She's got that old-fashioned charm. Don't worry, I'll take good care of her..."

Elena was frowning nervously. "You sure that thing will last even a single one-way trip to Edge? I'm not that convinced..."

"Even I'm doubting that thing's ability to fly," Rude remarked. He crossed his arms on his chest in disapproval.

"Oh, come on! I’ve never yet crashed a chopper, and I bet she's not going to be the first, either..." I mock-pet the windshield. "I promise not to ride you too hard, baby."

Tseng sighed. "Don't get too excited, Reno. Any damages or other expenses will be deducted from your pay."

I didn't hear him. "When can we go?" I'd been waiting for this kind of freedom for what seemed like ages. Before Midgar's destruction it was weekly that I got to fly them Shinra helicopters on various missions. Nothing compared to being able to skim through the air in a small but nimble chopper. Once or twice I'd had the chance to fly an airplane, but even that hadn't felt the same. I was itching to get up in the air.

"You'll probably need these," Tseng dangled a pair of keys in his fingers. It was a matter of seconds that I was by his side and snatched them. Rude and Elena were still giving me nervous looks, doubting the durability of the old machine. Sure, by now they were used to me piloting them around, but clearly they weren't as much at home in the air than I was.

I put an arm around Rude's shoulders. "Hey, just look at her. She wouldn't do us harm. She just needs a gentle touch." I was so excited I couldn't stay still. I started pushing Elena and Rude towards the chopper."You heard Tseng, let's get going!" I turned one last time to look at Tseng and wave a farewell to him—was that a hint of a smile I saw on his face? "We'll be back by nightfall, boss!"

It was actually a good thing the helicopter's internal radio system wasn't working well, just so I wouldn't be able to hear Elena complain about the occasional rattle of the motor or its slightly uneasy flight pattern. There really was something going on with its engine: every now and then the chopper would dip down tens of feet. At first even I'd been a bit skeptical of the chopper's ability to fly, but after a while I found it purely amusing. A few times I even laughed aloud when Rude gripped his seat in fear of us falling from the sky. For a moment I even considered taking Cloud for a short flight; if he'd been shaking after a motorcycle ride with me driving, this would probably make him piss his pants.

The chance to be up in the air again wasn't the only thing that made me so cheery. I'd been planning on seeing Cloud once we got to Edge. Maybe a quick visit, if nothing else then just to say hi. I'd been thinking about him the whole of yesterday, and it didn't help at all once I realized I didn't have his cellphone number. I'd just probably forgotten to ask for it. I had, however, sneaked Tifa's number from Rude's phone at one point, but I wasn't going to go on spamming her. Tifa was already suspicious of our sudden get-together.

I wondered what lies Cloud had told her about us. Or maybe he'd got a lecture from her immediately at his return. Damn, that girl could easily compare to Tseng whenever she chose that sharp tone I'd heard during the weekend. I didn't get it, they seemed like an old couple with Cloud pussywhipped into submission. I mean, come on, she's just a girl. Why should I be jealous of her anyway? It was pretty obvious which one of us he had those kinds of feelings towards.

Whatever. I tried not to think of it anymore and instead concentrate on piloting the helicopter the last miles to Edge. Apparently the trip was pushing its limits, since the final minutes the chopper's engine seemed to be coughing a lot more and those slight drops seemed to be come more often. Even I started to get some nervous butterflies in my stomach, not sure if she was going to last. Finally, I managed to land the thing on the periphery of Edge. As expected, some children had gathered, excited to watch the flying machine's arrival.

"I really hope you weren't trying to get us killed, Reno!" Elena cried out the moment I turned off the engine. Next to me, Rude was looking rather sick.

"Blame Tseng for getting this piece of junk for me to fly," I retaliated quickly. "Come on, we need to get going."

Elena wasn't going to just let me be. "You better get this thing fixed before we head back or I'm taking the bus." She glared at me as she jumped down onto steady ground. I just rolled my eyes at her. I couldn't care less, even though she was right. The helicopter wouldn't make it back to Kalm unless a few repairs were made.

"Hey, listen... What if you go on ahead into Midgar and look for whatever Tseng wants us to find out and I fix this one's engine?" I gave the hull of the helicopter a few sharp knocks.

"You're lazy as ever," Rude pointed out, climbing down.

"Bah! Apparently you've never tried fixing a helicopter before. It's much more work than you'd think." I didn't know any better how to fix the old machine, but I sure wasn't going to let Rude know that. Back when Midgar still was standing Shinra had their own engineers to do those things. I wouldn't get my hands dirty—literally, at least. And besides, this could be a good excuse to go check up on Cloud without these two trailing me.

"Whatever," Elena sighed. "Just let him do his stuff. We need to get back home, anyway." I wouldn't call Kalm 'home' quite yet, but apparently Elena's home was wherever Tseng was.

After a while of arguing whether or not to take me along, Rude had finally given in and he and Elena had left to investigate the slummed areas of Edge. Not all people had been as fortunate to be able to build new houses for themselves immediately, and instead all they could afford was crappy shacks from scavenged pieces of metal. These new slums weren't that much different from the ones of the sectors. Things hadn't changed that much in the end.

I was glad that I didn't have to go there right away. The slums had never been my thing, and besides, having been involved with Shinra, many people there weren't all that appreciative towards our work. That's why most of the time we weren't allowed to go down into the sector slums without backup. I didn't think this was any different. The same gangs still existed no matter if their original territories had been demolished. Especially after the incident with Don Corneo's favorite girl Clarissa, I wasn't in much favor amongst his lackeys. Even if the Don had had the little 'accident' in Wutai, I doubt his men would have a grudge against me still.

I was just happy that I could spend some free time before really getting back to work. I wasn't going to waste my time just standing idly by the helicopter. I started the familiar route to the 7th Heaven in hopes that Cloud might be there. Maybe surprise him and if Tifa wasn't around we could spend some quality time together...

I grinned. I'd been missing him, but at the same time I'd also been the cheeriest I'd ever been since the destruction of Midgar. Rude just shrugged it off as some victorious high from finally having seduced the former Honeybee Inn girl for myself. I was fine by having him think that—for the time being, at least. I'd never really thought of the idea of going public with Cloud about our relationship, but something in my head said that too many people wouldn't approve of it so I guess it had to be a secret for now. I actually liked it, Cloud not that much. I'd noticed that he got tense every time we'd spoken with Tifa in the same room, but at the same time it was fun to watch him get so flustered.

The walk to Tifa's bar was a lot shorter than I'd remembered. At this time of the day a few workmen were helping out with painting the facade, Tifa among them. I wasn't sure if I should just wait there until she recognized me, but I didn't have much time to wonder as one of the workers pointed my appearance to Tifa with a quick nod. Tifa had been on a stool trying to reach the upper window frames. She gave me a questioning look at first but it melded into a smile in a second.

"Reno!" she called and jumped down from the stool, a paint bucket and a brush still in her hands. She tried wiping away some paint stains from her face but it only made it spread. Not only that, her clothes were splattered with the gray paint as well, and her hair tied up in a neat ponytail. "What brings you here again?"

Was she just being courteous or was she really happy?

"Yo, we had this assignment here and on the way our chopper kinda got busted. You know where Cloud is?" I hoped I didn't sound too clingy.

"Cloud? Why do you want him? If you need fixing up a machine, call Cid. I think he should be somewhere around these parts of the world now."

"I thought Cloud might have some spare parts I could use. With all the stuff he does with his bike, I'm sure he'd know something. And besides, I don't have Cid's number."

Tifa shoved the paint bucket in my hands so suddenly that I almost spilled some on my suit. It was the last one I hadn't entirely destroyed, so I was apt to keeping it clean as long as I could. Tseng would so yell at me if I came back with paint stains all over it. Tifa pulled her cell phone from her pocket, careful not to stain it with the paint. After a moment of scanning through her contacts, she held the screen to me and showed Cid Highwind's number.

I muttered a quick thanks as I tried typing the numbers on my own phone—it wasn't easy, trying to prevent staining myself from the paint. "So, where _is_ Cloud? I thought I'd thank him for the ride back to Kalm."

Tifa took back the paint bucket. "Oh, he's on a delivery at Fort Condor," she replied absentmindedly. "You know, I'm sorry for acting all suspicious last weekend. When he came back we had a discussion and he explained everything. But you do understand that I can't help but be a bit dubious about you Turks. Or former Turks, whatever you want to call yourselves..."

I didn't pay much attention to her apologies. "What delivery?"

"Um... Strife Delivery Service?" Tifa gave me a weird look. "He didn't tell you? It's just something he started to get his mind off things here in Edge. I think this one was to Fort Condor, so he'll be a while. But hey, call Cid if you need help with your helicopter."

"Oh, well then... Uh...mind telling him my thanks when he gets back?" Tifa nodded and turned back to the painting. It was clear I didn't have any excuse to linger there any longer. I waved a thank you before retreating.

I had no intentions of calling Cid; I'd just wanted to see Cloud. Why hadn't he told me about some delivery company he had? Was it intentional, or had he just forgot to mention about it? I mean, sure, I hadn't told him about everything I was doing in Kalm, but still, it felt unfair that he wouldn't tell me about the delivery service. No wonder he took such good care of his motorcycle. It had to withstand a lot of mileage if he was traveling around the continent. At least he could have told me he wasn't always going to be at Edge.

Come to think of it, I don't think I ever got a chance to have his phone number. Somehow I'd assumed he was going to call me, and never bothered worrying if I was to be the one to call him. If I had his number, I pretty sure would have already called him too many times. Instead, I'd heard nothing from him. I didn't like the feeling of doubt that started creeping into my thoughts. What if Cloud had begun to regret everything? Why hadn't he called me?

Or maybe I was being paranoid. It had, after all, been only two days since we'd seen each other. He probably had just forgotten to mention about his line of work nowadays, and was just busy with all the was I to assume he was going to be waiting for me twentyfour-seven, like everything revolved around me.

_Cloud has a life of his own, snap out of this, Reno!_

The best I could do right now was to find some sort of mechanic who could actually repair the helicopter. I know Tifa meant well by giving me Cid Highwind's number, but for some reason I didn't feel that comfortable asking his help. Sure, the man was good with flying machines and the sort, but he wasn't a person who'd embrace Shinra or any of its employees warmly. I'd definitely have to worry about the helicopter crashing midway back to Kalm if Cid did any operations on its motor.

Before I had a chance to think of any other options, my phone rang. For the time it took me to get it out of my pocket I wished it would be Cloud, but once I saw 'Elena' read on the screen I was immediately discouraged. I didn't have a chance to greet her with a hello before Elena's urgent voice sounded from the other end.

"Reno, you should come here immediately. This is a way bigger problem than we expected..."

  



	16. Chapter 16

Elena had sent me their approximate location in the sector six ruins, close to the place that once used to be the holdout of Don Corneo. She had sounded extremely urgent, but I still doubted things were as bad as she'd let me know during the phone call. I mean, what's the worst that could happen, after all we've been through? Elena had almost sounded like the sky was collapsing down on her. I almost smiled at the pun, knowing exactly well enough how bad the destruction had been when I'd let the plate of sector 7 fall. 

People were scavenging here and there all throughout the way up to the Wall Market, but once I did find a small but used path through the rubble, everyone seemed to disappear. It was the exact opposite from what I remembered the market to be; quiet and no one in sight. There were no streets anymore, and instead a small path twisting around the fallen buildings. A few times I even had to attempt climbing piles of debris to make my way forwards. Seriously, where the fuck were Elena and Rude?

At one point I'd finally torn a hole in my jacket, and immediately I knew I was going to hear about it from Tseng. It couldn't be helped. I was either going to have to go onwards, or turn around and try to make my way back through the heaps of trash, and neither sounded like a good option . The only chance I had was to find Elena and Rude, and once I did, she would definitely hear from me when not to summon Reno just for nothing.

By the time I was trying to get past the ruins of the old gym, dodging barbells and whatnot exercise equipment–I didn't really work out at all so how would I know the names of all of them–I started to hear sounds. It was almost like a strange humming sound combined with whimpers. My first thought was whether some kind of monster was lurking around, and tightened the grip on my electro-rod. That would have been the last straw, to get attacked by some creature above all of this.

No monsters seemed to come out and once I relaxed, I noticed the voices were human, and coming from somewhere in front of me. Right towards Don Corneo's mansion, just like Elena had said. There was a small clearing, but after that a wall of a wrecked building blocking the way. I had to take a tour around the hill of metal and plywood, but once I had, the view changed entirely.

What at one point had been the open space in front of Corneo's mansion was now filled with small tents and shacks. The kind you usually saw in field hospitals during a war. Some people were huddled near or inside the tents, while others solemnly hurried between the mansion–or what was left of it–and the shacks with several medical supplies in hand. Even though the sun was shining brightly, the general mood was far from it. The sounds I'd heard a few moments ago were the combination of people speaking hushed to each other and the painful cries from whatever they were treating inside the tents. Occasionally someone would step out of the tents. Doctors, some with their white coats and some without, and apparently the patients who were helping each others stand and walk forwards, or then just limping forwards with crutches.

I didn't know what to say, and instead I just stood there. Were all these people infected with this... geostigma? I skimmed the people present, but most of them didn't appear to have the distinguishable bruises. I didn't want to stare too much, and instead tried to scan the area for Elena and Rude with no luck. Well, I might as well take a walk around the place since standing there might be considered a bit creepy. Maybe someone inside the mansion knew their whereabouts.

It was about twenty feet in front of me that the tent row began. Someone was keeping watch outside each one, but every time I passed one of the tents I could either hear pained groans coming from inside, or the gentle voice of a doctor trying to make sense of the symptoms. By the fifth tent I totally lost any last bits of cheer I'd had; the circumstances were more than depressing.

Not only that, the moment I'd walked past the tent's entrance I nearly got knocked back by, what at first seemed like an invisible force, someone storming out from inside. Out of habit, I swore really loud before realizing this might have not been the appropriate circumstances for it. Just as fast, I turned around to demand some sort of apology, but once I had I was totally dumbstruck. There was a young man, not any older than myself, on all fours on the ground. He was huddled there like a baby, and before I could react, a young woman ran out of the tent and kneeled beside him. The man reacted to her touch violently, shoving her down on the ground.

"Get away from me!" he yelled. The woman started sobbing hysterically, and the man turned his eyes on me. "You! Go away, demon!" I didn't just see horror in his face, but extreme pain and sorrow.

But what really shocked me was what had happened to his face. One half of his entire face was covered with the dark bruising, but this was accompanied by open sores all down his neck and bare chest. What otherwise could have been fairly handsome features were now distorted from the sores and pain. One of his eyes had been welded shut by an exceptionally large sore that secreted something resembling thick, black ooze down his cheeks. He was reaching out to me, but before he could, another man ran outside with a syringe in his hands. It was just a matter of seconds that he injected its contents into the artery in his neck. It then took only a few seconds that the blabbering man slumped against him, unconscious.

"My apologies, sir," the doctor, apparently, told me. Another woman rushed outside and helped him drag the diseased man back inside the tent.

What the hell had that just been? Shit, I was creeped out by the desperate look on the man's face, not even to speak of the sores and that black ooze. I was so dumbstruck that I couldn't move from the spot. Was this what the geostigma did to people? I almost felt like being sick, but kept my reflexes under control. Not that it helped much; a familiar hand slammed on my shoulder that made me jump.

"There you are, Reno," Elena remarked.

"Holy shit, don't do that, Rude!" I'd been freaked out enough for this day, and sure didn't need Rude giving me those sudden scares. He only shrugged, looking as somber as the rest of the people around. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Geostigma." I probably imagined it, but it felt like Rude's voice had wavered a bit. Maybe he was just as shocked of the circumstances as I was.

"Reno, you should come, there's someone you need to see," Elena said with real empathy in her voice. I knew that out of us three, she was the one who would sympathize for these people. She turned around and walked towards the mansion's doors. "What took you so long to get here, anyway?"

My legs were still slightly shaking from the surprise, but I managed to keep up with her pace. "You try getting through Wall Market; it's trashed all the way."

Elena gave a small cough. "You know, you could have circled the whole Wall Market. They've made a nice little road around that brings here. Much nicer than climbing around trash..."

"Well how the hell could I have known it?!"

Elena didn't answer. We had reached the mansion's doors that were pulled open. I followed her inside just to see that most of the second floor had been almost entirely destroyed. The lobby was otherwise filled with shelves of medical equipment, and to my right I saw a glimpse of the room next door. It looked like some sort of reception area, most likely filled more with paranoid citizens than really people with geostigma.

Elena nodded towards a white-coated man in his 40's who was counting the equipment by one of the shelves near the stairs. He was the average height with brown hair with the hairline starting to recede. A stethoscope dangled around his neck. There was something familiar about him, even though I couldn't quite put my finger on it, and judging by Elena's look I felt like I was supposed to know him. I didn't, or at least didn't remember. After being a Turk for a few years you learned to recognize faces that were crucial for your survival, so I could assume this man had never been a threat to Shinra or to me.

"Doctor Heinman, we're ready," Elena said loud enough for him to stop counting and turn to us. Still I had no idea who this person was. He walked up to me and extended a hand. I wasn't that keen on grabbing it in return.

"Who're you?" it sounded sharper than I'd intended. The doctor was a bit baffled by my reaction, and withdrew his hand.

"I, uh... Used to work for Shinra, also. I’ve treated you Turks many times during the years. You seemed to get into a lot of… accidents. Occupational hazard?"

So that's why he felt so familiar. Not that I'd ever paid attention to the doctors patching up whatever cuts I'd got. "So you're one of those who ran once the tower got destroyed?" For some reason it felt good to think that I at least had stuck with Tseng during all of this. So many employees had simply disappeared during the chaos in Midgar.

The doctor Heinman looked down nervously. Seemed like the Turks still had the upper hand when it came to company business. "I've been busy with the treatment of the civilians these past months," his voice was shaking.

Elena gave me a shove. "Oh, come on, Reno. Don’t be an ass. Everyone did what they could to survive; you shouldn't judge others because of it."

"The President will be wanting regular reports on the situation here." Of course it was Rude who you could trust to be professional. "Even if it seems insignificant, we'll want to hear about it." The man's face went a shade paler at the mention of Rufus. I wondered if any of this had had an effect on Rude. Sometimes he was annoyingly serious.

"Of- of course," the knowledge of Rufus' existence still was capable of frightening the former employees. "This is, after all, something we should take seriously."

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, finally broken by Elena's sigh. "How bad is this? Is there anything we can do to help?"

"This...geostigma. The severity seems to vary from person to person. Some people survive only a few weeks, and others show no signs of it getting worse for months." The doctor looked down in shame. "Some people say this is all because of the mako energy we've been using. What Shinra has dealt onto them." He lifted his gaze to Elena. "I feel like we owe the people of Midgar for all of this, as Shinra employees. If this really is because of what the company's done, I... I don't believe we should ever be forgiven."

"I don't think I owe crap to anyone," I scoffed. "Even if this is the cause of Mako energy, shouldn't Rufus be the one to own up to his mistakes? There's nothing I owe to anyone else but myself."

It was enough that the public thought Shinra was the cause for this whole mess. If I went down the path of guilt and remorse, there probably wasn't a being on earth who I didn't owe, considering everything I'd done as a Turk. There wouldn't be an end to it.

"Reno, that's a bit harsh..." Elena scolded. "Haven't you looked around you? Just look at how the people are suffering and dying. And you say we don't have any part to play in this mess?"

"I'm not saying that..." I remembered the face of the young man outside. It did make me feel uneasy to think that this could all be because of the corruption in Shinra. "I feel like we have to look forward and not dwell on what we could have done differently." Wait, had Elena said people were dying? "They're dying?"

Doctor Heinman nodded slowly. "This condition is... fatal. It eats at the subject's immune system and finally death is inevitable. We're doing our best to try to slow down the disease's progress, but so far all we can do is administer painkillers."

I had this disgusting feeling in the pit of my stomach. Fatal. That means death. Was this what Cloud had? He... is going to die? No, it must have been just a bruise on his arm. It couldn't...  _ He _ couldn't... After all that he'd been through, was this asshole of a plague going to be his end? There surely had to be some kind of cure, how could this have reigned so long with no one knowing how to prevent it?

Elena and the doctor were still talking, but I didn't hear anything. I had to call Cloud. Tell him what was really going on. Maybe he could look for a cure, also. I could help. The man outside with his sores and whatever he had been hallucinating, was that what Cloud would eventually become? Things really were worse than we'd thought. I did my best to hide the panic on my face, but apparently Elena and Rude were just as shocked about the information the doctor was telling them that they felt the same.

There was no cure.

**

I was in that weird state of shock, disbelief and worry the whole time even after we'd left the Wall Market. It had been like I was separated from the world in a bubble and unable to hear anything from outside. All I could think of was Cloud, and the more I thought of him plagued by the sores bleeding black goo, the more I panicked. And it sure didn't help that I didn't have his phone number. I just wanted to call him and make sure he was all right.

Elena and Rude were equally solemn, and it felt like the sunny day had suddenly clouded. It was only once we'd got back to Edge that Rude finally opened his mouth: "How's the helicopter, Reno?"

I nearly replied "what helicopter?" but remembered then that I'd promised to fix it. "Cid should be somewhere around these parts. I got his number from Tifa, just didn't manage to call him, yet." At the same time my stomach made a huge rumbling sound. We hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast, and it was already 4pm.

"Rude, you call Cid. I'll go with Reno to get something to eat, ok?" Elena nudged me, as if we had some kind of secret between us. I didn't really bother to question her behavior. The phone in my pocket was itching for me to call Tifa, or anyone who might know something of Cloud's whereabouts.

"Yeah... you call Cid," I muttered. I almost felt sick just from worry at the moment.

Rude shrugged. "I'll be waiting at the helicopter, meet you there, then?"

Elena nodded and started to drag me with her to the opposite direction. I wasn't that much interested in talking with her, and luckily she seemed to notice the same thing. Every ten seconds I thought I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket, and instinctively moved my hand to check. Of course, I was just imagining things. I still kept on hoping that for some reason this would be the time Cloud would call me. Why hadn't he yet? The more I thought about it, the more I missed him and the more I got worried that for some reason maybe the geostigma had suddenly taken a hold of him and he was somewhere in a ditch crying out in pain as the sores overtook his whole body.

_ You're just paranoid _ , I tried telling myself. It wasn't much help. I was just following Elena to wherever she was leading us. And again I felt like this time the my phone really rang. I even had to take it out of my pocket to make sure. Nope, no one.

"You expecting a call?" Elena finally remarked. "You've been checking your phone all the time..."

Damn it, I thought I'd been subtle about it. "No, just imagining." We turned a corner, and only after a few steps I realized Elena had stopped entirely.

"Reno... I know." There was a weird sincerity in her voice.

The hairs in my neck stood up. I didn't know why, but that voice I'd never heard before. "Know what?" I didn't dare turn. There was only one secret I'd been hiding from Rude and Elena, and that was...

"About you and Cloud."

Okay, another reason not to turn around: my face went bright red as my hair. Silence. All I could hear was the blood gushing in my ears. Had I really heard her correctly? Or maybe... she didn't mean it like that, like the way me and Cloud were together. I even had the thought of 'just kill her now and no one will know' go through my mind.

Elena's hand gently touched my shoulder."Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

I pushed her away. "I- I don't know what you're talking about."

She took a stride to stand in front of me and gave a warm smile. "You should be a better liar than that."

I'd been holding my breath the entire time, and finally let it out. "You... how...?"

"It’s hard not to notice," she gave a snide grin and added quickly: "Oh, Tseng and Rude don't know. Wonder what would happen if they did, though..."

Why was she telling me this? I still had the idea of killing her here swimming around my head. "I... I know it's stupid. I mean, I'm not into that, really." How the hell had I not been able to conceal this from her. My face was burning from shame. Why?

"No, it's not stupid. Come on, we need to keep going." She took a hold of my arm and forced me to walk forwards. Good thing she did. I felt like everything had been on pause up until now, and finally things started to move again. "It's been pretty obvious, you know. Besides, now at least I'm positive you two have something going on."

Curse me and my sudden reactions!

"But how...? I mean, how do you... But I haven't..." Yeah, I was speechless.

"Well you've been at it for a long time. Every time Cloud's mentioned you get this look in your eyes. And you have to admit that you staying here that weekend was a bit suspicious." She gave out a small laugh. "A woman notices these things, you know."

"You must think I'm a real idiot."

"Not really. I don't care who you're sticking it into, as long as it doesn't affect your job. Reno," she stopped and looked right into my eyes, "this isn't a time for you to get too involved with anyone. I won't tell, as long as you don't mess things up with him. Just what doctor Heinman said: we do owe this planet a lot, and if Cloud's the only one on your mind you can't do your job."

"You threatening me?" What the hell was her point?

"No, Reno. I'm just saying for you to be careful, okay? I'm not sure if you know, but Tifa's head over heels in love with Cloud, so what do you think will happen if she hears about this? At the moment we need her help with this whole situation, so either keep this quiet or end it. Believe me, it's not good to get too mixed up in relationships."

"Yeah, you'd know. Tseng's not your type at all–" Shouldn't have said that; Elena smacked me right in the middle of my face. Okay, I deserved it.

"I'm serious! My point is, you're not alone in this anymore. If you got any problems, just come talk to me. Come, we still need to go get something to eat."

Great, now I had Elena spying on me. She wasn't nearly as discreet as I could be, so it was going to be a matter of time before she spilled this for everyone. I seriously needed to talk with Cloud, now. Too bad I had to wait until the evening before he would eventually call me.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on updating this fic, even though I feel like it doesn't reflect my skill as a writer today. I've been noticing so many annoying tropes I've fallen into, but I will stay strong, try not to mind, and keep posting !

They had agreed on meeting at a motel halfway between Fort Condor and Edge. It wasn't like Cloud to be late, but maybe it was the butterflies in his stomach that made him take the side roads on his way. There wasn't much debate on what the purpose of this retreat was, and that certainly didn't help Cloud at all. As much as he had missed Reno the past few days, he hadn't had the nerves to call him, not even once.

But this was different; they had the privacy and time to just be with each other. The card key from the reception slid into the door's lock. The time it took him to press the handle and push the door open he wasn't able to breathe. The excitement was too much. He hadn't even realized it himself how much he actually wanted to see the red-head.

It took him a few seconds to find the light switch in the otherwise dark room—enough time for Cloud to wonder if Reno even was there—but once the lights did flash on all his worries vanished. Of course Reno was there, and, judging by the way he was slouched over an armchair, he'd been waiting for a while already. Cloud almost expected to hear some snide remark about blinding him with the lights all of a sudden.

Instead, Reno gave him a charming grin. "I've been waiting." He still had the dark blue Turk uniform, but he hadn't bothered to button the white shirt underneath. Seeing even the small patch of Reno's bare chest made Cloud want to speed the casual small-talk altogether and go straight "to business."

"You know," Reno slowly got up from the chair and walked towards him, "I think you owe me for not calling. It's been way too long. Weeks, even." Wait, had it really been that long? Cloud wasn't sure anymore. There wasn't much of anything else in his head at the moment except Reno. He hadn't realized how much he yearned for that man's company.

"I guess I do owe you. I wonder how I'm going to be able to repay it…" In his own, twisted way Cloud enjoyed being told what to do by Reno. He took a few steps towards the Turk so that he aligned himself between Reno and the bed. For a moment he thought Reno would step up to him and ravage him with a kiss. It would have been too typical. Reno gave him a shove backwards onto the bed. Of course Cloud could have dodged, but this was part of the game, part of the foreplay.

"Now listen here,  _ Spike _ ," Reno kept that sly grin on his face and just as slowly climbed on top of the blond. He leaned forwards and took hold of Cloud's hands, moving them behind the blonde's head. A shiver ran down Cloud’s back at the dominant touch. "You have no idea how many nights I've had to jack off to just a memory of you." Reno reached for something on his belt. "I would've thought you'd had the conscience to at least leave a message. I'm a bit disappointed. This time I should make sure you're not getting away that easily."

Cloud was too slow. Even if he'd wanted to avoid Reno's next move, he was too enchanted by the words. Only after the flash of glinting metal and a sound of 'click' did he realize his left wrist was cuffed in a cold embrace of those steel Shinra handcuffs.

"What are you-?" Even though he was taken aback by Reno's sudden movement, Cloud let him cuff his other wrist, too, to the bedpost. He even managed a seductive smile as a reply. It was pretty clear that Reno, also, enjoyed the situation. He had Cloud rather well pinned between his legs, practically sitting on top of him. He yearned for a taste of the red-haired man's lips, something to prove this was really happening. He even tried lifting his upper body, but the way his arms were now shackled to the bed he couldn't get up any more than a few inches.

Reno leaned back and looked smugly at him. "That's what you get for keeping in silence for so long." He took a long pause to look at Cloud, sprawled underneath, hunger in his gaze. The gray eyes lingered a moment longer on Cloud's crotch. "I can see you're happy to see me." It was insane how Reno could, just with his words, get Cloud so turned on. And this time Cloud wasn't even going to pretend to play hard to get.

"Please…" It was a desperate whimper, but enough to get Reno's attention. He leaned forwards to suckle Cloud's neck and earlobe. Cloud tried his best to not react too strongly but Reno knew exactly how to push his buttons.

While he kept nibbling Cloud's ear Reno's hands wandered down his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and teasing the blonde's crotch. It was excruciatingly slow that Reno did unzip his pants. That's where he paused. "You know what I'm planning on doing?"

Cloud didn't understand to answer at all at first. He only hummed a response, unable to articulate anything further.

Reno leaned even closer to his ear and whispered, barely audible: "I think I'll just fuck you senseless." At the same time his hand grabbed his arousal, making Cloud lurch up against Reno's hand. A soft moan of pleasure was the reply.

As much as Cloud enjoyed Reno's hand in work, there was something sharp against his back. Something buzzing and digging against his spine. Maybe this was another one of Reno's kinky games, he wasn't sure. And as if that wasn't enough, Cloud could have sworn he heard a ringing coming from outside their room, constantly growing louder. He did his best to close his eyes and concentrate on the feelings Reno was giving him. By now Reno had pulled down Cloud's pants entirely and moved down his chest in wet kisses.

"Come on, Reno… Please…" Cloud tried urging him on. He managed to lift his head just enough to see Reno seductively raise an eyebrow and give him a glance before taking his whole member into his mouth. Cloud's head arched back and his eyes opened from the bliss.

Blue sky.

Cloud stared at the sky for a multitude of moments, his mind trying to figure out what had just happened and where he was. Then, slowly, some memories began coming back to him. Or to be more precise, he was reminded of the current reality by the sharp sting against his back, familiar from the dream he'd been having.

His phone.

Cloud was still slightly baffled and groggy from his sudden wake-up. The dream had felt so real he couldn't really determine if it had been the reality and this was the dream. He turned to his side on the grass and pinpointed his ringing phone. Who else would it be but Tifa?

"What's the matter, Tifa?"

"Did I wake you?"

Apparently he'd sounded drowsier than he'd meant to. "No, I just… Yeah, I took a nap and just woke up… I'm a bit ahead of schedule so I thought it wouldn't hurt."

"About that… Reno came by, he was asking after you. Seemed like he had something important to tell. You might want to call him back. Anyway, we're pretty much finished painting the outside. How far away are you right now? You going to make it back by nightfall?"

Oh, Tifa… She always had too many questions stuffed into one sentence. Cloud knew it was just the way she was. She just wanted to make sure he was all right. Sometimes it felt like she was overprotective. "I'll be there. See you then." It didn't feel fair to Tifa to end the phone call so abruptly, but what she had said about Reno had brought back the dream he'd had.

It felt uncomfortable to think about it. Cloud had never even given it a second thought what he felt of Reno and the past few days they'd been separate. Right now he didn't even want to think about it. As much as it did feel right, he wasn't sure if he should get that involved with someone. Even handling Tifa seemed sometimes to be a mission impossible.

He didn't know for sure anymore. Falling asleep had totally messed up his plans and thoughts about the day. It bothered Cloud to have a dream like that. As much as he did enjoy Reno's company, the idea of fantasizing about the man still felt… weird. And now, he did feel guilty he hadn't called Reno before. He should do that. Tonight.


	18. Chapter 18

"Welcome back, Cloud!"

No matter how bad of a day Cloud had had, Tifa always greeted him so warmly once he returned back home. And even though Tifa had no idea of all the thoughts in his head, this time Cloud seemed even more welcome than usual. After the drive through the cool evening air the warmth of the bar embraced him and the faint smell of cooking food made Cloud's stomach rumble. Tifa very quickly bounced into view from the kitchen doorway, an apron over her normal clothes.

"I'm glad you made it back safe." She really did look relieved, as if there had been a reason to be worried. She walked up to him and gave him a long embrace.

"Did something happen?" Cloud took off the leather coat he'd used as some sort of warmth during the ride. He was careful not to show Tifa the bruise on his arm that Reno had noted a few days ago. Sure, it had been there for a while, and Cloud knew what its origins really were: geostigma. On his way to the kitchen he grabbed a long-sleeved sweater from the back of a chair and pulled it on.

"Well, no. Or a bit yeah. The Turks were here, but I'll fill you in while you eat. We've got a guest here, too!" She didn't get to continue any further. Even before Cloud saw who their guest was he could easily smell him. And so did Tifa. "Cid! No smoking inside!" she yelled at the gruff man sitting by the kitchen table.

Cid Highwind didn't so much as blink at her scolding, but rather waited a few seconds before obediently putting out the cigarette against the table – Tifa frowned even more. "You dare deny an old man one of his last  few pleasures in life..." he grumbled.

"You keep that up and you won't be able to enjoy life for much longer," Tifa continued her mumbling while glancing into the oven to see if the food was ready. She then turned towards a pot on the stove, dipping a fork into the boiling water to check if the potatoes were done already.

The kitchen had this strange scent of tobacco and meat lingering around, but to Cloud, at least, it felt homey. Or maybe it was all the time they'd spent traveling in Cid's airship that he'd got used to the smell. Either way, it was nice to see the man, even if he had a fouler mouth than Reno.

"What brings you here, Cid?" Cloud took a seat on the end of the table.

"It's those Turks. They rode one crap-ass chopper here from Kalm. That pilot most likely overworked the poor thing's engine and it got all busted. And thanks to this lady here," Cid's voice dripped with sarcasm, "I was the one they called to get that pile of junk fixed! It took me the whole afternoon and what did I get from it? Just a simple 'thank you' and then they're off."

"Hey, I'm giving you a place to sleep and food for the evening!" Tifa knew Cid was partly joking with the comment about her, but, after all, they had all gotten used to him and his way of speaking. "I'd like you to show some respect or you're going to be sleeping outside."

"I heard they were snooping around sector six." Cid didn't pay much attention to Tifa. "Or, you know, the care-center that's been put up there. It's suspicious, if you ask me. That Rufus has some kind of a plan, I'm telling you. There's no other reason why the Turks would be hanging around here."

"You don't think they just want to help?" Cloud suggested. Honestly, he didn't think that, either. As much as he knew Reno, the man wouldn't help another being unless it was for his own benefit in some way or if he got paid to do it. He assumed the other Turks to be pretty much the same.

Cid smashed his fist against the table so suddenly it made Cloud startle. "No way! They're here on some sort of business. I'm sure that son of a bitch Rufus Shinra has some evil plan he's trying to put into action here."

"I think you're being a bit paranoid here, Cid." Tifa lifted the boiling pot off the stove and poured the steaming water into the sink. "What I've heard, Rufus is in such a bad shape he doesn't have the energy to plot against us. And besides, Reeve's told me Rufus’s agenda is to help this planet from here on."

"The whole Shinra company should stick to their own business, or whatever is left of it, and let the real people of Midgar get on with their lives."

"You didn't mind them last Friday..." Cloud gently reminded the man.

Cid only frowned and looked away with a sour expression. He really hadn't changed at all. By the time Tifa had taken the roast out of the oven and brought the potatoes from the pot onto the table, even Cid had to stop pouting and enjoy the meal.

As she divided the food into portions, Tifa was surprisingly solemn. "Cloud, how are things in Fort Condor?"

Cloud sighed. "Not good. The geostigma's bad, almost as bad as here. There's a lot of refugees who've made camp in the area, but it's not much help when so many are sick. They could really use some help there..."

"I feel so bad for all those people. I guess we were just really lucky to avoid any contamination," Tifa muttered, cutting her potatoes into smaller pieces.

Normally Cloud would have said something encouraging, but, given his circumstances, he didn't really want to talk about the geostigma all that much. His own had only appeared maybe a week ago, but he didn't want to worry others over it. And in some part of his mind he really did think he deserved it and whatever there was to come. It made him angry to think that this plague was somehow linked to Sephiroth's defeat, and thus making him partly responsible for it.

"So no one knows what caused this or how to cure it?" Cid questioned, even though he knew the answer as well.

"No." Cloud knew Tifa would only worry too much if she knew he had been infected. "There was one thing, though..." He wasn't sure if he should tell Tifa, but he'd started already. "One of the elders there spoke of this spirit healer residing close to the mountains. They said he once was an apprentice of Bugenhagen, and he might know something about this. I think I should go question him tomorrow. It might take a few days."

Tifa leaned forwards and touched Cloud's arm, unaware that it was the place where Cloud's own geostigma manifested. He slightly flinched, but Tifa didn't seem to notice. "You're working too hard to find a cure for this. Stay here a while before you go out and get a good night's sleep."

"Tifa..." It was hard to say no to her concerned face. "If there's even the slightest chance that we caused this, I  _ have _ to help them."

"There you go at it again!" Cid scolded. "We had no idea things would come to this, and even if we had, Sephiroth couldn't have been allowed to go on. It's the better option from two bad ones."

"It might be... But I have to go, Tifa." If there was something he could do to amend his sins and the death of so many friends, Cloud wasn't going to stop until he succeeded. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I can't force you to stay, either..." Tifa sounded a bit hurt, but concealed most of it. She quickly turned to Cid to change the subject. "So, how's Shera? We didn't get to talk that much last Friday."

"She's the usual. We've been working on a new airship, it’s going to be even better than the  _ Highwind _ . You should come and see it, shouldn't be long until we can make the maiden voyage. I'll be bringing her here first thing."

Cloud wasn't sure if Cid was referring to Shera or his new ship. It was nice to see that someone, at least, had managed to start a new life and move on. He didn't know how to, yet. There was something that kept him clinging to the past. Aeris, Sephiroth and... Zack. It just couldn't be a coincidence that the geostigma began appearing after Sephiroth's defeat, and it meant the whole world was in danger. Not that much had changed, after all.

But things had.

To start with, there was Reno. Even the thought of him made Cloud feel butterflies in his stomach. It was pretty obvious that for the first time in a long while he really cared for another person. But at the same time he wanted to protect the ones he cared for from any kind of pain or strife. It almost felt wrong for him to be happy, and that's just what he had been the past weekend with Reno. He had been genuinely happy and content. If only things could have stayed like that forever, if only Reno could be there with him right now...

Cloud hadn't even finished his plate, but once he realized how much he did miss Reno, he didn't have an appetite anymore. He had to call the Turk. Tifa and Cid were a bit startled when he got up suddenly. "Thanks for the meal, Tifa, but I think I should be going to bed already."

"But you didn't even finish..." Tifa's voice faded away when Cloud hurried from the kitchen and up to his room. Cloud wasn't going to think of her right now. He wanted to hear Reno's voice on the phone; something to ease the longing.

Back in his room, Cloud took off the long-sleeved sweater and from the mirror took a look at the stigma on his arm. It was still the same size and didn’t show signs of beginning sores, luckily. Hopefully he could find a cure before it spread any further. Cloud fumbled for the phone in his pocket and quickly located Reno's number. Once he pressed the 'call' button, it seemed like forever to ring on the other end.

He couldn't stay still while he waited for Reno to answer, and kept pacing back and forth in his small room. Cloud almost gave up after the fifteenth ring, but right when he was about to answer he heard a click and Reno's tired voice on the other end.

"Mmh... who's this?" Reno sounded like he was only half awake. Even though, Cloud sighed in relief.

"It's me," Cloud hoped Reno would recognize him.

It took a few seconds for Reno to reply, and during the time Cloud swore he could see Reno hastily pulling himself together and try to snap out of his sleep. "Cloud!"

Cloud glanced at his watch. It was past 10pm."Sorry to call so late. Is it a bad time?"

"No, no!" Reno was talking in a hushed voice. "Just gimme a sec, I'll go somewhere where I can talk..."

"You came to see me today?" Actually, the butterflies didn't ease at all now that he'd heard Reno's voice. He could faintly hear a door close on the other end of the call, and when Reno replied he was speaking louder.

"Yeah, well, I thought I'd come and see my favorite world-saver since I was otherwise around those parts."

Cloud smiled. Even though he had woken Reno, the Turk still managed to crack a poor joke. He slumped on his bed and tried to keep calm during their talk. He wasn't at all used to talking, and even now he just wanted to hear Reno's voice. That smart-ass voice of his… As much as it annoyed him, Cloud had to admit he'd missed it.

There was a small pause when neither of them said a thing until Reno continued: "So, what've you been up to? I didn't know you had some delivery company." Cloud heard the slight change in Reno’s tone.

Of course, Tifa hadn't told the man the real reason behind Cloud's trip to Fort Condor. They had agreed not to tell anyone else except their closest friends, and even they understood this was something Cloud was going to do himself. The less people who knew of his little mission the better, and fewer people to disappoint if there was nothing he could do.

"It's just… something to keep my mind off things." If it was better that Reno didn't know, then why did Cloud feel so bad about lying to him? "And besides, the money comes in handy." He could have sworn Reno smiled on the other end.

"What's up with the reactor?"

It wasn't like Reno to small-talk. Was he mad at Cloud? "The geostigma's really bad down there. I… I feel like I need to do something about it."

Again Reno paused, and when he continued, his voice wavered just the tiniest bit. "So you do know about the geostigma? When were you going to tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry…" Reno's continuous questioning was starting to annoy Cloud. "I'm sorry." He had to get Reno into a better mood. "Hey, I have tomorrow free; would you like to come over? If you can't get here otherwise, I can come get you."

"I, uh… I'll have to check with Tseng. You know, I got a serious lecture from him today about the chopper. I'm probably going to have to do some ass-kissing to get out of this. But sure, I’ll make it happen." His voice suddenly turned sultry. "You owe me for not calling in days, so you better be ready to repay it…"

Now there was the Reno Cloud was used to. "Whatever… Tomorrow afternoon?"

"Yeah, it's a deal. Cloud, listen… Good night, and I l-"

"Good night, Reno." He didn't want to hear what Reno was going to say, and ended the call before Reno could finish. He just wasn't ready to hear it, not yet.

 


End file.
